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A Statue's Plea

Started by ImaLoner , Dec 07 2012 05:25 PM

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8 replies to this topic

#1 ImaLoner

Extraterrestrial Entity

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433 posts

Joined:12 Oct 2006

Posted 07 December 2012 - 05:25 PM

I haven't written poetry in a very long time. I recently wrote some haiku, so I thought I'd give poetry another try....

The pedestal you have built for me
is much too tall
I fear great heights, you see
From that elevation, I will surely fall

I am just me
Nothing less, nothing more
I will never be
Some goddess to adore

Don't place me above you
Heed the words that I have spoken
For you will eventually see too
I am not extraordinary, I am broken

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#2 orangepeaceful79

Poltergeist

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2,461 posts

Joined:05 Jan 2012

Posted 07 December 2012 - 05:28 PM

ImaLoner, on 07 December 2012 - 05:25 PM, said:

I haven't written poetry in a very long time. I recently wrote some haiku, so I thought I'd give poetry another try....

The pedestal you have built for me
is much too tall
I fear great heights, you see
From that elevation, I will surely fall

I am just me
Nothing less, nothing more
I will never be
Some goddess to adore

Don't place me above you
Heed the words that I have spoken
For you will eventually see too
I am not extraordinary, I am broken

I like this. well constructed. feels calm. I don't usually enjoy rhyming poetry, but this is nice.

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#3 spartan max2

Apparition

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321 posts

Joined:15 Nov 2012
Gender:Male
Location:Ohio
There's nothing so absurd that if you repeat it often enough

Posted 07 December 2012 - 05:33 PM

ImaLoner, on 07 December 2012 - 05:25 PM, said:

Don't place me above you
Heed the words that I have spoken
For you will eventually see too
I am not extraordinary, I am broken

I really like this last part for some reason.

" I imagine that the intellegent people are the ones so intellegent that they dont even need or want to look "intellegent" anymore".
Criss Jami

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#4 Professor T

!

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1,610 posts

Joined:11 Jul 2012
Gender:Not Selected

Posted 07 December 2012 - 05:42 PM

ImaLoner, on 07 December 2012 - 05:25 PM, said:

I am just me
Nothing less, nothing more
I will never be
Some goddess to adore

Don't place me above you
Heed the words that I have spoken

This part rocks...
Nicely done..

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#5 Cobalt60

Alien Embryo

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48 posts

Joined:28 Aug 2012
Gender:Not Selected
Location:Oklahoma, at present

Posted 07 December 2012 - 05:55 PM

thank you, that wasgreat! Apparition, I don't think that could have been said by anyone else. I don't think you've lost your 'voice', simply haven't spoken for a while.