Jump to content
Join the Unexplained Mysteries community today! It's free and setting up an account only takes a moment.
- Sign In or Create Account -

Are lies needed?


Lucas Cooper Merrin

Recommended Posts

I have lied.....you have lied....we all do it...

Whether its telling the boss your stuck in traffic while your still in bed, or keeping an unfaithful relationship going, to even lying to a nation with political propaganda! Not telling the truth at times seems to be part of normal life we dont even realise we are doing it most of the time,

i have a report to be in for Friday, when asked by my superior how it was coming along i told him it was nearly finished, truth is i haven't even opend the folder yet...why did i lie? Is it to avoid conflict, is it to make myself feel better, is it to keep things flowing with the minimum of resistance? I dont know! But i do know every human on earth lies on a daily basis to some extent! And the world keeps turning and life goes on......

But what if we were all honest all of the time, would life be easier or would things take a dramatic turn for the worse??

A partner asks you if you find her sister/brother/friend attractive....does my bum look big in this...if you say yes..... ww3 breaks out.

We have all pulled the odd sick day when in reality we were watching a ball game or having a dvd day! Imagine phoning work to say you wont be in for a few days because your watching the Game of Thrones boxset!

.....oh i never got your voicemail......sorry i never received that e.mail.....the bank made a mistake with that payment....i didnt forget your birthday im waiting on the gift ariving from amazon....ive got to work late....shes just a friend.... the list of little white lies is endless but they keep things ticking over with minimal amount of hassle and stress

How many of our CV's would be missing a few pages?

Newspapers would be a couple of sheets at most!

Lawers would cese to exist!

Religions would fall!

Are Lies are just as important in day to day life as the truth! deep down we dont want the truth, only what we want to hear??

Thoughts?

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

I think most of us have been guilty of telling those kind of lies that you have mentioned.

I hate the kind of lies though - that may hurt or cause pain to another.

Also - a good liar - needs to have a good memory.

Sometimes lies have a way of catching up.

We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger. ~Tad Williams
  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

lying seems to be second nature to humans, as a form of self preservation. Truth doesnt come easy even though deep down we know it's the right thing to do. We tend to convince our selves that "white lies" are ok, while the big ones are no no's. The problem is not everyone has the same moral compas, so what might seem like no big deal to one person, is a huge deal to someone else. It can get to the point where lying becomes a compulsion because you get a thrill out of it, kind of like a rollercoaster. You know it's wrong, and that's the reason why you are doing it in the first place. I think in the end truth is always the best, even if it might hurt someone....but easier said than done...cause some days you just dont wanna work and you gotta take a sick day! ;)

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Its like a built in default setting we have! "Make something up"

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think most of us are guilty of telling little white lies, Like the ones you mentioned and we do it because sometimes its just easier, They're not really harmful though so long as you don't get caught out and get your bloody report in on time!

Some people tell lies to try and gain sympathy or something else from people, In my experience those people nearly always get caught out in the end though some are very good at it, I've known some compulsive liars in the past, Some I think were maybe mentally ill, Some were just trying to get what they could out of people, Liars need to remember though, A good liar needs a good memory.

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think most of us are guilty of telling little white lies, Like the ones you mentioned and we do it because sometimes its just easier, They're not really harmful though so long as you don't get caught out and get your bloody report in on time!

Some people tell lies to try and gain sympathy or something else from people, In my experience those people nearly always get caught out in the end though some are very good at it, I've known some compulsive liars in the past, Some I think were maybe mentally ill, Some were just trying to get what they could out of people, Liars need to remember though, A good liar needs a good memory.

I agree that spiteful deceitful lies are something else entirely! But its the silly little ones that seem to be common human behaviour! And modern civilisation is all the smother for it!

Ive argued parking tickets and speeding fines knowing fine well i was in the wrong! Its still lying. And the old fable "il stop smoking tomorrow" thats just lying to myself!

I rememember an occasion when i phoned work and told them i had the flu just because i couldnt be botherd that monday! And i found myself at lunch time on the couch with a duvet,cough sweets and lemsips....and there was nothing wrong with me, but subconsciously i must have felt the need to justify my excuse, and started to believe my own lie!

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think most of us have been guilty of telling those kind of lies that you have mentioned.

I hate the kind of lies though - that may hurt or cause pain to another.

Also - a good liar - needs to have a good memory.

Sometimes lies have a way of catching up.

Yes i agree! The serial liers eventually mess up somewhere along the line!

But its the little white lies i think are benificial to society!

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Its like the occasions when somebody may say to you "dont worry,everything is going to be ok" they dont know that! Its basically a lie to try and improve a bad situation! But often that lie will lift the spirits of the person involved

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

While honesty is important in a relationship so are a few little lies. You should always be truthful about where you are going and what you are doing. Lie about stuff like that then you won't be trusted, they might even think you are cheating. However if you spouse comes to you asking questions like 'who looks better' or 'do you find me attractive' then you should never tell them you find others more attractive or tell them you don't find them attractive. Unless you are wanting to end the relationship because it will.

One thing you will be risking is they might not find you attractive anymore and stop trying to start anything with you. Very hard to get turned on with someone you can't feel good about yourself around. Or they might decide to get a second opinion.

As far as news papers they should always be honest or you not going to trust them to report news accurately.

Really have to decide on case by case basis when a lie or truth is what the question needs.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

There's also "improving on the truth" kinds of lies. I think we tell lies because we are insecure within ourselves and we know that others are insecure within themselves. We say what we feel we should say instead of saying what really is.

In a perfect world where everyone accepted reality as it is, telling the boss, "I won't be at work today because I don't feel like going to work today", would be a proper statement and there would be no problem in saying that.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sometimes the society forces one to lie partly because the society wants to hear lies . Consider an example where artists in concerts have to lie that what awesome the crowd was, the politicians telling that people of particular town are very honest or one lying to boss that he is not well because that's the only way you could get leave. Do we want to hear lies instead of truth? That's a topic for different thread.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sometimes the society forces one to lie partly because the society wants to hear lies . Consider an example where artists in concerts have to lie that what awesome the crowd was, the politicians telling that people of particular town are very honest or one lying to boss that he is not well because that's the only way you could get leave. Do we want to hear lies instead of truth? That's a topic for different thread.

Its true though! We would rather hear a lie that pleases us than the truth, its like as long as things keep moving along nice and smooth nobody really cares

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

I've lied as needed but I find that cold truth to burn people worse than a lie. Women say they want an honest man, no they want a good man how will tell them lies in order to make them feel good. Yet this is not single sided. Men enjoy the ego pumping lies as well.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've lied as needed but I find that cold truth to burn people worse than a lie. Women say they want an honest man, no they want a good man how will tell them lies in order to make them feel good. Yet this is not single sided. Men enjoy the ego pumping lies as well.

I couldn't agree more!

Even the pleasantries exchanged between people, "you look well" .. "have a nice day" .. "we should catch up" nobody really means any of it! So its all lies really!

We are a culture built on telling people BS

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

How many jobs have people gotten by lying? A lot. You tell people what they want to hear. It's how everything in this world works. The best lies are built with just enough truth to be believable.

Edited by XenoFish
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Do these pants make me look fat? No Dear.. they look good on you. :innocent:

Sometimes a small lie can be a kindness? ..and no harm done? So ya, i guess you could say we "need" them occasionally.

It seems to me that people have much less regard for truth than they did years, and years, ago. There seems to be a prevailing attitude that truth doesn't matter .. anymore. Or doesn't exist.

whenever "truth" comes up i see a Vision of my Mother saying . . .. The Truth Will Out

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think the problem is that it is difficult to differentiate between social behavior and moral behavior. Too many people think that moral behavior has some sort of priority, or some sort of supremacy, when in reality, it is the new-comer, the new kid on the intellectual street, and really, it doesn't have its act as together as it thinks it does.

Social behavior has kept social animals functioning for millenia. It is a part of us, possibly to the point of being instictual. Lying to others is built in, and there isn't a semi-sentient out there who doesn't do it. To pretend there is some sort of moral aspect to it smacks of the same reasoning that claims there is some moral aspect to homosexuality. It ignores that whatever moral aspect exists is artificial, and does not really affect the reality of the situation in any meaningful way.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I couldn't agree more!

Even the pleasantries exchanged between people, "you look well" .. "have a nice day" .. "we should catch up" nobody really means any of it! So its all lies really!

We are a culture built on telling people BS

Maybe for you, are you saying you can't find something truthful to say about someone, that makes their day better?

I agree you can find all kinds of examples of your OP, but there are lots of people who try to be guided by integrity.

I would not cheat, not that I am above it or incapable, but that it would harm another, therefore, it's not a choice.

I cancel things, I tell the truth, I'm not into it today.

I wish I had a big butt, and if someone told me I did I'd be thrilled.

In great shape or 50 pounds overweight, my hubby is perfection to me.

Edited by Sherapy
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Soft lies are needed to maintain the societal fabric, on a small scale.

A 'soft lie' is a lie that maintains cohesion.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Lies should be avoided; they require an excellent memory and break the harmony of the universe. Still, nothing is absolute and if telling the truth causes more harm then lie through your teeth.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Lying typically follows the path of less perceived resistance. I found the movie The Invention of Lying with Ricky Gervais quite entertaining, definitely worth a watch in my opinion. A lie is an evaluation of risk, reward and simply the avoidance of conflict. The capacity to accurately evaluate these components short term and long term without adding more difficulty down the track is the crux of the matter. I would say that a person is better off developing other attributes to nullify the negative effects of telling the truth than to take a shortcut. Are lies needed? Yes but only as training wheels for the bigger, better picture.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Soft lies are needed to maintain the societal fabric, on a small scale.

A 'soft lie' is a lie that maintains cohesion.

Absolutely, there are times that 'social lies' are necessary to keep us from going at one another's throats.

That said, self serving, harmful, negative (dare I say, evil) lies do not really help anyone (even the liar).

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.