Posted 13 February 2011 - 03:04 AM
k, i'll tell you though most is very personal even though i've been doing this forever it still sometimes scares me like the first day
oh yes, the shadows, i have many but after years i now try to ignore them, they do tricks like mess with the room lights, when i ignore them... the lightbulb of my room keeps getting burned and as I enter the room, my family pretends it doesn't happen, lights go on and off, i used to pay them attention but now i'm tired and they're becoming very rude.
They've protected me a few times, other people have seen them as well, I have no enemies here bad things happen to people who don't like me I have no idea if they read thoughts? but there's some people who actually blame me for their bad stuff and they run from me like i were death they think the shadows are things i control lolol if they knew i have no idea what they are and why they keep the attitude and that i TRY with all my might to keep an open mind, try to convince myself it could be group psychosis or whatever haha.
I read the tarot, sometimes I think they tell me or posess me somehow to tell the things i've told, i've tried every single evil practice when younger just to test because I was a non believer, well, I sure regret now trying divination so hard, reading in the water, the mirror painted black, all the games... I now read the tarot once a year when my mom begs me, only person I couldn't say no to in that department.
But that is not my only experience, when someone in my family dies I know it from before, but like, right when it happens, when my cousins killed themselves 30 minutes before the phone rang, I screamed their names and I felt them cry at my ear, I think it's something about our blood, I know when something's wrong with a familiar, specially on my dad's side.
And finally the scariest is when I have the sleep paralysis symptoms but they get mixed with messages, last time one of them became very real, but he didn't look like a person he looked all rotten, he got on top of me like he was going to rape me and kept saying in a mocking voice: Please sweety just one more time, give me one more time, I thought I was going to die... they were nasty and they said they belonged to my great aunt (it happened around the time I was visiting her)... who's like 108 and still alive, and I hope so cause the ones in my house were never that abusive... I managed to get out of that one, I hate them, they're a whole bunch of perverts lol ,.,.. if they're real, I still keep the hopes of being crazy,, when they stress me too much I just choose to believe whatever rocks my boat.
Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.