296 replies to this topic

[Eldorado]

Dr Eldorado! Your UM problem solver.
A problem shared is a problem laughed at!
(Do not use the forum to request or provide help with medical conditions or medications, you are always best to seek the advice of your doctor.)

Got Something Bugging You? Ask Dr Eldorado, PHD ( Pretty Handsome Dude)!

Dear Dr El
Last week my girlfriend told me that she’s been probed by aliens. Should I worry about this? -- Joe

Sadly, Joe you should. There’s no telling what the probe was, who did the probing and why. Girls tend to be a wee bit untruthful in this regard so I’d advise dumping her.

Dear Dr El
My dog talks to me. -- Sid

Dear Sid, as long as you never follow it’s advice, you’ll be fine.

Dear Dr El
With the approaching Doomsday should I abandon my 9 to 5 life and live out my fantasies? -- Mildred

Mildred, my dear. Don’t be silly.

Dear Dr El
I’m worried sick about Jack the Ripper. What can we do? -- Nathanial

Well, Nat I’d advise you give up your career as an East London prostitute. As for the rest of us, I think we’ll be safe.

Dear Dr El
Is there any truth in the rumour that a great number of highly intelligent people are sometimes cursed with being rude, offensive and obnoxious? -- Salty the Seal

That’s a hard one, Salty. I’d say, yes.

Dear Dr El
I’ve been dating a zombie for 6 days and 3 hours now, El and he hasn’t even nibbled my ear. What’s the deal? -- Stacey

He’s quite obviously gay, Stacey-pie. Dump him.  You're too good for him anyway.
　
Need A Short Answer To A Short Question? Ask Dr Eldorado!

Edited by Eldorado, 24 June 2012 - 06:34 PM.

[QuiteContrary]

Dear Dr El

I'm tired of only getting to go out with my boyfriend Vladimir at night? Any advice?

[Eldorado]

QuiteContrary, on 24 June 2012 - 06:40 PM, said:

Dear Dr El

I'm tired of only getting to go out with my boyfriend Vladimir at night? Any advice?

You should run away with Vladimir, imo.  Money matters not a jot when you have love and each other.

[JonathanVonErich]

I have a question for you, Dr. El

Can I see proof that you are indeed a real doctor ?? A diploma or something ?? Hmmmmmm ??

[Star of the Sea]

Dear Dr. El,

When are you going to publish a book? You have so many fans now

Edited by Star of the Sea, 24 June 2012 - 08:08 PM.

[Knight Of Shadows]

Dr  El there is this girl i really like .. and there is that girl i also really like
and between these two my heart is torn because between them there's also this girl that is so adoreable
on the other hand her friend is soo cute .. but her sister .. ohh man beyond word
what do i do ? not about all the ones above but about this new girl i know

[Wordless Wanderer]

Dear Dr. El,

Where can I get your autograph?

[Knight Of Shadows]

Wordless Wanderer, on 24 June 2012 - 08:13 PM, said:

Dear Dr. El,

Where can I get your autograph?

ohh if i was Dr.El  . i'd know the answer to that reall well " smirks big time "

[Lcvec]

Dear Dr. El

I don't know what to do with my life. Should I start wearing pink clothes?

[Knight Of Shadows]

Lcvec, on 24 June 2012 - 09:10 PM, said:

Dear Dr. El

I don't know what to do with my life. Should I start wearing pink clothes?

am sorry am Dr.El's assistant he's busy at the moment he went to his shrink .. he'll be back soon please wait in the hall

[Eldorado]

QuiteContrary, on 24 June 2012 - 06:40 PM, said:

Dear Dr El

I'm tired of only getting to go out with my boyfriend Vladimir at night? Any advice?

On the advice of lawyers, QC (lol) I change my original advice in case you are under-18 and do indeed elope with Vladimir.  Plus, I'd feel guilty if he impaled you without your consent.

You should therefore, imo cherish having someone to love and stop being so greedy.  No offence.

[Eldorado]

JonathanVonErich, on 24 June 2012 - 07:54 PM, said:

I have a question for you, Dr. El

Can I see proof that you are indeed a real doctor ?? A diploma or something ?? Hmmmmmm ??

Diploma? I have no diploma. I don't need no steenking diploma!

[Eldorado]

Star of the Sea, on 24 June 2012 - 08:06 PM, said:

Dear Dr. El,

When are you going to publish a book? You have so many fans now

In time for Christmas, Star.  In time for Christmas.  *puffs on cigar*

[Eldorado]

Knight Of Shadows, on 24 June 2012 - 08:11 PM, said:

Dr  El there is this girl i really like .. and there is that girl i also really like
and between these two my heart is torn because between them there's also this girl that is so adoreable
on the other hand her friend is soo cute .. but her sister .. ohh man beyond word
what do i do ? not about all the ones above but about this new girl i know

It would appear, Knight that you are confusing your heart & mind with your loins.  A common error among the Young Jedi which usually leads to torn underpants, not a torn heart.

Toss a coin.

Wordless Wanderer, on 24 June 2012 - 08:13 PM, said:

Dear Dr. El,

Where can I get your autograph?

You can't.

[Eldorado]

Lcvec, on 24 June 2012 - 09:10 PM, said:

Dear Dr. El

I don't know what to do with my life. Should I start wearing pink clothes?

Only if you want to look like a girl, Lcvec.