Strange feelings

[Wellzerz2015]

Ok, So posting on a site about what I've been going through is very new to me, but I have had a hard time figuring out what is going on with myself. Ever since I was a kid I would get these feelings that would throw me off guard and I knew that something bad was going to happen, and usually something bad did happen. But, within the last year or two, when I do get these feelings they can get so bad I get physically sick. My anxiety gets so bad I have panic attacks that are debilitating. I had this feeling about a year ago that was so bad I couldn't sleep and I would have several panic attacks during the day, and my mind kept going to the subject of death, that's all I could mentally think about. This started happening after my friend moved to a different state to be with his girlfriend. I knew that something bad was going to happen. About a month after he moved to the new state with the new girlfriend he would tell me some of the things that were happening and the situation seemed unstable, and my feeling got worse. I actually thought that because of what he told me that the person he was with was going to try and kill him, and I remember I kept telling him to be careful and to watch yourself. About a week after that we got a phone call and he told us that his girlfriend had just committed suicide. It was so out of the blue, but because of the feelings I had been having I knew that's what it was about. After that the feelings seemed to dim a little and I wasn't as anxious as I was. Eventually the feelings came back and the panic attacks came back and they were worse then they had been. It was to the point I couldn't even watch a movie without having a panic attack and having to get up to take my mind off whatever I was thinking. I eventually went to a doctor and was prescribed some medication, I've been taking them for a couple months now and although they helped tremendously in the beginning, I am now starting to feel the same way I was even on the medication. I have this over powering feeling that something is going to happen, and I'm scared to know what that may be. So the reason for this post is to see if anyone else has gone through anything like this or is going through something like this. I'm never a person to ask others for opinions and I fully believe in dealing with things myself, but this is over powering me and I need some type of advice.

[+ouija ouija]

Hi Wellzerz2015, welcome to UM.

I have experienced what you are experiencing but to a much lesser degree ........ maybe only once or twice a year, some years nothing. I'm not sure that it's possible to stop the initial premonition, but maybe you can work on lessening the 'aftershocks'. I can understand how your panic attacks have increased over the years: you know from experience that the premonition will come true, you just don't have enough detail to know who it will affect and how ..... if you did then maybe you could help them to avoid whatever it is that's going to happen to them, or at least warn them and then it's up to them what action they take.

But you know, what you're getting is a glimpse into the future which probably can't be altered. For this reason it would probably be most helpful if you can teach yourself to shrug your shoulders and say "Whatever will be will be. It is out of my hands. Greater forces are in control", and then make yourself let go of the premonition. It will take many tries before it begins to work a little.

Good Luck.

[Wellzerz2015]

Thank you so much and I know that I can't control whatever may happen. But, I think the worst part of it this time is I feel like it's something that will happen to myself. I am trying so hard to push this into the back of my head and to not let it control me and it's hard. Maybe I feel like it's going to happen to me because it may be someone I am super close too, I don't know. I am trying my hardest to live my life as normal as I can, but it's affecting my marriage, and that's the hardest part for me. I know it's hard for others to understand things like this, and I don't blame him for not understanding. I just feel like I'm alone with my thoughts and that scares me. That's why I took to this website to try and find others who understand what I'm saying!

[Lenore Graves]

Sounds like you have a pretty serious anxiety disorder, I would recommend seeing a doctor or a therapist

[+ouija ouija]

Thank you so much and I know that I can't control whatever may happen. But, I think the worst part of it this time is I feel like it's something that will happen to myself. I am trying so hard to push this into the back of my head and to not let it control me and it's hard. Maybe I feel like it's going to happen to me because it may be someone I am super close too, I don't know. I am trying my hardest to live my life as normal as I can, but it's affecting my marriage, and that's the hardest part for me. I know it's hard for others to understand things like this, and I don't blame him for not understanding. I just feel like I'm alone with my thoughts and that scares me. That's why I took to this website to try and find others who understand what I'm saying!

It is difficult when others don't understand something that is causing you so much anguish. As you say, it makes it impossible to talk about it and it's left going around & around in your head. But know this, even if something does befall you, you will come through it, you will find that you can cope with it and come out the other side! The other thing is, the panic beforehand is very often worse than the event itself.

Medication may help up to a point, but while you are medicated use that time to retrain your mind to be more accepting that it is all out of your hands. It is unfortunate that you have this 'gift' of premonition but if you persist in paying it as little attention as possible it will, hopefully, 'shrivel' up somewhat.

[uuner]

Thank you so much and I know that I can't control whatever may happen. But, I think the worst part of it this time is I feel like it's something that will happen to myself. I am trying so hard to push this into the back of my head and to not let it control me and it's hard. Maybe I feel like it's going to happen to me because it may be someone I am super close too, I don't know. I am trying my hardest to live my life as normal as I can, but it's affecting my marriage, and that's the hardest part for me. I know it's hard for others to understand things like this, and I don't blame him for not understanding. I just feel like I'm alone with my thoughts and that scares me. That's why I took to this website to try and find others who understand what I'm saying!

When it comes to premonitions, I can't help, but I've had panic attacks for as long as I can remember, and in varying intensities, and from my personal experience I'd say pushing it to the back of your head is the last thing you should do... no actually it shouldn't even be the last, forget about suppressing it all together. What you need is some kind of outlet. Lately I've come to just accept the fact that I get panic attacks, and call it stubbornness or whatever, but I don't feel the need to see a doctor I prefer solving this myself (Not saying you shouldn't! If your condition is really bad then you should really consider a doctor).

Returning to my point, which was: outlets!

I practice kung fu, which, as a martial art, is really versatile. We practice physical aspects (forms, combat, self defense) and internal aspects (meditation, qigong, taichii). Trough the internal aspects I've learned to "identify" my anxiety and I've kinda accepted it as a part of myself and then trough the physical aspects I try to channel it, for example: let's say I'm doing pushups, then I try to focus on the anxiety and then use the feeling it causes as "fuel". It's kinda hard to put into words, but it makes perfect sense to me.

Lastly I just really want to be clear on this: DO NOT SUPPRESS IT!

From my experience that only makes it worse, if you push it into the back of your head, then it will still be there, and if you keep doing that, then it will keep building up

Also, feel free to PM if you ever want to talk about this, I'm in no manner a professional, but I know how bad it can feel when things are at their worst. And when things were at their worst I just wanted someone to talk to more than anything.

[Wellzerz2015]

I totally agree with you, for the last two weeks, since trying to put it to the back of my mind hasn't been working. I decided to change some things in my life. I now go on a 5 or more mile bike ride every night and do a work out when I'm done, it does seem to help with everything. I still get the anxiety and the weird feelings but I can concentrate on them more when I'm alone and on a bike ride. It seems to help me channel all my thoughts. So, maybe this can keep things on a more manageable level.

[White Unicorn]

I've been a sensitive or empath all my life so I generally understand the premonitions and don't have panic attacks.

Subconscious picks up things you don't realize and sends a message to you in vision thought symbols words or Emotions. The last is what causes the attacks. The answer is to know your own subconscious better to understand what the message it's trying to communicate. Meditation and conscious reflection is the answer to balance it out. Biking hiking and the like is a good start.

We connect to ourselves, others and nature so there are times you don't know where a channelling comes from. I will share an experience that may help you view an unexplained panick feeling.

I was gardening and if I was not accustomed to having premonitions I would have most certainly had a panic attack. It seemed huge and outside of me. I said to my spouse something big and horrible is happening but I don't know what. I feel fear of death to many, I feel pain, I see the sky falling through several eyes, it is like an earthquake. I felt it but I knew it wasn't me that had the fear, I was empathizing a premonition. I look to the sky and hills for a clue, nothing. I logically think maybe it's something bad in garden dirt that my subconscious is trying to tell me?

I loook through dirt and grass closest to me very carefully. There it is! A spider was giving birth to a sack of eggs. I would have killed it if I hadn't felt that fear and panick, because I was filling where it was at.

I learned a lot about premonition feelings that day. It was huge a horrible giant event of fear and pain. I was the horrible giant. I somehow picked up on a spider and I don't even like spiders, in fact it took many years to lose my fear of them.

The lesson in this for us is premonitions and empathizing can bring strong Emotions that could lead to panick attacks if you can't balance it out. When you have no clue what it is, I admit I was close to an attack but found control because I knew it was not me but was experiencing from something outside of me, the emotion was not mine.

My revelation that day was the feelings of pain fear and death was huge to me and out of the blue since I was happy and content. I never felt an empathy so huge before. Very weird but I discovered it was something so Small and something I normally avoid to the extremes.

My advice to you is to meditate to know yourself better and realize even if a panic attack feels large it may really be the subconscious communication to you about something Very small.

[xYlvax]

It's instinct.. you shouldn't ignore it.

[preacherman76]

What's your daily caffeine intake look like? No lie I have a cousin who started having these massive horrible anxiety attacks for like a year. Never put two and two together that he drank coffee all day long. Soon as he cut way back on the coffee, they were instantly gone.

[+ouija ouija]

What's your daily caffeine intake look like? No lie I have a cousin who started having these massive horrible anxiety attacks for like a year. Never put two and two together that he drank coffee all day long. Soon as he cut way back on the coffee, they were instantly gone.

This is good advice! Some people can take lots of coffee, some can't. One weak one per day is my limit, any more and I'm jittery and bad-tempered.

[Wellzerz2015]

I don't usually drink too much caffeine maybe one beverage per day that has caffeine in it, I stopped drinking soda about a year ago. I drink mostly water.

[John from Lowell]

Hi,

I stopped drinking soda a few years ago. Like you I drink about one caffeine beverage a day and lots of water.

The energetically sensitive person like yourself can do better, in my view, with these things by dealing with them and avoiding medication of any kind. Medication is great for preventing serious depression however it is not the way you want to live the rest of your life I suspect. The body and psyche will adjust to any level of medication and bring to your attention the things it wants you to confront. I am not a professional qualified to speak about these things. Just a person like yourself with my own conclusions and opinions.

There are things you can learn about "mind over matter". What I sense as important right now would be support from your husband. Can he see or appreciate this as an ability more than a problem. Can you see and appreciate it that way. In that world of mind over matter, many things start with a shift in perception. Do not get caught up with those thoughts about "why me". You can sense things period. Become at peace with that first. Then we can discuss how to use and process what you sense productively.

John

[Ozfactor]

Your anxiety is causing you to think bad things are going to happen and when they do happen it reinforces in your mind your anxiety predicted it . Confide these feelings to your doctor , they will , or they should, suggest counselling . Don't take anxiety lightly , it can be crippling . Do yourself a hugh favour and get on top of it , good luck honey , I hope you find a good therapist and understand that we all feel like this at different times in our lives , anxiety isn't a bad thing unless we are experiencing it at times when there is no reason to be anxious xx

[Wellzerz2015]

Anxiety is very crippling, I honestly wish I knew why mine is so bad. My husband tries to understand what I am going through. but I don't fully believe he ever really will. Although, he is there for me when I need him, he is the only person that when i'm around can help my anxiety go away. Why that is, I have no idea. Maybe it's because I feel safe around him, but truthfully I don't know why I have the feelings that I do. All I know is that these feelings come with some bad thoughts. Death seems to be the one thing my mind focuses on, and I can't seem to get the thoughts to go away. I wish I knew why I have these thoughts, but I don't.

[White Unicorn]

Your anxiety is causing you to think bad things are going to happen and when they do happen it reinforces in your mind your anxiety predicted it . Confide these feelings to your doctor , they will , or they should, suggest counselling . Don't take anxiety lightly , it can be crippling . Do yourself a hugh favour and get on top of it , good luck honey , I hope you find a good therapist and understand that we all feel like this at different times in our lives , anxiety isn't a bad thing unless we are experiencing it at times when there is no reason to be anxious xx

I agree with Ozfactor. Your anxiety isn't under control yet and can have serious consequences if you can't control it. It sounds like physical causes are the root of the intensity of the feelings. Your doctor can refer you to a specialist who can test your body chemistry and see what is out of balance and causing the intensity. There are many good drugs to help through crisis times. Once you feel better you will be better prepared to learn how to manage it later by more natural ways then medicine once the trigger is found.

[Wellzerz2015]

Yes I hope I can find a medication to control it. That would make my life so much easier. But, so far I have been on 4 different medications ranging from a mild antidepressant/anxiety pill to a heavy tranquilizer (which by the way, its way to strong to take during the day so that is my sleeping pill). But, the one I am on now it's seems to be ok I guess. It makes me sick if I take a whole one so I'm slowing working my way up to being able to take a whole pill like I'm supposed to. So we shall see how that works. In the mean time to try and keep my anxiety at a manageable level I try to exercise every night and keep myself busy, I also try to listen to my thoughts and try to make sense of them instead of ignoring my feelings. Also, thanks everyone for all the advice on this, i appreciate any advice I can get to help with this. I'm tired of living my life worried all the time and crippled by my anxiety. I would love so much to be normal again like I was when I was younger and could go out with friends without having a panic attack.