Oh dear... This is a problem... I'm seeing a close circle of friends that seem to stand apart from you a bit, they are still your friends and don't mind that you are gay, it's more like you aren't comfortable being gay. Being comfortable with yourself is a hard thing to learn when everyone keeps thinking, "I'll be he's not gay, he's just confused." You feel this coming from everyone close to you. You know you are a bit psychic but that doesn't mean that we know what's happening in our lives, we are the hardest to read for us. Keep your friends but look for new ones too. I get the feeling that you are feeling like the odd peg. You need some gay friends. I honestly don't see the love of your life coming for a while, about 6 months but you won't meet him if you don't start expanding your circle of friend to incorporate people that are more like you. I'm seeing something about a group function, looks like a party or something. I'd try something like a church that caters to gay. Even a spiritual church you have a better chance of meeting someone with the same value system, someone that wants a long lasting relationship. You don't have to change your life, just add a little to it, Good luck!! You seem like such a sweet man.
Thank you. That is exactly how I've been feeling. I feel a bit isolated in a way. To be honest, I do feel like I still have some fear about being gay, but I also know that I am making improvements to overcome the fear by coming out to certain friends and familiy members, but I think you are right about expanding friends. I need to find a way to be more open to changes and new opportunities and friendships.