0
Sanity
Posted by
StarMountainKid
,
02 April 2012
·
188 views
Sanity
I've been reading through some of my previous entries here, and the all sound the same. Plus, they all sound like someone else hs written them. What I mean is, they all sound like the same persona has written them in the same way, but not me. It's a little disconcerting. It's almost like I haven't written any of them myself, someone else has. I think this is because I'm not really the persona who's been writing all this, my alter-ego has.
Sometimes I wish I could get rid of this guy, this alter-ego of mine. But, when I try to write something myself, he always comes out and takes over. Like now. I'm not sure if I'm writing this or he is. I guess I just have to live with this curious situation until I can afford to see a psychiatrist. Maybe he'll send me to a mental hospital. I might actually enjoy living in a mental hospital for a while. It might be a nice change for me.
I once had a friend who spent some time in a mental hospital, and there he was cured of his brain malfunction. He even had a diploma of sorts that he had framed and hung on the wall of his living room. It stated that he was officially sane. It was signed by two psychiatrists, who were recognized by the State of Illinois, so it was official. He used to point to his diploma and say, "I can prove I'm sane, can you?"
Most people don't have that kind of official documentation certifying their sanity. Maybe everyone should volunteer to be committed to mental hospitals for a while. Just long enough to be certified sane and have a diploma to prove it. Maybe that should even be mandatory. A law enacted that, at a certain age, everyone is required to spend say two years in a sanatorium. It would be like being drafted into the Army.
Anyone without a sanity diploma would be considered mentally deficient by the government. They'd have their citizen's rights taken away from them, and it would be hard for them to get jobs or collect any kind of benefits like food stamps or social security. They'd be outcasts from society, and live in hovels and be ragged and dirty and hungry all the time.
Of course, when they got tired of this kind of awful life, the could always volunteer to go to a mental hospital and be cured of the reasons they refused to go to the mental hospital in the first place. When they'd gotten their diploma, they'd wonder why they'd refused to go in the beginning.
All their misgivings about becoming officially sane would have disappeared from their memory. They'd always be happy after this, I suppose, and rational and normal.
I think a lot of people would refuse to go, though. I think I would. I'd escape to Canada or someplace that didn't have this law and seek sanctuary. I'd be like a refugee. Maybe there I could get a job as a laborer or something, and not have too bad a life enjoying my mental abnormalities.
I'd do this because I think being slightly crazy is better than being completely sane. Maybe I only think this way because thinking this way is part of my craziness. My fear of sanity is a symptom of my mental imbalance. If I had earned my diploma, I'd look back on this psychophobia and laugh at my prior foolishness. "What an idiot I was," I'd say, and I'd be right.
But I'm never going for my diploma. I kind of like my abnormal behavior and eccentric though patterns. I'm used to them and they're comforting, like old friends.
Maybe in my scenario above, people who didn't have a sanity diploma would have a sort of diploma, anyway. A document stating their as yet insane-ness. Signed by two psychiatrists, most likely. If I had one, I'd frame that and hang it on my livingroom wall, just like my friend did with his sanity diploma.
Proof of insanity has its benefits, I think. That way, I wouldn't have to come up with so many excuses. I'd just point to my diploma.
I've been reading through some of my previous entries here, and the all sound the same. Plus, they all sound like someone else hs written them. What I mean is, they all sound like the same persona has written them in the same way, but not me. It's a little disconcerting. It's almost like I haven't written any of them myself, someone else has. I think this is because I'm not really the persona who's been writing all this, my alter-ego has.
Sometimes I wish I could get rid of this guy, this alter-ego of mine. But, when I try to write something myself, he always comes out and takes over. Like now. I'm not sure if I'm writing this or he is. I guess I just have to live with this curious situation until I can afford to see a psychiatrist. Maybe he'll send me to a mental hospital. I might actually enjoy living in a mental hospital for a while. It might be a nice change for me.
I once had a friend who spent some time in a mental hospital, and there he was cured of his brain malfunction. He even had a diploma of sorts that he had framed and hung on the wall of his living room. It stated that he was officially sane. It was signed by two psychiatrists, who were recognized by the State of Illinois, so it was official. He used to point to his diploma and say, "I can prove I'm sane, can you?"
Most people don't have that kind of official documentation certifying their sanity. Maybe everyone should volunteer to be committed to mental hospitals for a while. Just long enough to be certified sane and have a diploma to prove it. Maybe that should even be mandatory. A law enacted that, at a certain age, everyone is required to spend say two years in a sanatorium. It would be like being drafted into the Army.
Anyone without a sanity diploma would be considered mentally deficient by the government. They'd have their citizen's rights taken away from them, and it would be hard for them to get jobs or collect any kind of benefits like food stamps or social security. They'd be outcasts from society, and live in hovels and be ragged and dirty and hungry all the time.
Of course, when they got tired of this kind of awful life, the could always volunteer to go to a mental hospital and be cured of the reasons they refused to go to the mental hospital in the first place. When they'd gotten their diploma, they'd wonder why they'd refused to go in the beginning.
All their misgivings about becoming officially sane would have disappeared from their memory. They'd always be happy after this, I suppose, and rational and normal.
I think a lot of people would refuse to go, though. I think I would. I'd escape to Canada or someplace that didn't have this law and seek sanctuary. I'd be like a refugee. Maybe there I could get a job as a laborer or something, and not have too bad a life enjoying my mental abnormalities.
I'd do this because I think being slightly crazy is better than being completely sane. Maybe I only think this way because thinking this way is part of my craziness. My fear of sanity is a symptom of my mental imbalance. If I had earned my diploma, I'd look back on this psychophobia and laugh at my prior foolishness. "What an idiot I was," I'd say, and I'd be right.
But I'm never going for my diploma. I kind of like my abnormal behavior and eccentric though patterns. I'm used to them and they're comforting, like old friends.
Maybe in my scenario above, people who didn't have a sanity diploma would have a sort of diploma, anyway. A document stating their as yet insane-ness. Signed by two psychiatrists, most likely. If I had one, I'd frame that and hang it on my livingroom wall, just like my friend did with his sanity diploma.
Proof of insanity has its benefits, I think. That way, I wouldn't have to come up with so many excuses. I'd just point to my diploma.
A diploma of sanity sounds like a farce of how the brain of the mentally unstable works. I don't know what was up with that.