Posted 31 January 2013 - 12:01 PM
she woke up one day and knew that I was out there some where. but she had things to do and a life to live. her lover was a voice from the future that made her feel the greatness that was hers alone. there were answers that she had no heart to understand. the confussion of her life was lifted ....and clearity can be very hard to deal with....she danced in a one pass dance that would not dance the same dance twice for fear that tomorrow would come to soon.
before she met him.she wanted excitement in her life, she mistook lust for romance , and wreaklessness for dareing , honor and disapline for boredom and ....she ran in the company of danger and brutal mindless evil and when he came in the quiet measured voice of a most common and simple man ,..........that she
knew for days measured in moments , the loss of him was nearly anguish.
he simply didn't understand what she was talking about, he didn't understand what it was that she wanted from him. she found the letter he left for her, a story , a fiction , that didn't change anything. nonsense and symbol ,miss spelled words and algebra with meaning that only the man and her could understand.
in the letter was the day and hour ,
what I looked like and where to look.
I had the day off and so I went to the museum . In the bright light of the late morning sun,I saw this beautiful woman who came with a man and seemed to anyone seeing her to be looking for a lost child...
she captured my eyes from fifty feet away. she was tall and slender,
dressed for an elegant evening among rich and powerful well heeled society and the politically proper elite.
her friends were not like me... not the droll little troll from machine shops and steel yards , storm fenced bone yards and Levis with dirty cuffs ,she would never talk with a guy like myself. how I found myself talking with her is lost in a fuzzy mist of the past, but there on a bench out side by the grass.....
she talked of god and politics and physics .... and suddenly.... I knew , she was here form a place so far in the future , it would be meaningless to in the attempt ..... of course, I was mistaken........... but for a while she had a good time with me.she said a fue words.... befor I got it , she talked and i felt her mind move..... lisened and heard her words..... when I understood her story .
she cried and her friend came and asked to forgive her for she was.
...crazy.....
she and I knew that she was not crazy...
she hadn't been feeling well.....her lover knew that I could help her,a lover from a future that no longer exsisted... but how he knew is a mystery .
when the guy that came with her that morning had left us alone , I told her that he was a friend , and didn't know any better.
Never assume malviolance
when ignorance will explain it.
she talked to me of a different time when she talked with a man who understood all that a mind could hold.
as she fingered her ring, turning it on her finger she said there are many myths that seem on the telling of them to be truth . and the knowing of them , or telling , to impart wisdom.
the wearing of rings .
each ring is a person that is loved, the character of the person that is loved.
to wear the ring is to embrace the memory in the heart. the wedding set is the two men a women marrys, the one before and the man after the vows. gold rings are forever , as diamonds are forever. they have a life and character
that changes those around them . silver tarnishes and brightens with the wearing.
silver records all the lives that touch it and tells who the person is that wears it. it is a witness and companion to the hardships and triumphs , failures and successes .
to ware a ring is to hold a past person captive in the soul...
to hold their memory in the heart....that person in the mind...... even when the person changes ......as people do.....and time moves them.... a women is a thousand people between twelve and thirty. but after thirty she becomes her mother. a man is the work that he does, who he sees himself as is a reflection of the skill and discipline in the work that he does. a man without work is a sorry creature , what he did in the past is how he sees the history of that time.
a woman seeks relationships with others , relationships with others ......relationships with others , with the ease of breathing . man , woman, animal , or child ; it makes no great different with whom a woman finds relationships with others ...... relationships with others , and an empathy of spirit .
a man was not designed to be alone, and can find solace in men only when he has found the company of a woman .
a man alone will be less troubled , less hurried , and in every way,
comfortable and in control of his life and the living of it. he will also be hungry for the company of a woman. the trouble that a women brings is a good kind of problem. nothing that a women does makes their company have either value
or reward equal to trouble they cause and the damage and money they cost. but they are the singular answer for the solitary living of a man, by design. the woman a man should seek has an age of half his age plus seven years.
I laughted in the truth of her words........ and she smiled...... she told her friend to go..... I could see that he was concerned...... she had met with me for only 30 minutes , and not ever known me befor this moment in time..... but he did as he was told...
she needed to walk.... walk and watch the side walk as we talked
she knew a pilsner bar on the other side of the river..... "lets walk and talk, chocolet truffle cake and beer..... " her eyes giggled , and I felt that it had been months since she had smiled.....she asked me to stretch her mind with a thinking thing..... I knew what she ment with the words...... and I said
...nothing that you have ever known
begins to prepare you for
this night mare of the thinking and the horror of the waking minds knowing of the concept of the void ,but when you begin to seek void, know that if you ever succeed
and find yourself looking into the harming absolute vacuum
that is the very nature of the knowing, that your escape is in saying to yourself
" I am looking in to void ... there is the void ....and there is me, myself... there are two of us."
what is void ? don't quickly seek to know it . understand
that the void I speak of is no simple word ,but it is a stat,
condition of infinites ,eternities, absolutes, total states
that stretch the very operation of the thinking process.
void is not limited to the absence of matter , there is an
absences of everything , electromagnetism ,gravity , .....
everything that makes up what is commonly excepted ,is no more.
there is on an infinite scale ... no motion at any scale, from
the microsub atomic to the cosmic there is no motion , from
the nano second to the eons of centurys there is no motion.
because no where is there any distinction between any two
points, forever and everywhere there is unbroken and totaly
without distinction uniform nothing. . . . even the idea
that this place has a nature of night like darkness or cosmic
size are limitations that do no apply ... even the idea of
nothing is expanded in that you must nolonger look at it as
if it where related to zero , with the possibility of one.
there is nolonger even the possibility to sense size or time,
these are meaningless .
direction , center , acceleration , force, mass , the speed
of light , all are meaningless concepts that do not apply.
we paused on the bridge going over the river.... and she touched my arm and said to me....
if you continue thinking along these lines, know that where
you are going is totaly personal.... but I hope with a small chance
at an insight or two.
with all that you have seen in that mind expanding void ,
let a single point of distinction enter
,and the game begins all over again. " we begin walking again as I lisen to her voice......
side walk watching , thinking thinkers talking , minds lock thoughts stalking , our minds caught in walking .
" without granting any qualitys to this point,beyond that it is
not the same as all else, things begin by themselves.
however the mind is aware of the point,defines its nature.
if from the void there is the violent escape to any point
other than that place that the mind has been looking into...
that place without god.... . this point, is only a little
different from the embodiment of the joy in embracing and
being embraced by god. if after loving and wooing this
friend and companion , this point of distinction. you can
begin again to look with aclear
eye , see what is with us.
what can you say of its size?
because it is singular in nature,there is nothing else to
compare it to. and in this case nothing means infinitely
and eternally . if the point of distinction had two sides
to it...it would not be one thing , however its size would be
relative to itself.in an ideal model however it is not as
much fun granting dimensions or mass, lets make it work these
qualitys out for itself.
however without any help from us it dose have a scale to
measure itself with , infinity!
its relationship to infinity is its relative size.
and as that size changes there is a relative time period
using eternity as a scale.
but could it be that the rules that make the point exsist are
far more interesting than the magic that they create.
this point that can igsist in the mind can also be seen in
the cosmos and all around us.
when the big bang is small and ready to expand out , it is
small because infinity is large , and when it expands ,it is
changing its size relative to infinity and eternity.
inverse temporal mobiuus feed back loop.
that is what we are in a nut.
have you ever realy thought about the simplest of all given
conditions in the living and feeling of all of this.
there is a difference between places and time that the new
math must see. energy and matter may be related .....
but time and space are not. eternity and infinity are not.
it is like looking at the differences between portland and
Thursday , a mile and twenty hours .....
Thursday is everywhere all over the cosmos , Thursday is not
more or less anywhere more or less. it is just as much here
as in portland ... or the far side of the universe.
Thursday has no size or location.
portland is a place that can be measured in feet and miles
but it lacks a time.
you can say the events leading to it and after a mans death
those things following his end, yet my thinking is that you
can not measure it in inches or hours because they are a thing
different .
eternity is of a class of things that includes time ,energy,
and in the most absolute condition expressed itself as the
big bang ,accelaration without mass.
infinity is also of a class of things that include space,mass
and in the most absolute condition expresses itself as the
one and final black hole that will reduce the total cosmos to
a single unity that will end time.
or should I say mass without change.
the family resemblance is striking between the beginning and
ending, but there are differences that are far more different
than the same. how would it be if one half of the cycle were
reversed .....no match.... but there are significant
clues,the numbers aren't right,nor events.... but if both
events were viewed not as one big bang,and one big crunch,bvt
as one event seen in two directions at once slipping from a
dimension that we cannot see thru our reality and into a
second dimension that we cannot see then the numbers do fit.
what kind of statements could be made of this, our reality.
she and I entered the bar and were seated..... I ordered a shrimp salade and a lemonade..... my tall graceful friend ordered a new spring beer and truffle cake... and she said to me ....looking into and holding the salad dressing bottle ....picture in your mind a slim fish tank filled with a clear oil and water , you can clearly see the divider between them but which is it oil or water. the interface is neither and both at the same moment.
when the interface is disturbed bubbles form, some of oil
some of water .... neither silver interface of bubbles skin or shell is more or less valid as an expression of the same kind of interface as the larger one between the body of oil and main body od water , oil in the
water, and water in the oil.
the contents of the bubbles direct the behavior tword the
ground plane or ether .
she shook the bottle of salad dressing and a foam of bubbles formed...
what I suggest is that this is a model of the interface that
is in fact what reality is except that the oil in the model
is time or eternity or energy or acceleration electrons , or even the big bang itself !, and that the
water in the model is space or infinity or matter or mass.
when in this reality , we see only it , feel only the silver bubbles and not the oil or water that they are made of . the interface happens- between time and space , we are what they share in common , awareness in the silver skin of bubbles of salade dressing , magic is sure to
follow. its between these two that life igsists and all the
activity is an expression of the two natures of the two
dimensions that we cannot see but are clearly expressed every
where you look.
the human body is the mass nature expressed.
its voice says " I survive . I don't like change,I want to
stay the same . I want to sleep in the same bed , eat at
the same time , the same foods ."
what is the body? a collection of devices that have a
measurable volume .... physical relationships of co
dependance
however friendly the organs of the body are to each other
they are individuals operating independently.
the mind is the energy nature expressed.
its voice says " I want to know everything and
anything,without qualification ,exception ,or exclusion.
I want to be affected by everything for its own sake...
taste the new wine, smell clover and roses,lisen to MOZART in
the afternoon and gershwin in the morning"
what is the mind? it is the relationships and connections
between the nerves in the skull and as such is never realy
finished. it is as much the learning that has taken place and
history of memorys it contains as any structure or patterns
that have resulted from the learning. the mind can be said
not to have either a size or volume unless clear instructions
define the intent of the measurement.
will blood and blood products be included, will non nerve
tissue be included, where dose the brain begin [at the
spine, at the brain stem , at the nerve inclusive of all
nervious matter], do you include chemical as well as
electrical
aspects of the brain.
the soul is the interface expressed.
this poor beast is not a player but has a voice that says at
a whisper" who am I. I know who I am,by knowing who I am not.
to find yourself you must loose yourself in the service of
others. seeking god is a selfish act that is noble
and god is the order that is in a way the fabric the soul is made of.....
her eye looked over a glass of wine
and spoke of the soul of man kind .
hammered between the machine intelegance and eternal time.
molded and stressed , beaten and formed.
the maddness of beings stretched and bent on times anvil.
the battle feild casualtys , and scars on the land scape.
humans are the interface between evolutions of mind.
like the wind blown cypress that is bent against the wind and coastline. the bloom of a rose in a moon scape, the phoenix that rises from ash , made pure by flame and hardship . made strong by god and judgement , greater for the struggle of hardship of anothers making .
she and I talked and talked.....she seemed so tired and acheing when we first met.....and she was so alive as she spoke.....I felt my mind swelling with the pictures painted in thinking things.....fancy filling food for thought
what words , what sounds, that fills the fiber of my brains crouded mood towns .....citizens of the streets, and allie ways of phrases ,found in memorys and fantacys places....dreams that feel like yesterday, and waking ways, ways that I have gone today, ways in which I move today......
words I use and missunderstand, sounds I like,sounds I cannot plan.... rush from mouth , and ear fall , crash or land,
words that float, and fly so high, angels seem to ,with them, standby...
great grand philosophys, and conjurings,leave me pondering longingly.... rapture in the cyan sky, tinted lofty clouds painted in dusks red rust dusting .....lust for passions touch...in blue canvas of something up..... walk among the thinking stuff ,a thinking thinkers ,thinking things ,that he thinks when thinking... food for the mind , a minds eye word meal, finding phrases that might feel like something real when words are wraped around the meaning ,and lifes living live shy sigh ,buying emotions devotion in tidal motion of the human ocean , ebb and flowing ....empty lonliness and crush of compromise, flood and flow with words that blow like wind in storms or row the oars against the currents of thoughts and phrases that knowing knowers knew would tumble you an hold you....bind you tie and steal your will to struggle ..... held in confussion till you see they are just like me.... and only their words are faster...no master... just a bit more clever as a word crafter...your mind skips and glides, lifts and rides the stary night sky of dreams and wonder in your mighty heights....silky slip strokes that sip apon your waiting lips...kiss and curess , loving lasting lingering touch , his fingers run over her inner thighs , she sighs wanting , looking deep with in the eyes.....infinity in the black hole of inner desire .....pulling togather romance and the folding arms that wrap around and hold .....the surrender of being bold....and asking for what can't be told........
AAAAaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh..... the maddness and confussion of bliss in knowing all the mind could hold .
the joy in the bringing , and clinging , and holding......
words are not meant for the things I am thinking , words are so happy when they do things for the thinking.... paint in the mind , and fill in the feelings feeling.....
she leaned over the table and kissed me....I like you.....and her words echoed back. what did your time guy tell you about the future she asked?
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Likely Guy, on 27 January 2013 - 03:25 AM, said:
Last night I srink too much Cognac an ze chair hit me in ze head." Black Red Devil
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