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Your 'on line' and 'off line' personality


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#16    Eldorado

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Posted 21 August 2012 - 02:32 PM

What does "off-line" mean?

(Joking)


#17    Mr Right Wing

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Posted 21 August 2012 - 02:58 PM

View PostLilly, on 21 August 2012 - 12:28 PM, said:

1. No, I *feel* very much the same in both mediums. However, I'm more likely to point out my feelings online verses simply keeping my feelings to myself (in real life).
2. I don't function via "programmed responses", I look at each situation on its own merits.
3. Also, I have little desire to be "reprogrammed"...sounds rather sinister actually.

1. If your parents annoy you do you usually get them told or do you tend to pass comments under your breath and be moody?
2. It isnt a criticism of you we all function through programmed responses.
3. An example of a programmed response is someone who as a kid never kept their room tidy and now is a messy adult. If you look back at their childhood you would find one (or both) parents had no respect for the childs personal boundaries. This caused the child to rebel by being messy.

Many programmed responses in life are destructive. Social anxiety, insecurity, shyness, lack of confidence, phobias, agrophobia there is a huge range of programmed responses which arent beneficial for a person to retain. They were all triggered as coping mechanisms to get the sufferer past a disressful situation. A psychologist can reprogram away the destructive responses and replace them with healthier thought patterns.

The ultimate destructive response a huge amount of people have is stage fright. Even that can be got rid off.

Edited by Mr Right Wing, 21 August 2012 - 02:59 PM.


#18    lsra

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Posted 21 August 2012 - 03:05 PM

I have difficulty talking to people I don't know, both online and off. But I am a little more open online.  I think I would still rather observe than participate most of the time though.


#19    rashore

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Posted 21 August 2012 - 03:11 PM

My online and offline are pretty similar. Except swearing, I cuss like a sailor and tend to keep it clean when online.


#20    Lilly

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Posted 21 August 2012 - 03:30 PM

View PostMr Right Wing, on 21 August 2012 - 02:58 PM, said:

1. If your parents annoy you do you usually get them told or do you tend to pass comments under your breath and be moody?

My parents are dead. Back in 'the day' when I was young we just towed the line and respected our parent's wishes.

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2. It isnt a criticism of you we all function through programmed responses.

If you're talking about socialization I tend to agree. However, a great deal of how one chooses to behave is indeed under our control.

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3. An example of a programmed response is someone who as a kid never kept their room tidy and now is a messy adult. If you look back at their childhood you would find one (or both) parents had no respect for the childs personal boundaries. This caused the child to rebel by being messy.

A bit of an over simplification IMO. There could be a variety of reasons why a person would choose to be messy.


Quote


Many programmed responses in life are destructive. Social anxiety, insecurity, shyness, lack of confidence, phobias, agrophobia there is a huge range of programmed responses which arent beneficial for a person to retain. They were all triggered as coping mechanisms to get the sufferer past a disressful situation. A psychologist can reprogram away the destructive responses and replace them with healthier thought patterns.

From what I know I don't think psychologists exactly "reprogram" people? I thought psychologists were supposed to make people understand their behaviour and help them to choose healthier behaviours. The point here being personal choice (verses being programmed).

Edited by Lilly, 21 August 2012 - 03:32 PM.
spelling

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#21    WoIverine

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Posted 21 August 2012 - 06:36 PM

View PostLilly, on 21 August 2012 - 10:07 AM, said:

For awhile I've been thinking about how people's personalities can be very different when they're on line (in discussion forums and chat rooms) verses how they behave in 'real life'. I know that I have marked differences in my personality. In real life I'm far more introverted, less likely to offer my opinion, generally keep to myself (especially in public). However, when offered the anonymity of on line expression I become far more outgoing and willing to engage with others. Does anyone else feel that their personality differs depending upon the medium they are using?

Yeah, totally, I'm similar, but I've been trying to be a lot more social. Awkward silence bugs me though, and I find myself running off at the mouth sometimes.


#22    WoIverine

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Posted 21 August 2012 - 06:38 PM

View PostMr Right Wing, on 21 August 2012 - 02:58 PM, said:

The ultimate destructive response a huge amount of people have is stage fright. Even that can be got rid off.

Had that in speech class until I figured out how to use the 'shot' method. Before every speech, slam a shot of Jager, you'll be fine.

I actually did much better when slightly buzzed. :tu:

Edited by Spid3rCyd3, 21 August 2012 - 06:40 PM.


#23    bLu3 de 3n3rgy

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Posted 21 August 2012 - 09:36 PM

View PostHerNibs, on 21 August 2012 - 01:24 PM, said:

Eh, I'm pretty much the same online and off.  :)  I will say that I think my "personality" doesn't come through online as it doe IRL.  Many times I have to explain (even in a heated debate) that I'm not being snarky or a smartass and am sincerely asking or saying something.  IRL the "tone" comes across better.  :)

I am a goof online and off.  Don't take things personally (98% of the time) and try to NEVER say something hurtful or something I will regret.


Nibs

I thought i was pretty much the same offline and online, but I'm told that my personality doesn't always come through in words. That I am far more goofier offline, less blunt,  and certain endearing quirks to my personality that don't get to shine through with word form that perhaps help soften the bluntness perceived online. But I know in myself that I can be far more intelligible and expressive with my words and emotionally open in written form, but i think that's true for most people because writing makes us process our thoughts. My offline personality is more introverted in that sense.

Although I only really count "online presence" as being email, IM, and forums. I think with skype it takes things back into "offline presence" mode, because all your tones and external expressions can be seen and heard.

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#24    Kazoo

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Posted 21 August 2012 - 09:50 PM

Off line I am more politically correct.  A personality like mine can't really translate to the internet. I'm kind of a quirky person.  Like everyone said my body movements are weird.  One of my teacher's said I reminded her of the original Nutty professor.  I'n real life I'm not really  introverted or extroverted. I kind of just stay quiet but if someone talks to me I don't sound "meek" or anything. I'm pretty loud and friendly. I will easily carry a conversation and make people laugh. I talk very fast.This is all in like the idea situation. I only type like 60 words a minute. I think faster then that so my sentences on the internet are always messed up. Which is why I edit alot. Some of my friends say I  have conversations with myself that are directed at other people. Just imagine all the edits I made in a post. But I'm saying out loud really fast to someone. I really can go on forever if I have too.

Is it just me or do the sentences in this paragraph don't really translate well. I am terrible at organizing thoughts. My thoughts are the same way in real life. I am terrible as changing topics skillfully or translating to different subjects. Unless I put lots of conscience thought into it.

I usually come to the internet when I'm annoyed or unhappy. Because the internet always has funny cat meme's and discussions to distract me.

I'm also really terrible at internet jokes. I can never make anyone laugh over the internet. So I come off as rigid.

Edited by Kazoo, 21 August 2012 - 09:59 PM.

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#25    WoIverine

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Posted 21 August 2012 - 10:02 PM

View PostKazoo, on 21 August 2012 - 09:50 PM, said:

Off line I am more politically correct.  A personality like mine can't really translate to the internet. I'm kind of a quirky person.  Like everyone said my body movements are weird.  One of my teacher's said I reminded her of the original Nutty professor.  I'n real life I'm not really  introverted or extroverted. I kind of just stay quiet but if someone talks to me I don't sound "meek" or anything. I'm pretty loud and friendly. I will easily carry a conversation and make people laugh. I talk very fast.This is all in like the idea situation. I only type like 60 words a minute. I think faster then that so my sentences on the internet are always messed up. Which is why I edit alot. Some of my friends say I  have conversations with myself that are directed at other people. Just imagine all the edits I made in a post. But I'm saying out loud really fast to someone. I really can go on forever if I have too.

Is it just me or do the sentences in this paragraph don't really translate well. I am terrible at organizing thoughts. My thoughts are the same way in real life. I am terrible as changing topics skillfully or translating to different subjects. Unless I put lots of conscience thought into it.

I usually come to the internet when I'm annoyed or unhappy. Because the internet always has funny cat meme's and discussions to distract me.

I'm also really terrible at internet jokes. I can never make anyone laugh over the internet. So I come off as rigid.

You seem alright to me man, I didn't have any trouble following along. I edit almost every post as well, so no worries there. Except my editing comes from trying to rephrase everything I say so that what I'm actually saying is correct and not a convoluted mess of random thoughts, I do that sometimes.  :blink:

Edited by Spid3rCyd3, 21 August 2012 - 10:06 PM.


#26    bLu3 de 3n3rgy

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Posted 21 August 2012 - 10:18 PM

View PostKazoo, on 21 August 2012 - 09:50 PM, said:

I usually come to the internet when I'm annoyed or unhappy. Because the internet always has funny cat meme's and discussions to distract me.

I'm also really terrible at internet jokes. I can never make anyone laugh over the internet. So I come off as rigid.

Maybe intention for using the internet plays into it as well. I find this statement interesting because other than my education, social and metaphysical interests, I use the internet entirely for informing myself and helping others. I take some sort of role in everything i choose to participate in online. For example at this forum I am a moderator helping to maintain a community, but my original intentions for joining this community was to help people and I still do that.

When i am annoyed or unhappy I get off the internet,  I absolutely can't stand it or feeling that net rage from others.

It makes me far worse and drained to sense all that when i am too feeling down.  Too many people imo use the internet to destress on and have no problems acting like first class A holes because they have this sense of anonymity. It's all an illusion to think one can escape from oneself on the internet, and unleash all manner of vile emotions on others. You can't really get away with it. But then again I come from a empathetic perspective that energy exchanges exists between everyone even on the internet, so log into that "energetic mass consciousness" and to abuse it and others on it, is essentially to abuse yourself. The measure of behaviour is all in how self aware one is, even on the thought level. The less self aware fall into the illusive trap that anonymity from self and others actually exists lol.

All this has to have some impact on peoples online personalities. BTW I am not saying at all that you use the internet to de anger on, i think it's good and healthy for you if you have certain things that make you laugh and turn your mood around online. The reference is to people de stressing and taking their anger out on others online because they can, was about a general problem that the internet unfortunately is misused for.

Edited by bLu3 de 3n3rgy, 21 August 2012 - 10:20 PM.

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#27    Michelle

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Posted 21 August 2012 - 10:53 PM

I'm very spontaneous, quirky and animated in real life, which doesn't translate well over the internet and why I tend to use a lot of smileys. :su  Other than that I'm almost exactly the same. When I have something to say it's always short and to the point. One of the main reasons for that is because in real life it's difficult for me to get a word in edgewise from everyone else running off at the mouth. It's a good thing my face can say a thousand words. :P  It also makes me a terrible liar, even when it's just for a nice surprise. I hate worse than anything to be caught in a lie so I just don't do it. I love to tease people a little so when I "get someone" I'll wink at them to let them know it's all in good fun.

Occasionally the negativity of people on the internet, and their enjoyment of confrontations, will start to bring me down when I just want to read about what's going on and see what other people are thinking. I do not tolerate drama queens, in real life, whose lives are in constant turmoil and I won't do it here. Life is too short to put up with people who are constantly trying to bring you down with them.


#28    Professor T

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Posted 21 August 2012 - 11:09 PM

I guess I'm about the same but perhaps a bit more serious and thoughtfull online. Offline I joke about just about everything & go out of my way to have a bit on fun. It's harder to do that online because the written word is quite emotionless and jokes can be so easily mis-read as fact. Crikey, if I wrote the same way I talked & re-acted to friends people would think I'm a nutcase!


#29    Junior Chubb

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Posted 21 August 2012 - 11:31 PM

I feel we are all different on-line to off-line, especially when discussing in a thread...

When on-line we can be more educated with our responses (with the web at your fingertips), also more calculated. The time delay with an on-line conversation definitely effects the way people interact. When speaking face to face in discussion we do not get the chance to review our statements before they leave our mouths, we can think things through but that is not the same re-reading a post before clicking the post button. Well this applies to most of us, some people clearly do not take advantage of this when posting...

Quoting exactly what others have said before you (without relying on memory) also changes the way you can shape an answer, also with text having 'no tone' you can react differently to a statement read on-line than in an oral conversation. It is also a lot easier to be rude to or challenge to somebody you know you will never meet face to face. Humour also seems to work differently on-line a lot of the time.

Some people might manage to be the same on-line as off-line but for most of us this just is not the case. A bit like when you are drunk, we may think we are the same but in reality there is a difference...

Edited by Junior Chubb, 21 August 2012 - 11:33 PM.

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#30    Sherapy

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Posted 21 August 2012 - 11:47 PM

I do not think that who I am online versus who I am offline is the same; I do not think it can be for me. Online is limited in ways offline is not. Offline there will be the benefit and give and take  of interpersonal  interactions  that comes with getting to know others. I do think the internet can be  a launching pad  for potential friendships, but it's in meeting and talking, spending time together that furthers the bond for me. I have cultivated friendships  that have started online and am grateful for them. The interesting thing is their online persona is not like who they are in real life.







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