Paranoia Dreams

[TheBloom]

I know there are many topics on dreams I just wanted to add my own as it's quite personal and not as broad as some of the other topics that I'm viewing.

I suspect this is the correct forum for this as it's a mystery of mind, especially to me. This is certainly nothing paranormal, but it does cause me some distress and it would be interesting and beneficial to me to hear the forums opinions on this subject.

I've been plagued by disturbing dreams for years however, they've never been anything that's affected my life. The dreams have always been completely unrelated to the world I live in. But recently they've begun to take on more of a personal approach in what they represent when I'm asleep.

I will start by telling you a little bit about the current situation in my life. Please understand this is quite an open thing for a person to do and I would appreciate personal opinions on certain matters to be expressed in a respectful way. I realise that whatever I type here is completely open for debate and that allowing part of the internet into certain areas of my personal life is my own decision and I am responsible for the responses I get but as a friend of this forum please appreciate my feelings.

A year and a half ago I was diagnosed with Bipolar Type 2. For those of you who are unaware of this disorder and what it entails I will just add a little bit about it so there are no misunderstandings

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_disorder

Bipolar disorder is not a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders defined by the presence of one or more episodes of abnormally elevated mood, clinically referred to as mania. Individuals who experience manic episodes also commonly experience depressive episodes or symptoms, or mixed episodes which present with features of both mania and depression. These episodes are normally separated by periods of normal mood, but in some patients, depression and mania may rapidly alternate, known as rapid cycling. The disorder has been subdivided into bipolar I, bipolar II and cyclothymia based on the type and severity of mood episodes experienced.

Also called bipolar affective disorder until recently, the current name is of fairly recent origin and refers to the cycling between high and low episodes; it has replaced the older term manic-depressive illness coined by Emil Kraepelin (1856-1926) in the late nineteenth century. The new term is designed to be neutral, to avoid the stigma in the non-mental health community that comes from conflating "manic" and "depression."

If you're interested in the diagnostic criteria for Bipolar Type 2 please refer to this website: http://www.mentalhealth.com/dis1/p21-md05.html

For the record I am currently on medication and I'm feeling much better I still have trouble but at least I can get on with life!

I've had a few disastrously failed relationships, the only consistent feature in my life of those is me. I've had abusive relationships in the past. Two violent and many emotional. 6 months ago I met my current partner.

What a wonderful change that was. He's never blamed me for anything, never guilted me into anything, never pushed me, always believed in me, and has treated me like I deserve to be treated, as I do to him. My knight in shining Armour as it were.

Enough of the sappy part of this post, and onto the 'problem'

For the past 6 months I've been experiencing dreams that represent my partner in a completely different light. In life he is kind and loving. In my dreams he is the complete opposite.

In some dreams he's cheated on me, left me, claimed he doesn't care about whatever it is I'm talking about, claimed he's lying when he says 'i love you' and just been a general a-hole.

The most disturbing part of this is I wake up thinking it's real and it takes me a few minutes to realise what's going on and that it's just a dream.

The problem is that it's starting to affect the way I interact with him too. I appear (or so I think I do) more temperamental, less open to compromising on things and cold towards any expression of support he gives to me when I'm down.

If this carries on it will drastically affect my relationship and will (in my opinion) lead to it ending. Although he is determined not to let that happen.

I have little doubt in suggesting that the nature of these dreams are greatly effected by my past. The way my partner is represented in my dreams is exactly how I've been treated in the past by previous partners.

My real life partner doesn't display any features of my past partners so I think that my dreams are playing on the fact that I fear that he will begin to act like previous partners even though that is only a deep seeded fear and I don't suspect any changes in him.

In order to back this post up a little more I have had him sit with me while I've typed this out. It's taken me about an hour to get this post down on the forum how it is in my head. When your mind thinks like mine does it can be difficult to put it into logical ramble. Sometimes you need a second opinion before hitting 'submit'.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and I would very much appreciate your input as this is something which is greatly affecting my wellbeing

Randi x

Edited March 28, 2008 by DukeofNoodleness

[eight bits]

Dreams are thoughts, Randi, not messages nor revelations.

What do we ever think about, awake or asleep, except possibilities that might affect our well-being, broadly conceived? If all goes well, then we think of different possibilities at different times, not the same possibilities over and over again, all the time.

Recognizable people who show up in anybody's dreams very often do so acting or appearing very differently than the same people act or appear in waking life. We've already thought about them in waking life. What's left to think about them? That they might be different than how we think of them in waking life.

Waking life is one long shunting aside of possibilities. You could not cross the street if you fully thought about the real, but unlikely, possibilities of what could happen to you instead of reaching the other side. Things like that actually do happen to some people.

And if one of those is patched up, sent on her way, and now comes time to cross another street, what then? Well, she crosses anyway, doesn't she? But the possibilities are the same for her as for everyone else. Want to guess what she dreams about?

But so does everyone else from time to time, because they know the possibilities, and haven't thought them through. She is more apt to relate her dream to something in her past, and because of her past, she might come up with more realistic imagery, and so more "convincing" imagery. But her dreams really aren't different in kind from anybody else's.

Good for you that you talk this over with your partner, good for him that he apparently doesn't confuse what is universal in human experience with what is particular, and so doesn't take this personally in any bad way.

Edited March 28, 2008 by eight bits

[Showgirl]

I know there are many topics on dreams I just wanted to add my own as it's quite personal and not as broad as some of the other topics that I'm viewing.

I suspect this is the correct forum for this as it's a mystery of mind, especially to me. This is certainly nothing paranormal, but it does cause me some distress and it would be interesting and beneficial to me to hear the forums opinions on this subject.

I've been plagued by disturbing dreams for years however, they've never been anything that's affected my life. The dreams have always been completely unrelated to the world I live in. But recently they've begun to take on more of a personal approach in what they represent when I'm asleep.

I will start by telling you a little bit about the current situation in my life. Please understand this is quite an open thing for a person to do and I would appreciate personal opinions on certain matters to be expressed in a respectful way. I realise that whatever I type here is completely open for debate and that allowing part of the internet into certain areas of my personal life is my own decision and I am responsible for the responses I get but as a friend of this forum please appreciate my feelings.

A year and a half ago I was diagnosed with Bipolar Type 2. For those of you who are unaware of this disorder and what it entails I will just add a little bit about it so there are no misunderstandings

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_disorder

If you're interested in the diagnostic criteria for Bipolar Type 2 please refer to this website: http://www.mentalhealth.com/dis1/p21-md05.html

For the record I am currently on medication and I'm feeling much better I still have trouble but at least I can get on with life!

I've had a few disastrously failed relationships, the only consistent feature in my life of those is me. I've had abusive relationships in the past. Two violent and many emotional. 6 months ago I met my current partner.

What a wonderful change that was. He's never blamed me for anything, never guilted me into anything, never pushed me, always believed in me, and has treated me like I deserve to be treated, as I do to him. My knight in shining Armour as it were.

Enough of the sappy part of this post, and onto the 'problem'

For the past 6 months I've been experiencing dreams that represent my partner in a completely different light. In life he is kind and loving. In my dreams he is the complete opposite.

In some dreams he's cheated on me, left me, claimed he doesn't care about whatever it is I'm talking about, claimed he's lying when he says 'i love you' and just been a general a-hole.

The most disturbing part of this is I wake up thinking it's real and it takes me a few minutes to realise what's going on and that it's just a dream.

The problem is that it's starting to affect the way I interact with him too. I appear (or so I think I do) more temperamental, less open to compromising on things and cold towards any expression of support he gives to me when I'm down.

If this carries on it will drastically affect my relationship and will (in my opinion) lead to it ending. Although he is determined not to let that happen.

I have little doubt in suggesting that the nature of these dreams are greatly effected by my past. The way my partner is represented in my dreams is exactly how I've been treated in the past by previous partners.

My real life partner doesn't display any features of my past partners so I think that my dreams are playing on the fact that I fear that he will begin to act like previous partners even though that is only a deep seeded fear and I don't suspect any changes in him.

In order to back this post up a little more I have had him sit with me while I've typed this out. It's taken me about an hour to get this post down on the forum how it is in my head. When your mind thinks like mine does it can be difficult to put it into logical ramble. Sometimes you need a second opinion before hitting 'submit'.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and I would very much appreciate your input as this is something which is greatly affecting my wellbeing

Randi x

WOW !! oh my god bird.. god do u really love him or what ? i haint never seen love like this since dont know when... what u've been through, what u fought, what u survived.. well give te fella a kiss from me mmwahh !! wow, he don't deserve u...

..an thats what ur dreaming mind is telling u. but guess what, i think he does, and i think u deserve him too. dont u think its about time u let urself have some happiness .

Min x

[Radian]

I had a dream last night that a black dog caught my rabbit and killed him... believe me.. I'm watching him closer than ever right now.. it would devastate me if something happened like that to him. Here's a picture..

I have three Rotts, but they all get along with him, this dog came from somewhere else. :/

Edited March 30, 2008 by Shankpin

[John from Lowell]

Hi Randi,

The feeling I get is that your dreams represent what you are fearful about. These subconscious concerns are very understandable. Talking to your inner child about these feelings may help.

John

[TheBloom]

Dreams are thoughts, Randi, not messages nor revelations.

What do we ever think about, awake or asleep, except possibilities that might affect our well-being, broadly conceived? If all goes well, then we think of different possibilities at different times, not the same possibilities over and over again, all the time.

Recognizable people who show up in anybody's dreams very often do so acting or appearing very differently than the same people act or appear in waking life. We've already thought about them in waking life. What's left to think about them? That they might be different than how we think of them in waking life.

Waking life is one long shunting aside of possibilities. You could not cross the street if you fully thought about the real, but unlikely, possibilities of what could happen to you instead of reaching the other side. Things like that actually do happen to some people.

And if one of those is patched up, sent on her way, and now comes time to cross another street, what then? Well, she crosses anyway, doesn't she? But the possibilities are the same for her as for everyone else. Want to guess what she dreams about?

But so does everyone else from time to time, because they know the possibilities, and haven't thought them through. She is more apt to relate her dream to something in her past, and because of her past, she might come up with more realistic imagery, and so more "convincing" imagery. But her dreams really aren't different in kind from anybody else's.

Good for you that you talk this over with your partner, good for him that he apparently doesn't confuse what is universal in human experience with what is particular, and so doesn't take this personally in any bad way.

I'm lucky to have such an understanding partner. Even I would have difficulty if he was dreaming about me in the light of his ex's. It's difficult. But he's determined! And so am I

WOW !! oh my god bird.. god do u really love him or what ? i haint never seen love like this since dont know when... what u've been through, what u fought, what u survived.. well give te fella a kiss from me mmwahh !! wow, he don't deserve u...

..an thats what ur dreaming mind is telling u. but guess what, i think he does, and i think u deserve him too. dont u think its about time u let urself have some happiness .

Min x

Aww Min. You are too sweet! He has been such an inspiration to me. And he's always believed in me, and wanted me to do whatever makes me happy. I have a long life dream to move to asia. His answer was 'I will support you and when you've settled, follow you'. Despite his generosity I couldn't leave him for asia. Not unless he joined me

When he first asked me out I kept saying no, and because he was a friend I had previously explained to him that I was sick of being treated like sh**, and that I didn't want to open myself to anything just yet. He never let me go but nor did he push me to go out with him. He just respected my wish but never let me think that he'd lost interest. He showed me that I was deserving of happiness and eventually I gave into him. Was the best thing I've ever done

Actually he's a new member of this forum: The-Sherlock

I had a dream last night that a black dog caught my rabbit and killed him... believe me.. I'm watching him closer than ever right now.. it would devastate me if something happened like that to him. Here's a picture..

I have three Rotts, but they all get along with him, this dog came from somewhere else. :/

So cute!! Can you not keep him in the house if you're frightened of dogs?

Hi Randi,

The feeling I get is that your dreams represent what you are fearful about. These subconscious concerns are very understandable. Talking to your inner child about these feelings may help.

John

Thank You, John. You've definitely echoed my feelings on the dreams.

Edited March 30, 2008 by DukeofNoodleness

[slashiroth]

have you told him about these dreams? if you haven't then you may want to because he would probably think your a tad insane

[War Eagle]

Always thought Paranoia 'Dreams' (sub-conscience) were just a sign of a guilty conscience?...

Edited March 30, 2008 by REBEL

[Invader Skoodge]

Maybe deep down in your subconscious you believe that you're not deserving of a nice and caring partner. It's not uncommon for people who were treated badly to internalize this idea. You could try this:

Test Your Subconscious Beliefs - http://psych-k.com/tyb/index_tyb.php

[TheBloom]

have you told him about these dreams? if you haven't then you may want to because he would probably think your a tad insane

Don't think I'm being rude but if you read my post you'll see that I said I've talked it over with him, and also that he was there with me as I wrote out that entire post He's very supportive, loving, caring and certainly doesn't think I'm insane! I know I'm not insane That's taking it a step too far.

Always thought Paranoia 'Dreams' (sub-conscience) were just a sign of a guilty conscience?...

No. I've never had dreams when guilty about something. Apart from the fact I would never lie to a partner. Never have done, either.

Maybe deep down in your subconscious you believe that you're not deserving of a nice and caring partner. It's not uncommon for people who were treated badly to internalize this idea. You could try this:

Test Your Subconscious Beliefs - http://psych-k.com/tyb/index_tyb.php

Possibly. Whenever I think of this theory though I firmly believe that I'm deserving of love and beauty like everyone else. I don't believe I'm undeserving, nor do I believe I deserve more than anyone else.

I will try this though, I'm not sure if I trust it but it certainly seems interesting!

The thing about me that people who knw me find is that I'm very honest, and rarely will I lie to someone. I may hide me feelings from time to time, but that's not lying.

P.S. HURRAY! For 1000 posts

Edited April 1, 2008 by DukeofNoodleness

[The Sherlock]

Thanks for your responses everyone. They have been helpful and there have been some good replies in this thread which are similar to what I beleive these dreams represent.

For those who didnt figure it out from Noodles' first reply in this thread, I am her boyfriend.

Personally, I think these dreams are playing on what she fears in the relationship. Her subconcious influencing her dream based on her experiences of relationships in the past. Her past relationships have been far from perfect. But we have a good thing going here, we both love and care for each other and would never hurt each other.

The dreams are playing on the fears that what she loves most will end up hurting her as others have done in the past and this is what her dreams are picking up on when she dreams about me acting in a way her exes have.

Everybody has bad dreams about the things they fear, the only problem here is that Randi has these dreams most nights. I dont think thats normal is it? Ive heard of recurring dreams, but not on consecutive nights like this. It may be magnified by the bipolar depression? I dont know.

Now, I know the difference between what she thinks and what are just dreams. I dont confuse her dream with what she actually thinks about me. Afterall, they are just dreams. She doesnt actually expect me to start acting like the man in her dreams does. Though the man in her dreams may look and sound like me, he isnt me. He is a mixture of the personalities of her exes, put into my image because she subconscioulsly fears another bad relationship. And I beleive that the way to make these dreams stop is the show through my actions that I love her and I am not this man in the dreams. And would never act in such a terrible way towards her. And I know she loves me too. So I will continue to love and support her.

Usually women have a man in real life but secretly want the man of thier dreams. I think this case is the opposite. Heh.

[Radian]

So cute!! Can you not keep him in the house if you're frightened of dogs?

Actually he is a house rabbit.. (house trained), but also he has a nice size dog kennel that he stays in sometimes too.

[Leonardo]

Noodles (if I might borrow the nickname from your boyfriend ) and Sherlock,

Great posts and I suspect, Sherlock, you have it fairly well spot on. Noodles, your dreams do reflect your fears. It's not that you don't believe you are deserving of this wonderful relationship, as you so obviously are. It's because the relationship is so wonderful that you are experiencing these dreams. We all fear to fall in love - even if that fear is just a little one. Your experiences of past relationships are colouring those fears and these thoughts/memories are surfacing in your dreams.

This is nothing to be overly concerned about and it might even be beneficial to 'work' these past relationships out of your system in the dreams and through talking with Sherlock. Just remember he is not those past partners, even if you can't help comparing some situations with what has happened in the past.

Anyway, you both seem very happy together in love. I wish you both all the best...You crazy kids!!!!