I suspect this is the correct forum for this as it's a mystery of mind, especially to me. This is certainly nothing paranormal, but it does cause me some distress and it would be interesting and beneficial to me to hear the forums opinions on this subject.
I've been plagued by disturbing dreams for years however, they've never been anything that's affected my life. The dreams have always been completely unrelated to the world I live in. But recently they've begun to take on more of a personal approach in what they represent when I'm asleep.
I will start by telling you a little bit about the current situation in my life. Please understand this is quite an open thing for a person to do and I would appreciate personal opinions on certain matters to be expressed in a respectful way. I realise that whatever I type here is completely open for debate and that allowing part of the internet into certain areas of my personal life is my own decision and I am responsible for the responses I get but as a friend of this forum please appreciate my feelings.
A year and a half ago I was diagnosed with Bipolar Type 2. For those of you who are unaware of this disorder and what it entails I will just add a little bit about it so there are no misunderstandings
Also called bipolar affective disorder until recently, the current name is of fairly recent origin and refers to the cycling between high and low episodes; it has replaced the older term manic-depressive illness coined by Emil Kraepelin (1856-1926) in the late nineteenth century. The new term is designed to be neutral, to avoid the stigma in the non-mental health community that comes from conflating "manic" and "depression."
If you're interested in the diagnostic criteria for Bipolar Type 2 please refer to this website: http://www.mentalhealth.com/dis1/p21-md05.html
For the record I am currently on medication and I'm feeling much better I still have trouble but at least I can get on with life!
I've had a few disastrously failed relationships, the only consistent feature in my life of those is me. I've had abusive relationships in the past. Two violent and many emotional. 6 months ago I met my current partner.
What a wonderful change that was. He's never blamed me for anything, never guilted me into anything, never pushed me, always believed in me, and has treated me like I deserve to be treated, as I do to him. My knight in shining Armour as it were.
Enough of the sappy part of this post, and onto the 'problem'
For the past 6 months I've been experiencing dreams that represent my partner in a completely different light. In life he is kind and loving. In my dreams he is the complete opposite.
In some dreams he's cheated on me, left me, claimed he doesn't care about whatever it is I'm talking about, claimed he's lying when he says 'i love you' and just been a general a-hole.
The most disturbing part of this is I wake up thinking it's real and it takes me a few minutes to realise what's going on and that it's just a dream.
The problem is that it's starting to affect the way I interact with him too. I appear (or so I think I do) more temperamental, less open to compromising on things and cold towards any expression of support he gives to me when I'm down.
If this carries on it will drastically affect my relationship and will (in my opinion) lead to it ending. Although he is determined not to let that happen.
I have little doubt in suggesting that the nature of these dreams are greatly effected by my past. The way my partner is represented in my dreams is exactly how I've been treated in the past by previous partners.
My real life partner doesn't display any features of my past partners so I think that my dreams are playing on the fact that I fear that he will begin to act like previous partners even though that is only a deep seeded fear and I don't suspect any changes in him.
In order to back this post up a little more I have had him sit with me while I've typed this out. It's taken me about an hour to get this post down on the forum how it is in my head. When your mind thinks like mine does it can be difficult to put it into logical ramble. Sometimes you need a second opinion before hitting 'submit'.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and I would very much appreciate your input as this is something which is greatly affecting my wellbeing
Edited by DukeofNoodleness, 28 March 2008 - 04:00 PM.