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Galahad

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Hi,

I have decided to join this forum to engage in open conversation on a range of subjects. I have enjoyed following the forum for sometime, and have reviewed many threads with great interest.

Warm Regards.

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Welcome, :tu:

Edited by Talion
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Welcome to UM Galahad... (dang another lurker escapes from the dungeon!)

I am the unofficial (and largely undesired) Mooster of Ceremonies and I am here to ease your entry into this forum...

Since you are now no longer a "Lurker", please leave your Official UM Lurker's Trench coat, fedora and dark glasses, along with any keys, on the rickety old table just outside your dank, moldy oubliette, ...

Please report to the Grand Inquisitor's Office at the Main Compound to turn in your old straw bedding and any fleas that you might have picked up - after a complete inventory of course... You will be

charged for any of those feisty fellows that escape, so please make certain to bring your hand receipts with you... Don't worry about drying out your old straw bedding, as damp, mucky straw stores

better than clean new straw does...

Now that you are a member of this esteemed Site, and no longer subject to random floggings and torture interviews, you will find you have much more time on your hands than while you were a lurker...

There are many ways here that you can fill those empty hours... Here are a few examples:

- You can volunteer your time and services with the Grand Inquisitors office... Good boot-lickers, minions and lackeys are always in demand and abject groveling faithful service is almost always well rewarded....

- You could also choose to assist our pleasant and courteous staff of Floggers and Dungeon Henchmen, in their many duties... Since you have only recently escaped graduated from the Lurkers Dungeon, your

personal experience insights into effective torture interviewing Lurkers would be most welcome....

- If you would rather work in the Great outdoors, you are in luck! The UM Compound is vast (and growing), and offers many opportunities to luxuriate in the open spaces, while you slave away cheerfully apply

your efforts to improving our glorious compound... You might find yourself overseeing a large force of Zombies day laborers as they expand and improve our vast and well tended fields of thistles, thorns, tumbleweeds

and poison ivy... Or you may bend your valuable efforts to improving one of our belts of mine fields and razor wire border regions which we share with our trusted and friendly neighbors... If forests are "your thing", look

no further than our Forestry Service, which oversees both the "Great Old Creepy Wood" and the aptly named "Dismal Forest"... you could soon be whistling merrily while blazing nature trails and fighting off large un-natural creatures

interacting with nature... Yes, the short terror filled life of a grounds keeper is an exciting thing!

- UM Imports a vast number of pizza's from the neighboring Empire of Mooselandia (It's number two export after high grade industrial slime) and there is always a demand for the job of Pizza Delivery Gnomes... For some

reason, despite the high pay, and opportunity to travel out over the Grand Outer Moat, there is a high turn over in this vital career field... While we are on this subject, the highest paid job offering for a gullible newly acquired member is that of

keeper for Pookie the Moat monster - who dwells in the Grand Outer Moat... Other than the high wages, the job perks also include, free emergency medical care, discount artificial limbs and a free memorial marker stone...

There are many more opportunities here, for a good hard working person, like Zombie Master, Bigfoot herder, Automatic UFO Wash and Wax attendant, Badger Wrangler and Scum spreader.

So grab an official job application form, fill it out (in ancient Hittite of course), turn it in at the nearest Office of the Grand Inquisitor and after the long and torturous interview process, you can start your

New career here at UM!

Welcome aboard!

(note: the above is satire, and does not reflect the views or opinions of ... virtually anyone really)

Edited by Taun
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That's very nice...to receive such a welcome. My ancient Hittite is pretty rusty.. But I'm keen for work.

Warm Regards to UM and its members.

Thank you.

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Hi there! Welcome to UM! I'm Woodsbooger, might I offer you something sweet with absolutely no nutrional value?!?! Such as cotton candy?!?!?!????

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Welcome to UM Galahad, as a new member myself, I can tell you it's a great place to be.

I am very impressed with the activity and international members.

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Cotton Candy! Yum.. We call that Fairy Floss in Aus, but I spent some time in the New York when I was younger, Nice to meet you Woodsbooger.

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Welcome to UM Galahad, as a new member myself, I can tell you it's a great place to be.

I am very impressed with the activity and international members.

its a cool place!

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It never fails the Mooster forgets and I think on purpose to mention the free coffee and cookies...the oatmeal cookies with raisins should be avoided like the plague since no one has figured what the raisins really are!! The chocolate chip cookies are suspect also so just pick out a cookie that's not moving on the plate.. I feel you will fit in just fine since you are from the lukers Union...

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I didn't mention the cookies, because (urp) there aren't any....

Hence the offer of Cotton Candy..it seems all the rest of the sweets mysteriously disappeared. Ahem. :blush::huh::unsure:

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I didn't mention the cookies, because (urp) there aren't any....

Oh not again did you eat all of the sugar, Oreos, lemon drops, cherry filled, fig bars and everything else???? Me thinks your antlers will fall off one day... What did you do with the 138 gallon pot of coffee.....

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Can I help it if I'm a growin' moose?... Takes a lot of calories to just sit around and surf the web all day... (In case my boss is reading this... I'm prepared to swear under oath that I never wrote this!)...

And I don't drink coffee.... But I gotta wash my socks in something don't I?

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I had no idea that Moose wore socks!! Then again I really don't know that many Moose's...The coffee sucks anyway and I hope your socks come out OK....

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Well... They kinda smell like coffee beans, but the brown color goes well with my hide - so it's all good....

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Welcome to UM. I hope you enjoy yourself here.

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