My journey so far... Psychic or disillusioned

[oneofus]

My "spiritual journey" properly kicked started at the turn of 2011, having been brought up in a Catholic house hold, went to a catholic school I quickly lost faith in Religion as I felt little connection with religion and the only connection was that of fear in case the God is real. However coming around Christmas time 2011 I started taking a deep interest in spiritually after which a whole lot of synchronistic and "weird" events started happening.

The first thing I realised was that I started spending a lot more time out doors, contemplating ideas and actions, the interactions of life and just enjoying being out in nature. There was this persistent feeling inside that just craved for the truth and "empowerment". People would start to speak my mind (ie my friend would say something a split second after i'd thought it, whether this was my initial thought or me picking up on theirs I don't know) but events like these started happening more on more until it was on a daily basis. Then one day, I was on my computer doing research online on spirituality but there was something different, I had this feeling inside that my computer was going to get hacked/break soon so instead of saving the information digitally I started writing everything down. Around 2-3 hours later out of know where I typed "light body activation" into google just to find more on the topic and my computer completely shut down and refused to turn on after that. Little to say I was in shock, I stared at my computer in disbelief for a couple of minutes and then thought I'd look around my house to see if I can find any information or if there are any books related to "spirituality". I then found an amazing book which no one in my house had seen and had no recollection buying, it was a book called abide ye in my love and it seems to talk about the brotherhood of man and talks about the spiritual path. I still to this day have no explanation as to how this book was in my house.

After I started reading the book these events started escalating. I also started meditating, during meditation even though I have my eyes closed after a while the background colour I could see would change and at times I could change it at will, other times weird changing "electric coloured" shapes would appear in front of me and move around sometimes resembling what appeared to be dna helix's. As well as the visuals during meditation three times Ive had what could be called hallucinations or seeing things differently whichever you want to call it. I was in my local park looking at nature and i started concentrating on all the different colours and reflections of light, and after a while its as if I tuned into a different form of vision, ( a bit like blurring your eyes but constant and not stressing your eye muscles) shapes became less distinctive but everything became light instead particles instead. A different time there was a boat on a river but I couldnt see the bottom half of it as there was a wall in the way, as I concentrated I could see "through the wall" again whether I actually saw through the wall or my imagination filled in the gaps I do not know but I clearly saw the rest of the boat and water through the wall. There was also one other time that I saw things which werent there and this was the weirdest.

Along with this the strangest event imo was random lights turning either on or off around me. This happened nearly everyday for over 3 months alot of the time and I always (half as a joke) told myself that one day I'll randomly turn off a whole set of lights...Well the last time this happened I did. Again I'm not saying this was me but the coincidence is a bit too much. I was outside a busy train station waiting for two of my friends to arrive, as I waited I observed all the people living their lives rushing out from a to b and continuing the rat race. As I looked I thought to myself, if there is a God or some sort of greater entity which created all of this how would it view all these people despite what we might view as their wrong doings or negative actions and I just felt complete empathy towards everyone and right that second every single light in the station turned off. It appeared that they received some sort of powercut.

I havent really developed any ability I could control, the closest I came to this is doing a little test whilst playing Fifa, I started tracking my track record for saving penalties, and there is a feeling about a certain direction and whenever I go with that feeling I would save the penalty. The feeling is not always completely clear to me but I did a test and ended up saving 26 out 30 penalties.

However since the train station incident every thing has stopped. Ive found it extremely hard to balance "reality" with spiritualism and have pretty much stopped with spirituality altogether although I do think about it from time to time. I am still skeptical to this day about what has been happening, am I going insane or this actually something genuine???

[White Crane Feather]

My "spiritual journey" properly kicked started at the turn of 2011, having been brought up in a Catholic house hold, went to a catholic school I quickly lost faith in Religion as I felt little connection with religion and the only connection was that of fear in case the God is real. However coming around Christmas time 2011 I started taking a deep interest in spiritually after which a whole lot of synchronistic and "weird" events started happening.

The first thing I realised was that I started spending a lot more time out doors, contemplating ideas and actions, the interactions of life and just enjoying being out in nature. There was this persistent feeling inside that just craved for the truth and "empowerment". People would start to speak my mind (ie my friend would say something a split second after i'd thought it, whether this was my initial thought or me picking up on theirs I don't know) but events like these started happening more on more until it was on a daily basis. Then one day, I was on my computer doing research online on spirituality but there was something different, I had this feeling inside that my computer was going to get hacked/break soon so instead of saving the information digitally I started writing everything down. Around 2-3 hours later out of know where I typed "light body activation" into google just to find more on the topic and my computer completely shut down and refused to turn on after that. Little to say I was in shock, I stared at my computer in disbelief for a couple of minutes and then thought I'd look around my house to see if I can find any information or if there are any books related to "spirituality". I then found an amazing book which no one in my house had seen and had no recollection buying, it was a book called abide ye in my love and it seems to talk about the brotherhood of man and talks about the spiritual path. I still to this day have no explanation as to how this book was in my house.

After I started reading the book these events started escalating. I also started meditating, during meditation even though I have my eyes closed after a while the background colour I could see would change and at times I could change it at will, other times weird changing "electric coloured" shapes would appear in front of me and move around sometimes resembling what appeared to be dna helix's. As well as the visuals during meditation three times Ive had what could be called hallucinations or seeing things differently whichever you want to call it. I was in my local park looking at nature and i started concentrating on all the different colours and reflections of light, and after a while its as if I tuned into a different form of vision, ( a bit like blurring your eyes but constant and not stressing your eye muscles) shapes became less distinctive but everything became light instead particles instead. A different time there was a boat on a river but I couldnt see the bottom half of it as there was a wall in the way, as I concentrated I could see "through the wall" again whether I actually saw through the wall or my imagination filled in the gaps I do not know but I clearly saw the rest of the boat and water through the wall. There was also one other time that I saw things which werent there and this was the weirdest.

Along with this the strangest event imo was random lights turning either on or off around me. This happened nearly everyday for over 3 months alot of the time and I always (half as a joke) told myself that one day I'll randomly turn off a whole set of lights...Well the last time this happened I did. Again I'm not saying this was me but the coincidence is a bit too much. I was outside a busy train station waiting for two of my friends to arrive, as I waited I observed all the people living their lives rushing out from a to b and continuing the rat race. As I looked I thought to myself, if there is a God or some sort of greater entity which created all of this how would it view all these people despite what we might view as their wrong doings or negative actions and I just felt complete empathy towards everyone and right that second every single light in the station turned off. It appeared that they received some sort of powercut.

I havent really developed any ability I could control, the closest I came to this is doing a little test whilst playing Fifa, I started tracking my track record for saving penalties, and there is a feeling about a certain direction and whenever I go with that feeling I would save the penalty. The feeling is not always completely clear to me but I did a test and ended up saving 26 out 30 penalties.

However since the train station incident every thing has stopped. Ive found it extremely hard to balance "reality" with spiritualism and have pretty much stopped with spirituality altogether although I do think about it from time to time. I am still skeptical to this day about what has been happening, am I going insane or this actually something genuine???

You are experiencing something in translersonal psychology called a spiritual emergence.

You will be fine. Just accept what is happening and follow it to where it leads you.

[John from Lowell]

Hello oneofus,

Welcome to the forum.

Interesting set of experiences. I hope you find the answers which will assist you the most.

Best Wishes!!

John

[Himalayan Mystic]

All the best oneofus ...............