FollowTheTrail Posted July 29, 2014 #1 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An Investigator! Q: What do you call a computer that sings? A: A-Dell! Q: What do you call sad coffee? A: Despresso! Q: What happens when you tell a joke to an egg? A: It cracks up laughing! Q: How do dinosaurs pay their bills? A: With Tyrannosaurus checks! Q: What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path? A: Tyrannosaurus wrecks! Q: How do you make a hot dog stand? A: Steal that hot dog's chair! Q: Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon? A: He took them to a pignic! Q: What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed? A: Sleep somewhere else! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenemet Posted July 30, 2014 #2 Share Posted July 30, 2014 [groan] 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crabby Kitten Posted July 30, 2014 #3 Share Posted July 30, 2014 I love the Penguin biscuit wrapper jokes too 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Imaginarynumber1 Posted July 30, 2014 #4 Share Posted July 30, 2014 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FollowTheTrail Posted July 30, 2014 Author #5 Share Posted July 30, 2014 I love the Penguin biscuit wrapper jokes too why do penguins never succeed? -they always get cold feet! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magikgoddess Posted July 30, 2014 #6 Share Posted July 30, 2014 Q: What do you call the squishy stuff in between an elephants toes? A: Slow Tourists 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FollowTheTrail Posted July 30, 2014 Author #7 Share Posted July 30, 2014 Q: What do you call the squishy stuff in between an elephants toes? A: Slow Tourists good one! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FollowTheTrail Posted July 30, 2014 Author #8 Share Posted July 30, 2014 Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot and a lion? A: I don't know, but when it talks, you'd better listen! Q: What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? A: "You are too young to smoke." Q: How do you know, if a restaurant has a clown as a chef? A: When the food tastes funny! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BiffSplitkins Posted July 30, 2014 #9 Share Posted July 30, 2014 Q: How do you get a drummer off your front porch? A: Pay him for the pizza. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BiffSplitkins Posted July 30, 2014 #10 Share Posted July 30, 2014 Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot and a lion? A: I don't know, but when it talks, you'd better listen! Q: What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? A: "You are too young to smoke." Q: How do you know, if a restaurant has a clown as a chef? A: When the food tastes funny! Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? A: Time to get a new fence. Q: How can you tell that a vampire is sick? A: By his coffin. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir Smoke aLot Posted July 30, 2014 #11 Share Posted July 30, 2014 Wallygator Investigator I love them jokes about cars, Yugo 45 especially I've been told those are american jokes about this car but not sure. Q : How do you call shock absorbers inside a Yugo? A : Passangers Q : How do you call a Yugo at the top of the hill? A : A miracle 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FollowTheTrail Posted July 30, 2014 Author #12 Share Posted July 30, 2014 Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? A: Time to get a new fence. Q: How can you tell that a vampire is sick? A: By his coffin. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FollowTheTrail Posted July 30, 2014 Author #13 Share Posted July 30, 2014 Wallygator Investigator I love them jokes about cars, Yugo 45 especially I've been told those are american jokes about this car but not sure. Q : How do you call shock absorbers inside a Yugo? A : Passangers Q : How do you call a Yugo at the top of the hill? A : A miracle I love those jokes too! They're just hilarious! Q: How do you double the value of a Yugo? A: Fill the tank with gas! (If it can still hold liquid.). If not, put a gallon of milk in the back seat. Q: What comes with every Yugo User's Manual? A: The bus schedule. Q: Why do Yugo's have a heater for the back window? A: To keep your hands warm when pushing. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BiffSplitkins Posted July 30, 2014 #14 Share Posted July 30, 2014 Q: Why do Yugo's have a heater for the back window? A: To keep your hands warm when pushing. LOL I like that one. One of my old band mates had a Yugo in the late 80's. He actually loved that car and it was pretty amazing how much music equipment he could fit in it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir Smoke aLot Posted July 30, 2014 #15 Share Posted July 30, 2014 LOL I like that one. One of my old band mates had a Yugo in the late 80's. He actually loved that car and it was pretty amazing how much music equipment he could fit in it. Equipment only? Bands here bring their supporters with them, there is a place in Yugo, for everyone 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrooklynGuy Posted August 1, 2014 #16 Share Posted August 1, 2014 When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was to begin with? How do you throw away a garbage can? If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan? Why do they put Braille on the drive through bank ATM machines? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FollowTheTrail Posted August 8, 2014 Author #17 Share Posted August 8, 2014 Q: What did the mother broom say to the baby broom? A: It's time to go to sweep! Q: What did the necktie say to the hat? A: You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while! Q: What did the rug say to the floor? A: Don't move, i've got you covered! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FollowTheTrail Posted August 25, 2014 Author #18 Share Posted August 25, 2014 Q: Why was the math textbook sad? A: It had a lot of problems! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oppono Astos Posted August 26, 2014 #19 Share Posted August 26, 2014 A true response (not by me!) to a question in secondary school biology still takes some beating: Teacher: "What are the major organs of gas exchange in the body?" Flustered pupil: "Err, the buttocks?" Totally wrong but you could see where his thinking was going.... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FollowTheTrail Posted August 28, 2014 Author #20 Share Posted August 28, 2014 lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
praetorian-legio XIII Posted August 28, 2014 #21 Share Posted August 28, 2014 Q: Why are women like cow patties? A: Because the older they get, the easier they are to pick up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FollowTheTrail Posted February 15, 2015 Author #22 Share Posted February 15, 2015 Q: What did the bartender say after Charles Dickens ordered a martini? A: "Olive or twist?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Use your brain Posted March 18, 2015 #23 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Q. Why does Dr Pepper come in a bottle? A. His wife died 10 years ago ( better told out loud ) Q. When do you punch a midget in the face? A. When he tells your wife that her hair smells nice Q. What did my ex's mom say when she walked in on us? A. Moooooooo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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