Why going to hell is a ridiculous threat

[MysticOnion]

OK... I'm just gonna play with this a little while so we can see how ridiculous the threat of going to Hell actually is. To be perfectly honest when Christians say I'm going to hell or whatever, I just laugh inside because its not an adequate threat is it? I'm sure they meant it to be that... to scare me or something.. so if I can just transpose that into another point of view.. bear with me.

I am God's chosen one. It is my story I must tell you of the Great God FIWAAIRTH... how he/she/it has commanded us from on high to worship him/her/it alone and no others. We have been given 10 "proper paths" we have to follow and lo we have been promised some land in the middle East somewhere and if we trail across the desert we shall find said land and FIWAAIRTH will lead us there. FIWAAIRTH is a gigantic Blob of energy who resides in the far off lands of Rixerllopun and he has given us a way to get there after our deaths, by believing in me his only begotten daughter, you too can be reuinited with our great creator and hermaphroditic being, mother and father to us all, FIWAAIRTH. Verily I say unto you that these 10 proper paths must be walked in the name of FIWAAIRTH.

10 Proper Paths

1. Thou shalt not be of one sex, thou must be hermaphrodite and bisexual

2. Thou shalt not kill unless FIWAAIRTH commands it by speical instruction only via its only daughter

3. Thou shalt not go to any churches except for those converted to FIWAAIRTHism.

4. Thou must tell everyone our faith is the only one and everyone else is false

5. Thou must burn bushes in front of Prophets to confuse them

7. Thou shalt pretend to be the voice of God by using megaphones and speakers

8. Thou shalt be nice to animals

9. Thou shalt not be heterosexual

10. Thou shalt not fornicate in public

My children if these commands are not fulfilled FIWAAIRTH will be very angry and as he/she/it commans a crack legion of mythical beings with wings, we call The Anglords, he will be able to have you dragged away to a place of darkness and fire for all eternity and that place is called HOLE!

Yes sinners you are all going to HOLE where you can be of one sex, kill, go to church, have one faith, see real prophets, hear the voice of God which you believe, where you can be horrible to animals, heterosexual and you have to fornicate in public and be humiliated. There is a former God who made himself greater than FIWAAIRTH and he rules over this domain. He dared to say he was the one true God and so FIWAAIRTH rose up and smite him with the Anglords.. now he and his army of Angels haunt the HOLE.

I mean.. you see how silly religion is on the whole, and at least with this one instead of getting to be all one glorious whole.. if you sin you get sent to one glorious HOLE. Seriously its laughable..

I hope I made my point.

Edited August 4, 2009 by Oriana

[Aemeth]

Sure, some ideas of Hell are mythological m********ion, but not all are as whimsical. Do you speak of theoretical "hell" here, or comic-strip hell?

[MysticOnion]

Sure, some ideas of Hell are mythological m********ion, but not all are as whimsical. Do you speak of theoretical "hell" here, or comic-strip hell?

ER... is there a difference? Just Hell. However HOLE is a real place where everyone will go who is not a FIWAAIRTHian.

[Aemeth]

Some say Hell is just complete isolation from God/humanity. For example, I would not be surprised at all if Hell was nothingness. In a stroke of cruel irony, God lets the Atheists and the Theists be correct , as far as the idea of Hell existing for those who don't chose X religion, gah...If that somehow is the case, one has to claim that God will give everyone a fair chance to find this religion, because a Xian can't say God is just as he allows 80% of the world become doomed forever bc of their culture...

[MysticOnion]

The Book of FIWAAIRTH - by the true and exalted risen Daughter of Fiwaarth, Fiwaaret...

Here the first two books of the old testament of Fiwaairth.. offering the creation story, yea for it is written so shall it be.

http://storywrite.com/story/318762

[Enigmatic Annasawzi]

I've p***ed off the Higher Deities so much, when the time comes, all I have is one play, other then that, exile seems more a holiday then livily discord.<<<<see madness brought on simple distortion of answers, preterbed damnable stupidty brought on by silly notation towards wismical places, how I see it, both Heaven and Hell are real, but neither are paradise as simply sought by the begger of signs. Vision quests aside, both are as one and the same, just set apart, as rulers are difffernt from the next.

EA

[randomhit10]

OK... I'm just gonna play with this a little while so we can see how ridiculous the threat of going to Hell actually is. To be perfectly honest when Christians say I'm going to hell or whatever, I just laugh inside because its not an adequate threat is it? I'm sure they meant it to be that... to scare me or something.. so if I can just transpose that into another point of view.. bear with me.

I am God's chosen one. It is my story I must tell you of the Great God FIWAAIRTH... how he/she/it has commanded us from on high to worship him/her/it alone and no others. We have been given 10 "proper paths" we have to follow and lo we have been promised some land in the middle East somewhere and if we trail across the desert we shall find said land and FIWAAIRTH will lead us there. FIWAAIRTH is a gigantic Blob of energy who resides in the far off lands of Rixerllopun and he has given us a way to get there after our deaths, by believing in me his only begotten daughter, you too can be reuinited with our great creator and hermaphroditic being, mother and father to us all, FIWAAIRTH. Verily I say unto you that these 10 proper paths must be walked in the name of FIWAAIRTH.

10 Proper Paths

1. Thou shalt not be of one sex, thou must be hermaphrodite and bisexual

2. Thou shalt not kill unless FIWAAIRTH commands it by speical instruction only via its only daughter

3. Thou shalt not go to any churches except for those converted to FIWAAIRTHism.

4. Thou must tell everyone our faith is the only one and everyone else is false

5. Thou must burn bushes in front of Prophets to confuse them

7. Thou shalt pretend to be the voice of God by using megaphones and speakers

8. Thou shalt be nice to animals

9. Thou shalt not be heterosexual

10. Thou shalt not fornicate in public

My children if these commands are not fulfilled FIWAAIRTH will be very angry and as he/she/it commans a crack legion of mythical beings with wings, we call The Anglords, he will be able to have you dragged away to a place of darkness and fire for all eternity and that place is called HOLE!

Yes sinners you are all going to HOLE where you can be of one sex, kill, go to church, have one faith, see real prophets, hear the voice of God which you believe, where you can be horrible to animals, heterosexual and you have to fornicate in public and be humiliated. There is a former God who made himself greater than FIWAAIRTH and he rules over this domain. He dared to say he was the one true God and so FIWAAIRTH rose up and smite him with the Anglords.. now he and his army of Angels haunt the HOLE.

I mean.. you see how silly religion is on the whole, and at least with this one instead of getting to be all one glorious whole.. if you sin you get sent to one glorious HOLE. Seriously its laughable..

I hope I made my point.

the answer to this is very easy, i'm surprised you have not found it already.....if you think God is not real and all that goes with Him is baloney then simply don't believe and forget it....who are you trying so hard to convince?

randomhit10

Edited August 20, 2009 by randomhit10

[DontHate]

These threads never get old. I find great humor with poking fun at the outlandish claims that are held within various forms of religion.