Reading request (I am a new psychic!) :)

[RoseHoelzel]

Hello everybody and thank you for having me here.

I apologize in advance for the length of my post, but there is quite a bit of info that I feel may be relevant. I believe I am naturally incredibly psychic, and I will outline why and how. I feel like a life summary is essential, and what I'm hoping for is any outside readings or impressions that you may have regarding any aspect of my life or journey.

I was a militant and angry atheist my entire life (I am now 20), until my beloved Mother passed away unexpectedly on August 30th of this year (2015). It wasn't so much a desire to contact her or the seeking of "hope" that guided me to where I am today. I was hours away from her and had actually felt her pass. At the time I thought it was me who was dying, but it was a zap of my energy unlike anything I have ever experienced and it lasted for hours. Feeling like I would never talk to her again, I sent her a particularly heart felt goodnight. That night, at 3 in the morning, I received a call from my father. Before answering I knew exactly what he was going to tell me. She passed from an undetected aneurysm throughout the night, which ruptured right after she responded to my text.

The following weeks I began to notice a very different feeling. I gradually came to realize that what had happened that night was my pineal gland was activated, and quite intensely. I recall laying in the bath and feeling this crackling sensation so strong that my neck twitched. I began seeing auras almost immediately- and strongly too. Over the course of the last few months, I have progressed spiritually at a pace that I never could have imagined. My hate and anger is gone as if it died with her. At first I thought that since I felt her dying, that maybe I had killed her somehow. I then came to realize through recollection of our past that we had actually always been telepathically communicating. We would always text or call each other precisely at the same moment, we would come home from school/ work with the exact same idea for dinner, we would often discover at the end of our day that we had both decided to listen to the same CD despite not having heard it for years, etc...

It was the realization that I possessed this psychic ability when I decided, (or rather naturally), gravitated towards spirituality.

I am now very confident that all of my Chakras are healthy, balanced and activated and I have taken a 180 degree turn personality-wise since her death. I believe in god as the sense of unity in our universe, I love everything and everyone so deeply and compassionately and I have such a feeling of consistent bliss. (I should also mention that I am a recovered drug addict who has spent more time over the last 5 years in psychiatric institutions than I have employed. I have been diagnosed on numerous occasions with Anti-Social Personality Disorder, which is actually synonymous with psychopathy. I was a psychopath- or so I and everyone surrounding me had believed).

Since age 12 I have had incurable insomnia- to the point of being unable to sleep without prescription medication at all. If I were without meds, staying up for 4 days was a frequent occurrence until my body just shut down.

I also had horrific intestinal issues that also went undiagnosed (despite years of efforts on my part), and that's not all.

For as long as I can remember, I have suffered from horrific migraines ("with aura", they're scientifically called, believe it or not), which lead to tunnel vision and in some cases temporary blindness when at their worst for me. None of these issues had ever been diagnosed, and I live in Canada. I have free health care and have spent a LOT of time hospitalized hoping to find some cause. But psychologists and doctors alike never did anything but treat the symptoms. At the same time, I was so hateful throughout my teenage years and SO arrogant... Unbelievably so.

At age 12 I began teaching myself foreign languages and by age 19 I spoke many. I played violin, cello, drew realistic portraits and above all else, loathed religion and anyone whom I deemed to be "intellectually inferior" to myself. I quite literally called people stupid "c" words for merely misspelling words if I did not like what they were saying. I was hateful, to such an extreme extent. My only goal in life was to go to Harvard. By age 20 I was prepared to do so and was even accepted. This was in early August. Then my mother died.

Now, as I write this, I can assure you that attending a prestigeous university is the last thing on my mind. Not only that, but I have nothing but love in my heart. All I want to do is make people feel good, and help in whatever way that I can. (Not necessarily spiritually, just in general).

I am doing palm readings, runic divination, and can now meditate for up to 8 hours at a time.

After 7 years of placing value solely on what I considered to be my "superior intellect", I realize just how little I know and how ignorant I had become.

Understanding that this is a multiple-lifetime journey, I am quite shocked at what I have accomplished so far spiritually, and that is where my inquiry for you guys comes in.

My whole life I have experienced, albeit infrequently, sleep paralysis. I have never witnessed anything cunning or even usual. They have always been odd experiences at worst, (being that I couldn't move).

I can now experience them as I please, and experienced my first out of body experience today. It was neat. Again, nothing particularly weird.

I see lights and colors consistently, and having came to the understanding that those were my spirit guides, reached out to them last night via guided meditation.

It was my first time seriously attempting to connect with them, (him), and it was easily the most profound and incredibly experience of my life. My entire body vibrated at a rate completely unfamiliar to me and I felt this immense love and joy.

At the moment when he revealed himself, although not in any way other than thought forms, I recognized him immediately as a man whom I have been dreaming of over the last few years. He enters my dreams every now and then, and manifests himself physically as precisely what I considered to be my "ideal soul mate" as a young girl. Over the years I had pondered who he was and what his presence meant, because I had always awoken feeling that a strong sense of significance came with his appearing. The last time I had dreamed of him was before my mother's passing. I remember waking up that day with a very unusual feeling. I felt like I was completely in love with this man, and it saddened me to think that he was only a figment of my imagination. It isn't a pervasive love, but rather a love that I now know I have acquired and built with this entity over the course of lifetimes.

The sense of relief I felt upon understanding that this was my spirit guide was unparalleled to anything I had ever known. I love him so dearly, and he only entered my life on a conscious level last night. He calls himself Kyle, and he calls me Rose. This was surprising to me at first, having no idea where that came from. (I still don't really know, because my name is Jordan), but it resonates with me greatly.

I am having a difficult time communicating with him in any way other than thought forms, which is fine considering this is completely new to me. I am having difficulty differentiating between him and my own mind.

He also does not wish to show me his face. He says he will when we are both ready.

He says that I had chose him to assist me in my journey on earth throughout this lifetime, and that we have been connected for a very long time. He sends nothing but positive energy and love to me, and the vibrations I get when sending him my love and gratitude shoot through my body from head to toe. It's quite amazing.

As of right now, merely 4 months into my spiritual journey, these are the psychic abilities that I have recognized as being likely or natural to me:

• Telepathy

• Psychometry

• Telekinesis (I have been practicing for months and just had my first obvious success last week)

Seeing auras

• Empathy (I believe this has always came incredibly naturally- overpoweringly so. I believe this is what caused me to shut down emotionally and fill myself with hatred for so long. My inability at the time to handle the compassion that I have in my heart)

• Derma-Optical perception (I am great at guessing which cards are in my hand, ones with different colors and shapes on them)

• Remote viewing (following my mother's passing, a specific band deeply impacted me while dealing with her death. A friend actually just went to see them live in a different country, and while I was meditating, I was able to channel through her and view the concert for a few minutes. Afterwards I asked her what the singer was wearing and other little details. It was quite the experience)

• Channeling/ mediumship (so far only with my spirit guide and I have felt my mother's presence on a few occasions. No communication with her yet, though. I don't believe I am ready)

• Astral Projection

• Lucid Dreaming

• Pendulum Divination (with my spirit guide once today)

• Clairsentience

• Claircognizance

And I have an unusual attraction to fire, assuming that I have a natural inclination towards pyromancy, although I have yet to focus on that. I feel connected to fire though, not in a pyromaniac kind of way, but rather just have a certain trust in it.

Also, since age 11 I have been deeply infatuated with Germany. I have always felt that a piece of my soul is missing, being that I live in Canada. My mother was distantly German, but very distantly. There was no reason for this passion, but regardless, German was the first language I taught myself. I feel tied to the country and have always known that it is where I belong. Kyle has helped me realize that I was a fighter pilot in Germany during the first World War. So that's really neat.

Anyways, again, I'm sorry about the length.

I would be very grateful for absolutely any feedback or impressions that you guys may have. There are no limits to my inquiries, please share whatever info may have came to you whilst reading my story.

Thank you so much.

[Davros of Skaro]

Sorry to hear about your Mom.

You should just astral project to her ready or not.

[toast]

Kyle has helped me realize that I was a fighter pilot in Germany during the first World War.

Welcome to UM, Manfred Albrecht Freiherr von Richthofen.

[godnodog]

Welcome, but remember great claims require supportive data

[Angel13]

Blessed awakening, Jordan <3

I applaud you opening up and telling of your experiences, I know how terrifying it can be.

Welcome to UM

Love and light to you!

[CraneHaven]

Wow! Holy moly, i'm kind of jealous of you lol. I wish that I can achieve that kind of awakening like you did. I myself am trying to meditate so I can speak to my spirit guide but... i'm not good at meditating (I get bored). Feeling your mothers death must have been a total world changer. It would seem to me like you don't really need a reading... your skills sound like they are blooming and growing with a good starting base (I'm sorry I can't give you a reading.. I don't have the skills for that yet). If you are able to talk with your spirit guide, why not ask him? I have read that if you are able to give yourself your own readings, it is the best kind.

I'm happy for you and your growth, reading how much you grew genuinely makes me happy for you, despite not even knowing you

[Sir Wearer of Hats]

Welcome to UM, Manfred Albrecht Freiherr von Richthofen.

Or Hermann Goering.

[jamesjr191]

Or Hermann Goering.

Note; (Goering) Not simply a German pilot but a highly decorated one!

Edited November 21, 2015 by jamesjr191