LavenderAlice Posted May 29, 2015 #1 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Thought this place looked interesting, though I'm certainly no stranger to posting on forums. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubbly_Dooright Posted May 29, 2015 #2 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Greetings and Salutations!!!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Likely Guy Posted May 29, 2015 #3 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Welcome to UM, DotR! There's never a dull moment here. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cesadelo Posted May 29, 2015 #4 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Run away as long as you still can. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashotep Posted May 29, 2015 #5 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Welcome to the forum, happy you found us DotR, UM is a great forum to be part of. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Imaginarynumber1 Posted May 29, 2015 #6 Share Posted May 29, 2015 I don't have much time. The Camel is already here and the moose is sure to follow. You must, MUST not believe a word the moose says! Ot is imperative that you do not believe his lies! The camel is even worse... he spews words like honey, but has nothing but vile intent. The Simian Horde can hold these monsters back for a time, but I'm afraid this place may be lost. Get out. Warn the others. Never trust the camel. .. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted May 29, 2015 #7 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Welcome, you will be issued with your UM uniform when the camel brings it back from the deep clean and sterilization dry cleaners and your UM rules will be issued by the pink salmon moose, please read, sign and memorize each word. Dinner is served at 7.34 sharp......7.35 is when the gorilla is let out and he tends to eat everything insight....that reminds me, can you cook, the chefs gone missing again1 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LavenderAlice Posted May 29, 2015 Author #8 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Thanks for the replies 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JVG Posted May 29, 2015 #9 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Nice of you to join us DaughterOfTheRains we welcome with you with open arms and the Moose will be checking in with his official welcome and the list of somewhere around 634790 rules..... 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Imaginarynumber1 Posted May 29, 2015 #10 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Welcome, you will be issued with your UM uniform when the camel brings it back from the deep clean and sterilization dry cleaners and your UM rules will be issued by the pink salmon moose, please read, sign and memorize each word. Dinner is served at 7.34 sharp......7.35 is when the gorilla is let out and he tends to eat everything insight....that reminds me, can you cook, the chefs gone missing again1 So very hungry..... 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Likely Guy Posted May 30, 2015 #11 Share Posted May 30, 2015 I don't have much time. The Camel is already here and the moose is sure to follow. You must, MUST not believe a word the moose says! Ot is imperative that you do not believe his lies! The camel is even worse... he spews words like honey, but has nothing but vile intent. The Simian Horde can hold these monsters back for a time, but I'm afraid this place may be lost. Get out. Warn the others. Never trust the camel. .. I spit in your general direction. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lioness_Heart Posted May 30, 2015 #12 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Hello and welcome aboard, DaughterOfTheRains. Enjoy your stay to the fullest. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
She-ra Posted May 30, 2015 #13 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Hello DotR and Welcome to UM! Watch out for the gorilla!! He's basically harmless but he keeps you on your toes Oh and never say the name of the day after Tuesday to the camel. It throws him into a tizzy which takes until Thursday to work out in his head...he really gets freaked out when you say that day's name. I think it has something to do with his hump? It's still a mystery...Freetoroam has her RSS feed set to automatically google that topic every day and report back her findings to all of us. And the moose, well, moose is colorblind but we still love him- DO NOT TELL HIM I SAID THAT, he will not be happy and pitch a fit and KariW and ZZ430 will have to come in and talk him down and out of his hidey-hole filled with 10,003 wires. He is the ancient record-keeper of all that is important and doles out secret knowledge to all new victims members that join UM. Oh and Roo...you will figure him out when he arrives. It's okay to eat the tomatoes but DO NOT EAT THE BROWNIES, unless, of course, you're a fan of you tube and music. Then you can eat the brownies and enjoy yourself. One last thing...all the Mod's are really the same person. The usernames and locations change from time-to-time but they are all the same person and this person NEVER sleeps. So, when moose posts the REAL rules here it's important to follow them carefully. PS: We met your sister *Daughter of the Nine Moons* and she is adorable and we all love her here. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taun Posted May 30, 2015 #14 Share Posted May 30, 2015 (edited) The Moose is out for the weekend... Doing Moosey things... He will return on Monday (provided he makes bail)... This is a recording... (seriously, I won't have time to devote to the fine and subtle art of total incomprehensible blather, until later in the weekend - possibly Monday morning.... So in the meantime... To DaughteroftheRains... Welcome and with that name, I hope you are drip dry...) Edited May 30, 2015 by Taun 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.ZZ. Posted May 30, 2015 #15 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Welcome to UM DaughterOfTheRains 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
She-ra Posted May 30, 2015 #16 Share Posted May 30, 2015 The Moose is out for the weekend... Doing Moosey things... He will return on Monday (provided he makes bail)... This is a recording... (seriously, I won't have time to devote to the fine and subtle art of total incomprehensible blather, until later in the weekend - possibly Monday morning.... So in the meantime... To DaughteroftheRains... Welcome and with that name, I hope you are drip dry...) This is code for *I am stuck in my hidey-hole underground with 10,003 wires*...just FYI. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olate1 Posted May 30, 2015 #17 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Welcome. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted May 30, 2015 #18 Share Posted May 30, 2015 So very hungry..... Are those carrots or ................................................THE CHEFS FIGURES! 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KariW Posted May 30, 2015 #19 Share Posted May 30, 2015 BIG WELCOME DaughteroftheRains! Very nice to meet you! You're going to love it here! UM really is one of the best forums on the WEB, and the members here are the best! She-ra, is possibly one of the most kind-hearted persons you will ever meet, and has a habit of taking people under her protective wings! I'm certain that the Moose controls the internet, and possibly the power grid with all the wires and Cat-5 cable leading to his lair! Best to stay on his good side or we'll all be sitting in the dark. Do Mooses (or is it Meese) have lairs?? Its definitely a zoo around here with all the wildlife running amuck and causing havoc! Every once in a while you will see a cute little white rabbit that pops his head up from time to time. He is very wise and has a quick wit! Take Care! 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taun Posted June 1, 2015 #20 Share Posted June 1, 2015 (edited) Well I am returned... The weekend was perfectly normal, except that I've never seen a restaurant get so up tight over the "No Pants - No Service" rule before.... Sheesh.. Thanks to my non-stop 16 hour singing of the "Badger Song" I was able to meet bail and was allowed to go free... Actually the other inmates all chipped in and paid my bail to shut me up - so It's all good... (Actually I was just being visited by two of my five sisters - and their unruly horde of kids, grand kids and possibly a few strangers thrown in to boot - It just felt like jail)... Back to my self appointed - unofficial/Official Duties... Welcome DaughteroftheRains... I see by your own admission that you have changed your status from Lurker to Full Member... This is a momentous and very wise decision on your part, as full members get certain perks, benefits and privileges that Lurkers can only have in their sad, twisted little feverish dreams - between visits to their cell blocks apartments Office of Flogging, Hot Irons, Torture and Pinochle Tournaments... Below I have listed a few of the many Perks, Benefits and Privileges that you may enjoy now that you no longer reside in the lower Lurker Pits: - It is no longer necessary to bow, scrape and loudly sing their praises, as Senior ranking members arrogantly strut by... Simple Salaaming will do for all non-mod members... Mods of course still expect full prostration, loud hosanna's, Repetitive chanting of the traditional UM Members chant ("Ohwa Tagu Siam!") and hefty bribes.... - As a full member you are no longer flogged with barbed cat-o-nine-tails for minor offenses... Instead you will be happy to know that the barbs are now removed (mostly), and it is a cat-o-five-tails.... - As a member you are now welcome at the Tuesday Night Karaoke Camp-Fire And Hot-Dog Roast, Sponsored by the Cheerful Boys and Girls of The Floggers, Henchmen and Snitches Union (Local 554)... So put on your finest ragged, soiled tunic, cast off your shackles (for that night at least), and come on out to the Western Wastelands (near the Grand Outer Moat) and have some fun! (Attendance will be taken)... - As a newly chartered member you are now allowed to post long, boring, repetitive, totally inane blather so long as no single post ever mentions UFO's, Big Foot, Chupacabra's, Hyrax's, Egyptian Pyramids, Ancient Aliens, Atlantis, Time Traveling Squirrels, Orbs, Astronomical Impossibilities and Fairies... Please Note that you can talk about any one of these topics... Just not all in the same post... - Now that you are no longer a lowly Lurker, you are expected to conduct all secret messages to the Mods, and all official UM business, in Ancient Hittite.. Be warned that Ancient Egyptian, Middle Akkadian, or any other long lost language is NOT acceptable... The Mods might not ever know the difference... But they won't like it... - Membership also has the exciting perk of allowing you to get rides on Pookie the Moat Monster (on weekends only)... That's right! You no longer have to worry about just being a snack for him(?) (As long as your quick)... But if you manage to sneak up on some part of his(?) upper back (or what ever it is), manage to climb up (Climbing spikes are recommended) and then mange to hang on to one or more of his(?) spines, horns, tentacles, ridges or other protuberances, he (?) will be more than happy to give you the ride of your life!... It is recommended that you bring lots of burn ointment, anti-itch cream and wear chain mail... - Membership also entitles you to attend one of UM's legendary Monthly "Zombie and Imaginary Spouse or Significant Other Polka Party and Masked Ball"... Attendees are judged on the physical condition and dance moves of their Zombie Date, and/or the attractiveness, dress, dancing and Social skills of their Imaginary Spouse or Significant Other... In case of tie, Zombies will have a Polka Face Off, while Imaginary Spouses or Significant Others will engage in a round robin medley of Clog-Dancing, Mud Wrestling, Chantings of the Elder Eddas (in Hittite of Course) and singing of Tom Lehrer's song "The Elements Song"... In the event that there is still no single winner, duels will be fought with flamethrowers... - As you can tell by my posting... Spelling and grammar are not essential skills... These are just a few of the perks you can expect as a member of UM - so welcome, and get to enjoying your time here! (It's all just a bunch of silliness really... Welcome to UM!) Edited June 1, 2015 by Taun 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SHaYap Posted June 1, 2015 #21 Share Posted June 1, 2015 Ahhh ... Daughter of the rains ... we have been expecting you ~ _ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4v-_p5dU34 _ 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubbly_Dooright Posted June 1, 2015 #22 Share Posted June 1, 2015 Thanks for the replies I have an extra chocolate flavored ready-whip machine gun, if you need it. And if you are confused curious about that. There is a thread I could link you to. Not that I'm trying to shamelessly plug anything like that. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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