The Class Photo that Broke a Mother’s Heart

[Kowalski]

The Class Photo that Broke a Mother’s Heart

It's one of those things that you don't get, until you get it. Unless you are eternally empathetic, you look at this photo and don't see much wrong at all.

To Anne Belanger, mother of Miles, the photo is unbearable to look at.

When the class portrait for her son's Grade 2 class came home, she opened it excitedly, and immediately shoved it back in the envelope. She couldn't look at it. It broke her heart.

Anne's son, Miles, has Spinal Muscular Atrophy. At the age of 13 months, his parents were told that Miles would never walk, he has spent his life in a wheelchair.

Miles knows he's different than the rest of the kids, but he still tries to fit in. So there he is, on the far side of the image, neck craning as far as he can to stretch into the frame with the rest of his friends. He's beaming. It's school picture day and he's thrilled.

*Snip*

From: http://shine.yahoo.c...-141700823.html

This story brought tears to my eyes....

What a sweet smile, that little boy has! I think we can all learn something from this article.....

Edited June 19, 2013 by Still Waters
Shortened amount of copied text

[aztek]

there has been too many thing wrong with schools lately.

[Clarakore]

The school had nothing to do with that but the privately owned photography company made that decision there and then. You can even see they moved him as close as possible.

They already took another class photo where the student sat with the other students. Read about it earlier.

None of us were there and do not know if the student was asked that in the first place and declined or not...in either case it has been resolved.

Edited June 19, 2013 by The world needs you

[Sakari]

Saw this on home page. He was put as close as possible to the benchs ( the wheelchair ). I do not think anyone did anything on purpose. How many people take pics, to later look at them and realize it was a horrible setting?

Pussification of America.

[Bama13]

The school had nothing to do with that but the privately owned photography company made that decision there and then. You can even see they moved him as close as possible.

They already took another class photo where the student sat with the other students. Read about it earlier.

None of us were there and do not know if the student was asked that in the first place and declined or not...in either case it has been resolved.

Hmm...my limited experience with professional photographers was different. They can make suggestions but, as the customer, I made the final decisions.

[Q-C]

Good going, Mom. No one asked the other kids whether they wanted to sit with the group touching shoulders with their peers, or stand off to the side.

Yes, the father's words and Footnote are true! But, no one noticing except Mom? Is troublesome. Special needs kids have been included in regular classrooms for a long time. Teachers and photographers should be sensitive to things like this by now. Even the standing teacher is inside the benches. If anyone cuts the photo to fit a frame who gets left out?

It doesn't matter to some unless you are the one having to advocate for your special needs child ALL the time, in school/out of school. No one realizes the trials and battles parents of special needs students have gone through. Even this "little" thing is far from "little". It's reflective of how far we still need to go.

Edited June 19, 2013 by QuiteContrary

[pallidin]

Maybe it's just me(quite possibly), but I don't see anything wrong with pic.

Like was said, the wheelchair appears to be positioned as close as possible to the bleacher bench.

Now, could he have been positioned in front of the bleacher, at center, with the center lower students moved to the side?

Sure, and that would have been a great pic. But I just don't see anything "apologetically" wrong with the one shown.

[Clarakore]

Hmm...my limited experience with professional photographers was different. They can make suggestions but, as the customer, I made the final decisions.

Ambridge said he blames the photographer, not the school, for the error. But he understands the photographer was likely under a time crunch and simply didn’t pause to think about making the photo more inclusive.

“It’s wrong, but it doesn’t mean it was intentional,” he said. “It just means that somebody dropped the ball for a moment and that can be incredibly hurtful.”

On Thursday, school photography company Lifetouch Canada acknowledged their photographer made a mistake in the composition of the photo. The company retook the class photo earlier this week and is working to have the photo printed and delivered to Miles’s parents early next week.

“People make mistakes and unfortunately this one has had a very lasting effect on both of the parents, the school and Lifetouch,” said regional sales manager Greg Tarapaski, who declined to comment on whether the photographer has been fired or suspended.

School principal Tracy Fulton declined to comment on the situation on Friday, but in a previous interview said the school would no longer be using Lifetouch for their student photos. The decision to change photographers was made before Miles’s parents raised an issue with their son’s photo, she said.

“We had several comments from teachers who said they just didn’t feel that they had taken the time,” said Fulton in a previous interview.

In the new photo, Miles was taken out of his wheelchair and placed on a bench beside a classmate with his caregiver supporting him on the outside edge of the photo.

http://www.theprovince.com/touch/story.html?id=8528896

Unsure if having an adult caregiver in the photo is a truly better alternative?

[Clarakore]

Are class photos public? As a parent would feel uneasy over having another parent choose to take a class photo and have it published. Did they ask all the parents beforehand?

[Kowalski]

Good going, Mom. No one asked the other kids whether they wanted to sit with the group touching shoulders with their peers, or stand off to the side.

Yes, the father's words and Footnote are true! But, no one noticing except Mom? Is troublesome. Special needs kids have been included in regular classrooms for a long time. Teachers and photographers should be sensitive to things like this by now. Even the standing teacher is inside the benches. If anyone cuts the photo to fit a frame who gets left out?

It doesn't matter to some unless you are the one having to advocate for your special needs child ALL the time, in school/out of school. No one realizes the trials and battles parents of special needs students have gone through. Even this "little" thing is far from "little". It's reflective of how far we still need to go.

I know. My little nephew is autistic, and she had to battle the school he was going to constantly. It was exasperating for her. In the end she just ended pulling him out, at the advice of his physical and occupational therapists, because the school was causing him to regress.....

I've worked with special needs kids, in the past, and I have to tell you, we do have a long way to go on this. Glad everything worked out for them though.

I don't think anyone did this one purpose, it was an accident, not done out of maliciousness, or anything, they just weren't thinking, which is the whole problem.

[Sakari]

- post removed -

You read that reply wrong...

They were saying parents of the other kids may not want that photo being made public, as their kids are in it. Not because he is in it.

Little sensitive aren't we

[Q-C]

I know. My little nephew is autistic, and she had to battle the school he was going to constantly. It was exasperating for her. In the end she just ended pulling him out, at the advice of his physical and occupational therapists, because the school was causing him to regress.....

I've worked with special needs kids, in the past, and I have to tell you, we do have a long way to go on this. Glad everything worked out for them though.

I don't think anyone did this one purpose, it was an accident, not done out of maliciousness, or anything, they just weren't thinking, which is the whole problem.

Agreed. This little boy is a child not a wheelchair. All one needs to ask and all parents want others to ask is :"What are the other kids doing? Can he be accommodated to do it too?" So he doesn't stand out from the group which parents fight so hard against.

"Sidelines" has never been used as an inclusive term.

Nothing changes unless people speak up, unafraid to advocate for their kids, no matter how others look at their efforts and emotional involvement.

Edited June 19, 2013 by QuiteContrary

[Kowalski]

Agreed. This little boy is a child not a wheelchair. All one needs to ask and all parents ask is :"What are the other kids doing? Can he be accommodated to do it too?" So he doesn't stand out from the group which parents fight so hard against.

I know. I was in tears reading the story. It broke my heart seeing that little kid singled out from the rest of the class. It wasn't right.

[Kowalski]

You read that reply wrong...

They were saying parents of the other kids may not want that photo being made public, as their kids are in it. Not because he is in it.

Little sensitive aren't we

The other kid's faces were blurred out in the published photo.

Maybe I am a little overly sensitive when it comes to the subject of special needs to kids, but I think that's just a normal, motherly reaction....

[Sakari]

The other kid's faces were blurred out in the published photo.

Maybe I am a little overly sensitive when it comes to the subject of special needs to kids, but I think that's just a normal, motherly reaction....

It is. I have orginized several charity events for Autism, so I have empathy.

Just wanted to help calm you down is all

[Kowalski]

It is. I have orginized several charity events for Autism, so I have empathy.

Just wanted to help calm you down is all

I apologize, I didn't read his comment closely enough. Misunderstanding.

Thank you for helping me calm down.

That's great that you have done that! Thumbs up!

[tapirmusic]

Sorry, but this kid shouldn't even be a part of that class. He just wanted to fit in... but guess what? He Doesn't! Place him in a class of other wheelchair-bound children and voila! No issues.

The mother set herself and her child up for broken hearts because she wouldn't accept the fact that the kid is different.

No empathy here on this story....

[Sakari]

Sorry, but this kid shouldn't even be a part of that class. He just wanted to fit in... but guess what? He Doesn't! Place him in a class of other wheelchair-bound children and voila! No issues.

The mother set herself and her child up for broken hearts because she wouldn't accept the fact that the kid is different.

No empathy here on this story....

That is something that should have been left un said. Very screwed up, and wrong.

[Kowalski]

Sorry, but this kid shouldn't even be a part of that class. He just wanted to fit in... but guess what? He Doesn't! Place him in a class of other wheelchair-bound children and voila! No issues.

The mother set herself and her child up for broken hearts because she wouldn't accept the fact that the kid is different.

No empathy here on this story....

How about showing a little compassion for someone else?

He's just a little kid! It's commendable that his parent's are trying to give him as normal life, as they possibly can.

That's just messed up.....

[Clarakore]

Sorry, but this kid shouldn't even be a part of that class. He just wanted to fit in... but guess what? He Doesn't! Place him in a class of other wheelchair-bound children and voila! No issues.

The mother set herself and her child up for broken hearts because she wouldn't accept the fact that the kid is different.

No empathy here on this story....

Care to explain why the opposition toward mainstreaming, if any opposition at all in your view?

[tapirmusic]

What can I say?

The kid is not normal and will never "fit in" as long as he lives.

Shame on his mother for trying to force a round peg in a square slot. Doing this will only invite more situations like the class photo and it's all her choice. What's next? She wants him to play soccer and the rest of the world is wrong for not letting him be captain of the team? I feel bad for the kid because his mother is setting up his disappointments.

If I'm the bad guy of this thread then so be it, but in my opinion the mother is in the wrong here.

[Kowalski]

What can I say?

The kid is not normal and will never "fit in" as long as he lives.

Shame on his mother for trying to force a round peg in a square slot. Doing this will only invite more situations like the class photo and it's all her choice. What's next? She wants him to play soccer and the rest of the world is wrong for not letting him be captain of the team? I feel bad for the kid because his mother is setting up his disappointments.

If I'm the bad guy of this thread then so be it, but in my opinion the mother is in the wrong here.

She just wanted her little boy to be in his class picture like everybody else, not off to the side like he's some kind of leper.....

I don't see anything wrong with what this Mom asked for. It's not like she's asking for special treatment for him or anything.

[Clarakore]

What can I say?

The kid is not normal and will never "fit in" as long as he lives.

Shame on his mother for trying to force a round peg in a square slot. Doing this will only invite more situations like the class photo and it's all her choice. What's next? She wants him to play soccer and the rest of the world is wrong for not letting him be captain of the team? I feel bad for the kid because his mother is setting up his disappointments.

If I'm the bad guy of this thread then so be it, but in my opinion the mother is in the wrong here.

So your view is just based on concern for the child? To save him from future disappointments? Do you have any proof your prognostication is accurate?

Here is a study that reveals intelligence among those with spinal muscular atrophy is no different than that of controls and even greater by time they reach adolescence: Intelligence and cognitive function in children and adolescents with spinal muscular atrophy.

It is true, they might not live as long as me or you might be lucky too, but that does not mean they should be subject to segregated education.

Have you ever know someone with spinal muscular atrophy? They can dance if you let them in their own way, on the floor, with a big smile on their face, as long as they are in a room of accepting individuals. They can be wonderfully gifted in other areas as well from personal computing to general discussion. They will do well with the class material, do not worry.

The real problem here might not be the mother but those who do not accept others. Is that the real concern in your view? Because that can be overcome too...

Edited June 19, 2013 by The world needs you

[Kowalski]

So your view is just based on concern for the child? To save him from future disappointments? Do you have any proof your prognostication is accurate?

Here is a study that reveals intelligence among those with spinal muscular atrophy is no different than that of controls and even greater by time they reach adolescence: Intelligence and cognitive function in children and adolescents with spinal muscular atrophy.

It is true, they might not live as long as me or you might be lucky too, but that does not mean they should be subject to segregated education.

Have you ever know someone with spinal muscular atrophy? They can dance if you let them in their own way, on the floor, with a big smile on their face, as long as they are in a room of accepting individuals. They can be wonderfully gifted in other areas as well from personal computing to general discussion. They will do well with the class material, do not worry.

The real problem here might not be the mother but those who do not accept others. Is that the real concern in your view? Because that can be overcome too...

That's very true.

We really need to be more accepting of individuals who have medical conditions like spinal muscular atrophy, instead of segregating them from everyone else. In the past, I've worked with special needs children, and children like Myles, and they are the sweetest most lovable kids I have ever encountered.... Smart too! They do fine in classroom settings. I learned more from them, then they did from me!

[tapirmusic]

I'm not going to pretend to give a damn about this kid, but don't try to tell me that I have a problem because I'm not afraid to call a spade a spade.