Is Online Flirting Cheating?

[Persia]

As the Anthony Weiner scandal shows, couples should establish what's appropriate or inappropriate online, say experts.

http://news.discovery.com/tech/anthony-weiner-online-infidelity-marriage-110609.html

[ohio traveler]

Yes. I believe it is.

Cheating doesn't have to be physical.

[Habitat]

It's only cheating if Joey what's-his-name would be prepared to send the cameramen in to "spring" the offender, IMO.

[The Silver Thong]

Its cheating as I have learned first hand. However is it cheating when you are an open book and the other is as private as the cia. I have a friend with benifits for sometime now and I canèt take p*** with out her knowing and yet she is completly off the radar to me as far as checking in on each other. Screw it who wants to talk dirty LOL

She stalks me me but I cant be bothered to do the same

Edited June 10, 2011 by The Silver Thong

[Habitat]

It makes work for private detectives, I guess. Every cloud has a silver lining, they say.

[The Silver Thong]

It makes work for private detectives, I guess. Every cloud has a silver lining, they say.

Damn those PI people. I was having a very sexy chat with a girl on here with Wolfnips (fake) and had a dude serve me papers

[Paracelse]

What are the benefits of cheating online? I know Japanese invented a kissing machine (

http://www.unexplained-mysteries.com/viewnews.php?id=205435

) but heck if you gotta be cheating (no that I endorse that) do it life.. got to be more fun to it.

[libstaK]

Is flirting at anytime cheating? It depends on the intent and only that.

Flirtation can be fun if it's just about that and both parties understand there is no further intent. It can be a way of flattering a person and boosting their self esteem - something friends do for each other just to be friends.

But I think we're talking about something more here, I think we're talking about people getting on line and developing relationships to fill gaps they perceive in their significant other or on the basis that they are not getting all that they would like from their partner and want more - that's cheating on so many levels right there. Also, if it passes beyond flirting to physical gratifications etc then that is blatantly cheating.

[Habitat]

Is flirting at anytime cheating? It depends on the intent and only that.

Flirtation can be fun if it's just about that and both parties understand there is no further intent. It can be a way of flattering a person and boosting their self esteem - something friends do for each other just to be friends.

But I think we're talking about something more here, I think we're talking about people getting on line and developing relationships to fill gaps they perceive in their significant other or on the basis that they are not getting all that they would like from their partner and want more - that's cheating on so many levels right there. Also, if it passes beyond flirting to physical gratifications etc then that is blatantly cheating.

A couple of years ago my next door neighbour came to my door to say goodbye. His wife had caught him in some on-line relationship with a woman overseas, the major sin seemed to be he had indicated that had he not been married, he'd travel overseas to meet the other woman. Stupid, but not a serious transgression, IMO. However, the wife indicated she could never trust him again, and pointed to the door ! Fortunately, common sense eventually prevailed and after a few months they were together again, and now have a child. Cyber flirting can be hazardous.

[libstaK]

A couple of years ago my next door neighbour came to my door to say goodbye. His wife had caught him in some on-line relationship with a woman overseas, the major sin seemed to be he had indicated that had he not been married, he'd travel overseas to meet the other woman. Stupid, but not a serious transgression, IMO. However, the wife indicated she could never trust him again, and pointed to the door ! Fortunately, common sense eventually prevailed and after a few months they were together again, and now have a child. Cyber flirting can be hazardous.

Well you said it, the major sin was he indicated he was not married - he lied and denied the existence of the wife he proclaimed to love - that is beyond cheating IMO, he is lucky she forgave him, I sure wouldn't.

Flirting if it is innocent and fun does not involve lies or the belittlement of our partners and if it is innocent the partners should be able to know about it. If you have to hide what you are doing, then you are doing something wrong, that should be obvious.

And how does "stupid but not a serious transgression" equate with agreeing to travel overseas to meet another woman? It is way beyond stupid and infinitely serious, it is a betrayal by him to both women because:

- It's based on a lie to 2 people the friend is claiming to "care" about

- It's based on breach of trust financially by using his money for his personal gratification at the expense of his wife's and another womans feelings while claiming a commitment of a LIFE TOGETHER with the wife and the freedom to start a caring relationship with the woman and all that that entails emotionally for everyone.

- It's completely selfish - stupid is way too kind, your friend was heartless and narcissistic and clearly is a convincing liar, a dangerous accomplishment for anybody to have on their resume IMO.

Maybe I am having a go at someone who has already figured this all out though, I am happy that love won and I hope it continues to do so now that they are a family.

[Habitat]

LibstaK.......if you re-read you will see he never hid his marriage from the on-line woman, he told her he'd have travelled to meet her were he not married

Edited June 10, 2011 by Habitat

[libstaK]

LibstaK.......if you re-read you will see he never hid his marriage from the on-line woman, he told her he'd have travelled to meet her were he not married

Oops, you are right you said "had he not been married", I read it as "he had not been married" - my bad red flag to a bull I guess, I have a female friend who was in fact on the opposite side of a similar scenario too.

A couple of years ago my next door neighbour came to my door to say goodbye. His wife had caught him in some on-line relationship with a woman overseas, the major sin seemed to be he had indicated that had he not been married, he'd travel overseas to meet the other woman. Stupid, but not a serious transgression, IMO. However, the wife indicated she could never trust him again, and pointed to the door ! Fortunately, common sense eventually prevailed and after a few months they were together again, and now have a child. Cyber flirting can be hazardous.

[Habitat]

The poor devil was extremely contrite, and when he re-appeared after a couple of months had lost a couple of stone at least ! The On-line Romance Diet sure worked ! I felt his embarrassment. And I was pretty surprised that he had confided in me about it, though I felt I should not try to intercede with her to help have him 'rehabilitated', it being a matter between them alone.

[libstaK]

The poor devil was extremely contrite, and when he re-appeared after a couple of months had lost a couple of stone at least ! The On-line Romance Diet sure worked ! I felt his embarrassment. And I was pretty surprised that he had confided in me about it, though I felt I should not try to intercede with her to help have him 'rehabilitated', it being a matter between them alone.

LOL well that is one lesson well learnt eh? I am sure she ripped him every which way over that one, he should look on the bright side though, without those couple of stones he can now keep up with his child and has probably saved himself a bypass -

[Beckys_Mom]

Yea it is.. more so if you take it further.. like meet them in real life

[supervike]

I agree, it's all about the intent. A little harmless flirting is not a big deal. Sending pictures of your junk to other people. That's crossing the line

[+HerNibs]

Hmmm...I flirt online. I call people hon, have told people that intelligence is sexy, paid some people quite heavy compliments...oh and I think I asked one member to marry me...

I hide nothing from my hubby. He knows I flirt. Heck, I do it in RL as well.

BUT, my flirting is words and harmless innuendo. I know how to NOT take it too far.

I WON'T touch some one (in RL) nor will I engage in any "dirty talk" online or personal PM's that are in any way sexual in nature.

I think a great deal of "cheating" is defined by intention and the reason behind it.

A person can emotionally "cheat" on their spouse as well as physically. I've heard many women I know who are in a relationship in RL say that they are just lonely and that their husbands ignore them or don't listen, etc. NOT an excuse but IMO that is cheating. Fix the marriage or get out of it before you find a "special person" online.

Nibs

[+HerNibs]

I agree, it's all about the intent. A little harmless flirting is not a big deal. Sending pictures of your junk to other people. That's crossing the line

Ick. I've never found that idea sexy. I had some one send a pic like that to me. Hubby and I laughed (and still do) about it all the time. It was out of the blue from a FRIEND OF HUBBY'S.

Nibs

[Goodnite]

It is quite a slippery slope, but if you don't hide your status and don't make any plans involving the other person I think it is quite harmless.

If it starts to escalate to phone calls, texting and making plans you need to slam on the binders and re-think your flirting.

[Michelle]

My general rule of thumb is if I wouldn't say or do the same in front of my husband I shouldn't go there.

[+HerNibs]

My general rule of thumb is if I wouldn't say or do the same in front of my husband I shouldn't go there.

Excellent rule. We do the same.

Nibs

[Michelle]

Excellent rule. We do the same.

Nibs

I'm the flirt in our family. Fortunately all of our friend's wives don't take me seriously because it's obvious how much I love my husband. It can be, and has been, a problem when there is a divorce and a new girlfriend is in the picture. They aren't quite sure how to take me at first.

[Fluffybunny]

My general rule of thumb is if I wouldn't say or do the same in front of my husband I shouldn't go there.

We do exactly the same thing, and it has worked out very well.

[digitalartist]

It actually depends. If you are not involved with anyone then online flirting wouldn't be cheating, at least as far as your part goes. It might be for the other person if they were involved.

[Persia]

Too much rules ... why we can not live without those rules ?!