Transcripts of 911 calls taken from random locations.
1. Dispatcher: Nine-one-one what's the nature of your emergency please?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine-eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine- eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one.
Dispatcher: Yes ma'am. Nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid!
2. Dispatcher: Nine-one-one. Please state your emergency.
Caller: Yea, okay. Bill got hurt.
Dispatcher: Who's Bill?
Caller: Just some dude I know. We were tossing the Nerf around, and the TV fell and cut up his leg.
Dispatcher: We'll send someone right over.
Caller (to someone in the living room): Get the keg outta here, dude!
3. Dispatcher: Nine-one-one. What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!
4. Dispatcher: Nine-one-one.
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Damn...I think I'm gonna pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster. Damn...(breathing heavy)
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the police.
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?
Dispatcher: 911 What is your emergency?
Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.
Dispatcher: Excuse me?
Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?
Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it!
Dispatcher: "911."Caller: "Hi, is this the police?"Dispatcher: "This is 911. Do you need police assistance?"
Caller: "Well, I don't know who to call. Can you tell me how to cook a turkey? I've never cooked one before."
Dispatcher: "911. Fire or emergency?"
Caller: "My power's out!"
Dispatcher: "Yes, sir, we're aware of that. Do you have an emergency?"
Caller: "No, I don't have a damn emergency. I just want to know if I'm going to be getting a rebate for the length of time I'm without power."
Dispatcher: "Uhhh, no, sir, you won't be charged for the electricity you didn't use."
Caller: "Well, that's more like it!
"Dispatcher: "911. What's the address of your emergency?"
Caller: "I need to know what I can do about someone who came into my home and put boogers on my wall."
Dispatcher: "Did you invite this person into your home?"
Caller: "Yes, but I didn't give him permission to put boogers on the walls.
"Dispatcher: "911. What is your emergency?"
Male Caller: "You have got people working in the school right now. And they've been working all night violating the noise code over here."
Dispatcher: "Sir, a noise complaint is not an emergency call. You'll have to call on the business line."
Male Caller: "Well how about if I shoot them, would it be an emergency then?"
Dispatcher: "Sure would."
Male Caller: "Alright.
Female Caller: "I am trapped in my house."
Dispatcher: "Trapped? Is someone holding you there?"
Female Caller: "Someone? No. But there is a frog on the front porch."
Dispatcher: "A frog?"
Female Caller: "Yes, a frog."
Dispatcher: "Okay, but what is preventing you from leaving the house?"
Female Caller: "I told you. There is a frog on the front porch and I am afraid of frogs."
Dispatcher: "And you don't have another door to the house?"
Female Caller: "No. There is only one door and I can't get out of the house with the frog sitting there."
Dispatcher: "Why don't you take a broom and sweep the frog off the porch?"
Female Caller: "I can't do that. I told you, I am afraid of frogs. He might get me."
Dispatcher: "Um...I'm not sure I can help you with this."