Dakotabre Posted March 20, 2007 #1 Share Posted March 20, 2007 Ok, I'm not sure if I'm allowed to post a thread asking for advice, but I guess it will be removed if not allowed.... Ok, so this probably won't be a big deal to some, but this is bothering me... My Grandma passed away yesterday, and she is being buried on Friday. She left strict instructions that she did not want any Priests or anyone religious doing her funeral, as she doesn't belive in God. I don't know if this should or not, but it's bothering me. I won't say anything aloud so that others can hear me, but is there something maybe that I should say quietly during her funeral? I believe in God and in Christian faith, but I've only been to Church a few times so I'm not sure on what I should say. Or if I should say anything?? Any advice would be appreciated :-x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redhen Posted March 20, 2007 #2 Share Posted March 20, 2007 Ok, I'm not sure if I'm allowed to post a thread asking for advice, but I guess it will be removed if not allowed.... Ok, so this probably won't be a big deal to some, but this is bothering me... My Grandma passed away yesterday, and she is being buried on Friday. She left strict instructions that she did not want any Priests or anyone religious doing her funeral, as she doesn't belive in God. I don't know if this should or not, but it's bothering me. I won't say anything aloud so that others can hear me, but is there something maybe that I should say quietly during her funeral? I believe in God and in Christian faith, but I've only been to Church a few times so I'm not sure on what I should say. Or if I should say anything?? Any advice would be appreciated :-x Well, if you're Catholic, just type "Mass Intentions" into Google, you'll find several online Mass Intention forms. That way you don't have to say anything. sorry for your loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eqgumby Posted March 20, 2007 #3 Share Posted March 20, 2007 I say respect her wishes. If YOU want to say something, say a quiet prayer. I am not a huge fan of organized religion myself, so the few times I found myself in a similar situation, I found a quiet spot and a quiet moment, and silently thought my piece. I felt better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bumblesue Posted March 20, 2007 #4 Share Posted March 20, 2007 Ok, I'm not sure if I'm allowed to post a thread asking for advice, but I guess it will be removed if not allowed.... Ok, so this probably won't be a big deal to some, but this is bothering me... My Grandma passed away yesterday, and she is being buried on Friday. She left strict instructions that she did not want any Priests or anyone religious doing her funeral, as she doesn't belive in God. I don't know if this should or not, but it's bothering me. I won't say anything aloud so that others can hear me, but is there something maybe that I should say quietly during her funeral? I believe in God and in Christian faith, but I've only been to Church a few times so I'm not sure on what I should say. Or if I should say anything?? Any advice would be appreciated :-x she just ask that no religious rites be preformed. that doesnt mean that you cannot sit and pray quietly. ask god to take care of her according to his plan. to give you the strength and understanding to go through all of this. he will be with you. i hope this helps. my opinion of course. i will say a prayer for you and your family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purplos Posted March 20, 2007 #5 Share Posted March 20, 2007 Here's the way I look at it.... Your grandma (my condolences) didn't believe in a god and doesn't want any religious ceremony at her funeral. I'm assuming that is being done for her. You, on the other hand, have every right to say a prayer if you want to. I grew up going to a Christian church and, from what I remember, there is nothing you "SHOULD" say. Its totally your choice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dakotabre Posted March 20, 2007 Author #6 Share Posted March 20, 2007 Thank you for your thoughts, condolences and advice. She was a stubborn old Gran, but she was the absolute best I think you are all right, I should just make a quiet prayer. I just wasn't sure if, I don't know how to say this, as Im kind of 'new' to religion so I'm still understanding it all. I'm pretty sure Gran won't go to heaven because she doesn't believe in God, so I just wasn't sure if there was maybe something I could say to God to still look after her even if she isn't in heaven... does that make sense Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissMelsWell Posted March 20, 2007 #7 Share Posted March 20, 2007 Thank you for your thoughts, condolences and advice. She was a stubborn old Gran, but she was the absolute best I think you are all right, I should just make a quiet prayer. I just wasn't sure if, I don't know how to say this, as Im kind of 'new' to religion so I'm still understanding it all. I'm pretty sure Gran won't go to heaven because she doesn't believe in God, so I just wasn't sure if there was maybe something I could say to God to still look after her even if she isn't in heaven... does that make sense aw sweetie, you can say any kind of quiet prayer you'd like. For you, your family, even your Gran. It's between you and God, no one else. I wouldn't assume that Gran isn't going to Heaven, there are a lot of Christians (like me) and non-Christians who believe that Heaven isn't just for people who believe in God. It sounds like there were a lot of people in her life that loved her, and that might just be enough but we just may never know until our own time comes. Your Gran is on a new journey and may that road be one that is joyus for her. Be well, celebrate her life on Friday--she would like that I'm sure. My best to your and your family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaPucelle Posted March 20, 2007 #8 Share Posted March 20, 2007 Hi, first of all, I am truly sorry about your grandma. I know this is a great loss to you and your family. I have lost both my grandmas and I really miss them a lot! I think that you should probably honor your grandma's desire not to have a "religious" funeral. I'm sure she had her reasons for not being a believer, and she deserves to have that respected. Still, as some others have said, this does not mean, IMHO, that you therefore have no right to express your own beliefs, in a quiet and non-disruptive way. You can quietly say a prayer for your grandmother, God will hear you even if no one else does! It sounds like you really loved your grandma, she must have been a remarkable lady!! I honestly don't know what happens to "non-believers" after death, but I do remember something Jesus told his disciples when they protested against his kindness to a "non-believer", Jesus told them: "She has been forgiven much because she has loved much." To me that doesn't sound like God judges us just on what we "believe"--God seems to care much more about how we lived our lives, about how much love we have shown other people. It sounds like your grandma is one of those people who both gave and received much love in her life. So go ahead and pray for her--for all we know she was welcomed right into heaven!! God bless--you and all your family will be in my thoughts and prayers!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redhen Posted March 20, 2007 #9 Share Posted March 20, 2007 I'm pretty sure Gran won't go to heaven because she doesn't believe in God, so I just wasn't sure if there was maybe something I could say to God to still look after her even if she isn't in heaven... does that make sense No problem, just type "mass intention purgatory" into Google. pax Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Manfred Posted March 20, 2007 #10 Share Posted March 20, 2007 Ok, I'm not sure if I'm allowed to post a thread asking for advice, but I guess it will be removed if not allowed.... Ok, so this probably won't be a big deal to some, but this is bothering me... My Grandma passed away yesterday, and she is being buried on Friday. She left strict instructions that she did not want any Priests or anyone religious doing her funeral, as she doesn't belive in God. I don't know if this should or not, but it's bothering me. I won't say anything aloud so that others can hear me, but is there something maybe that I should say quietly during her funeral? I believe in God and in Christian faith, but I've only been to Church a few times so I'm not sure on what I should say. Or if I should say anything?? Any advice would be appreciated :-x Respect her beliefs. If you don't, and there's an afterlife, you'll have a sore ear your first few days in paradise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eqgumby Posted March 20, 2007 #11 Share Posted March 20, 2007 I always felt that so long as even one person loved you in life, REALLY loved you, you could go nowhere but to heaven. Look, if Gran was a basically good person, and loved you and her family, and you feel she should have some reward (heaven or whatever you believe), just say it, and I believe it will be so. If you want to see her, you will again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalien Posted March 20, 2007 #12 Share Posted March 20, 2007 Just say it in your head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moondoggy Posted March 20, 2007 #13 Share Posted March 20, 2007 Respect her wishes is the best thing to do. A funeral is for the living and not the dead. You can pray and talk things over with God about it for sure, but I would think that God is far more loving and forgiving than we may think, so do not go negative on the matter and believe that she is in a better place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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