Possession? Domminate Tulpa? Help.

[SomeoneSomewhere]

Long time lurker, finally decided to make an account for some help.

Hello, I'm going to go ahead and get everything that may 'debunk' this out of the way.

I have been evaluated by a psychitrist and diagnosed with OCD, not DID or anything similar. (The OCD is very specific as well, having nothing to do with this)

I do not have an identaty issue, as I know exactly who I am. I even began taking Psychology to get a better understanding of myself. I just exist in a body that I was not born in.

I have been like this for 2 years, possible appearing faintly for 6.

The girl who previously owned this body died at the age of 13, and the body had control for 2 years (it had a basic social-system, as well as regualr instincts so few people noticed the difference.)

I have been on several other websites (mostly medical and scientific stuff, as religious tends to agitate me.) This is my first use of a paranormal board, but it seem to be my best bet.

Now, here's the rundown:

My body is 17 years old (one month till birthday though), I've been concious of my own existance for 2. Before "I" was born, the person who was actually born in this body had control. She killed herself. I have reason to beleive the faintest traces of my existance have been around since "I" was 12, as I still have first-person emotional reactions to things that happened in middle school, however, I do not feel any connection to anything prior.

I have something similar to gender dysphoria, however, instead of it just being my bits it's my whole existance. Name, face, body, shape, size,and I don't even care about gender.

I look in the mirror and I see a body I blantantly stole from a dead girl, and I'm trapped inside with guilt of not knowing who or what I really am, as well as the fact that a girl is dead and nobody knows. I used to beleive I was a alter ego, or second personality, however I still retain all memories of this body (though not emotional connections), and did not have any control of my existance.

I beleive I may have been either a passing spirit (or if we take the religious route, a demon) that took advantage of a weak soul and got a healthy body. This seems a bit far-fetched however, so on a scienctific route I beleive I could also be a 'accidental tulpa', created by a loansome girl and was left to keep the body alive to avoid stressing out her family.

There are several items hinting at both possibilities, such as I am (to a small degree) psychic, and have a strange effect on people I meet where they tell me their problems in life (with or without my consent.) People also tend to naturally put me out of mind the moment I am out of sight, especially if I have not talked to them in real life for long periods of time.

I am also highly self-aware, where I can attribute all my thoughts and actions to their roots, though I usually avoid doing such as my OCD ends up looping the thought process into a depressing one.

One thing I've also noticed is I'm out of touch with time. I have trouble differenting years from each other (I regualrly have to do math to figure out when and where things have happened through attributing them to long-term things, such as school levels.) Just now I lost two hours of time, it was 11 when I last checked the time and I didn't even notice a minuite had passed.

I've tried reading around to see if anyone else has had a similiar experience, but so far (medically,scientifically, and religiously) it has failed. I want to know what the hell I am, and if there's any purpose behind my existance other then replacing a dead girl. I'm not too upset with the body I aquired, it's attractive to some extent, but it's just not mine.

[Mr.United_Nations]

We can't really help you medically unfortunately

[Rlyeh]

How did she die yet leaving her body alive? Do you possess any memories from before you took control of this body?

For 2 years the body had no mind controlling it and no one noticed? Really?

One thing I've also noticed is I'm out of touch with time. I have trouble differenting years from each other (I regualrly have to do math to figure out when and where things have happened through attributing them to long-term things, such as school levels.) Just now I lost two hours of time, it was 11 when I last checked the time and I didn't even notice a minuite had passed.

Perhaps that is your real problem and you're filling in the gaps with stories?

As newagers aren't fans of the current understanding of mental disorders, they invent magical explanations for things like autism, dissociative disorders, etc.

You're describing something that sounds like the dissociative disorder that newagers call a "Walk-in", en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walk-in

However I'd suggest getting professional help.

Edited April 27, 2015 by Rlyeh

[Imaginarynumber1]

If you truly believe the things in your post, you should seek out immediate psychiatric help.

[She-ra]

Welcome to UM SomeoneSomewhere.

I hope you discuss all of this with your doctor. Maybe even print it up and take it to your next appointment

Hope you find answers soon. Outside of some sort of dissociative identity disorder I don't know what to tell you. Information on that here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissociative_identity_disorder

Is it possible you just have a draw or curiosity to being a woman?

Do you know what this girl's name is you are talking about in your post? Do you know anything about her that you might be able to google and see if you can find anything on her death or how she was in life and see if you can verify anything you are sensing or feeling?

Would you be able to find someone who is experienced in *crossing over* people who have died? I sit on-the-fence with my belief's so if it's some girl *haunting* you maybe she needs to be sent away or crossed over.

I'm not really sure what else I can say to help you with all of this. I seriously hope you figure this out and please discuss all of this with your doctor. Whatever it is I'm sure you don't feel very good about all of it so I hope you get the help you need soon. Keep us posted please

[barbco196]

I didn't have to read past your comment "religious agitates me" to figure out the problem. Whether you want to believe in God is your choice but I have to tell you that in my opinion satan is working hard on you. He will lead you to believe things like this. You have nothing to lose by picking a Bible and learning more about God.

[Paranormalcy]

I... don't think religion or Satan is the problem here.

I have been evaluated by a psychitrist and diagnosed with OCD, not DID or anything similar. (The OCD is very specific as well, having nothing to do with this)

I do not have an identaty issue, as I know exactly who I am. I even began taking Psychology to get a better understanding of myself. I just exist in a body that I was not born in.

I'm not asking or demanding evidence or anything like that, I'm just going to state that I find this extremely unlikely. That someone describes themselves as having "a body that is x years old" and "I stole this body from a dead girl". I have seen one or two posts like this in the last year, in fact nearly identical (or even the same poster?) You have to understand how not only "little" sense it makes, but NONE - this is literally not something any rational person can accept or would post. It's not an insult or an attack, but an observation of the whole presented situation.

I have been like this for 2 years, possible appearing faintly for 6.

This highlights the whole thing. People don't "appear faintly" in their lives for random or intermittent periods - we're full physical beings all the time, 24/7. The descriptions otherwise suggest complete lack of memory or consciousness or particular absence or disruption of certain functions.

There are known psychological/physiological conditions that encompass this type of self-report, including "alien hand syndrome", thinking one is a zombie, thinking one is a copy of someone else or such. Given this, there is essentially no chance that no "clean bill of health" was given by any accredited health authority.

With that said, I wish the OP the best and find it tragic to hear of someone having this type of experience and hope whatever they ultimately find to help them puts them at ease or is able to solve the problem they're facing.

[freetoroam]

I didn't have to read past your comment "religious agitates me" to figure out the problem. Whether you want to believe in God is your choice but I have to tell you that in my opinion satan is working hard on you. He will lead you to believe things like this. You have nothing to lose by picking a Bible and learning more about God.

Yes I would have something to lose....my time.

Keep your preaching to your church, some of us are not taking in by your god and satan fantasies. The OP does not need a bible and does not need some woo woo story about how satan is working hard on them.

The OP needs some mental issues addressing, it seems you do too, although you both have different reasons, it all boils down to the same thing in the end = you both need your feet back on terra firma and your minds back within reality, some may need medication to help them achieve this, some just need to put down their "books" and not take every word as gospel.

[barbco196]

Yes I would have something to lose....my time.

Keep your preaching to your church, some of us are not taking in by your god and satan fantasies. The OP does not need a bible and does not need some woo woo story about how satan is working hard on them.

The OP needs some mental issues addressing, it seems you do too, although you both have different reasons, it all boils down to the same thing in the end = you both need your feet back on terra firma and your minds back within reality, some may need medication to help them achieve this, some just need to put down their "books" and not take every word as gospel.

And with that comment all I can say is "you choose your path. God gave you free will"

[freetoroam]

And with that comment all I can say is "you choose your path. God gave you free will"

Haha, no, "god" gave me nothing. I am apart of nature and doing my time on this planet given to me by my parents.

[XenoFish]

I didn't have to read past your comment "religious agitates me" to figure out the problem. Whether you want to believe in God is your choice but I have to tell you that in my opinion satan is working hard on you. He will lead you to believe things like this. You have nothing to lose by picking a Bible and learning more about God.

So you exchange one imaginary friend for another? Sounds reasonable.

[barbco196]

So you exchange one imaginary friend for another? Sounds reasonable.

That "imaginary friend" has been there for me through some very dark times. I haven't always believed. For the first 38 yrs of my life I would have said the same things you are saying. I'm 41 now and the things I've experienced since meeting Him, have given me purpose and hope. So, I'm willing to believe in God and risk the chance of Him being "imaginary" if my life is better because of it.

[Paranormalcy]

This really isn't the thread for this, and even if it was, this is pretty adversarial, guys. This is going to get locked anyway though, maybe you might as well get it out of your systems. Carry on.

[barbco196]

This really isn't the thread for this, and even if it was, this is pretty adversarial, guys. This is going to get locked anyway though, maybe you might as well get it out of your systems. Carry on.

Interesting. The op is inquiring about demons. The mention of God seems quite relevant. I don't want to debate His existence. Their choice.

[XenoFish]

That "imaginary friend" has been there for me through some very dark times. I haven't always believed. For the first 38 yrs of my life I would have said the same things you are saying. I'm 41 now and the things I've experienced since meeting Him, have given me purpose and hope. So, I'm willing to believe in God and risk the chance of Him being "imaginary" if my life is better because of it.

I'm fine with your beliefs. Doesn't bother me a bit. It's if you start going off the deep end an become a fundie. Where you start casting judgment on other because we don't agree. I had an imaginary friend once, several dozens of them. Comes with being an occultist. Crazy time in my life.

Edited October 16, 2015 by XenoFish

[Still Waters]

The OP hasn't been back on UM since starting this topic six months ago. Any replies or advice posted won't even be read. In view of this I think we can safely say we are done here.

*Closed*