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Traditional acts of chivalry 'suspicious'

chivalry

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#1    Still Waters

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Posted 15 January 2013 - 02:32 PM

Traditional acts of chivalry are being frowned upon because "standards have slipped" and a noble gesture is seen as suspicious, according to researchers.

A survey claims most women are striving for independence do not expect token acts of kindness like giving up a seat on a packed bus or carrying shopping bags.

Mark Hall, Gentleman Creation Officer for Socked.co.uk, said: "Men's standards have slipped so far over recent years that any offer of chivalry from a gentleman knocks a woman off their guard and is viewed with outright suspicion.

http://www.telegraph...suspicious.html

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#2    Taun

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Posted 15 January 2013 - 02:51 PM

I still do things like that and have only once been scolded for being a chauvanist... I held a door for a woman who was just behind me... she stood there and lectured me for 5 full minutes about being a chauvanist pig (her exact words)... then when she started to go through the door I was still holding open... I shut it on her face (not hard) and walked away as she yelled at me again...

Most are politely thankful of 'good manners' and that is the end of it...  To be honest though I hold doors for anyone following me - not just women, and I've given up my seat to as many men as women...

With me it's a matter of respect not anything 'suspicious'... I feel that people deserve respectful treatment until they prove that they do not deserve it...

Good manners never hurt...


Of course I'm an old dinosaur and I know that the "young-uns" of today go by different standards...

Edited by Taun, 15 January 2013 - 02:52 PM.


#3    Rlyeh

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Posted 15 January 2013 - 02:53 PM

I'm not discriminatory, I'm an ass to everyone.


#4    wolfknight

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Posted 15 January 2013 - 03:00 PM

A gentleman is alway a gentleman and a ass is alway an ass


#5    sarah_444

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Posted 15 January 2013 - 03:06 PM

It doesn't even occur to me to be suspicious when someone holds the door open for me.  Man, Woman or Child...it's just a nice thing to do. And I will always hold the door open if someone is behind me regardless of who they are.

Quote

98% said they would like to be bought flowers, but only 32% had actually received flowers in the past twelve months

I can see that...that's why I buy my own damn flowers. lol


#6    Rlyeh

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Posted 15 January 2013 - 03:12 PM

 wolfknight, on 15 January 2013 - 03:00 PM, said:

A gentleman is alway a gentleman and a ass is alway an ass
The gentleman is facing extinction.


#7    Child of Bast

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Posted 15 January 2013 - 03:43 PM

I think it might be better if these acts of kindness weren't viewed in such a male orientated light. I don't take public transportation often, but when I do, if an elderly person or mother with small tots boards, I give up my seat. It's an act of kindness and respect as far as I'm concerned. A small child is far easier to handle if you can sit and hold them in your lap or if they themselves can sit down. And an elderly person, well I think they've earned the right to sit before I do. I don't consider myself chivalrous because I do either of these things, simply well mannered. I, too, hold doors open for others, both men and women. Typically, because I am a woman, I hold the door open behind me for them, but if I arrive at a door at the same time as another person (male or female) and their arms are full of stuff, I open the door for them. Sometimes I do it even if I'm not going into the same place.

People aren't raised with any measure of respect or manners anymore so, yes, any of these will be viewed with suspicion. It's sad, but there you go.

As far as a man being able to wear a dress, I say only if they don't look better than me. :P

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#8    wolfknight

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Posted 15 January 2013 - 04:00 PM

I was raised to be a gentleman. I guess it is a southern thing or a family thing. Was taught to respect my elders and always open a door for a lady.


#9    Child of Bast

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Posted 15 January 2013 - 04:13 PM

I suspect a bit of both, wolfknight. :)

No great mind has ever existed without a touch of madness. ~ Aristotle

#10    Mantis914

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Posted 15 January 2013 - 06:01 PM

I still open the door for people especially if they are elderly or walking in with a handful of stuff.  I've had people tell me about horror stories of women (in particular) that go on a tirade just for opening the door for them.  I do occasionally get those that walk right in without a thank you and I'll yell after them, "You're Welcome!"  I agree with Wolfknight in that maybe it is a Southern thing because I was always raised to help others especially elders and ladies and a lot of my friends from here are the same but friends from other regions are more indifferent towards people.  I do have my limits though...


#11    Michelle

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Posted 15 January 2013 - 06:17 PM

I find that most people are pretty considerate. I always say thank you when someone holds the door open for me or leaves a space for me to pull out in traffic and I often do it for others. It isn't uncommon to be in a crowded grocery store and see someone with only a few items in their cart to be ushered towards the front of the line by friendly customers with a full cart not in a hurry.


#12    Sweetpumper

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Posted 15 January 2013 - 06:25 PM

This is me:



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#13    Jessica Christ

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Posted 17 January 2013 - 11:46 AM

Chivalry is a social compact between two parties. Both must participate or chivalry fails. It is not just about the person holding the door but the other walking through to accept.

The author of this article strangley ignores this and assumes it is all about men. I don't believe chivalry will return by men merely "upping their game". Does this connotate that there is winners and by default losers when it comes to chivalry?  

Chivalry is also more than male-female relations. One reason for its decline is that many are unwilling to socialize with strangers now. Remind the author that chivalry is also about tipping hats or nodding as a greeting in passing among other small niceties that used to make life pleasant. If people would look up from their phones perhaps it would return.






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