92 replies to this topic

[R4z3rsPar4d0x]

Night Walker, on 20 October 2012 - 10:04 PM, said:

The Far Side as a parenting manual:




Some similarities/variations on existing themes:

"Step on a crack - break your momma's back" - If Devo said it then it must be true...

"Seeds will grow in your stomach" - in the days before seedless varieties this made eating watermelons very time-consuming. It took me years to overcome a fear of passionfruit.

Confusion over guerrillas/gorillas - "Why are they fighting monkeys?!?"

"Gum doesn't digest and will get stuck in your stomach"

"Fear and respect the escalator":


"Sitting too close to the TV will make you go blind" - I suppose that is better than "Move your fat head!"


A couple of new ones:

"Eat your bread crusts and your hair will grow curly" - supposedly a good thing...

Frogs give you warts.

Night Walker, on 20 October 2012 - 10:04 PM, said:

The Far Side as a parenting manual:




Some similarities/variations on existing themes:

"Step on a crack - break your momma's back" - If Devo said it then it must be true...

"Seeds will grow in your stomach" - in the days before seedless varieties this made eating watermelons very time-consuming. It took me years to overcome a fear of passionfruit.

Confusion over guerrillas/gorillas - "Why are they fighting monkeys?!?"

"Gum doesn't digest and will get stuck in your stomach"

"Fear and respect the escalator":


"Sitting too close to the TV will make you go blind" - I suppose that is better than "Move your fat head!"


A couple of new ones:

"Eat your bread crusts and your hair will grow curly" - supposedly a good thing...

Frogs give you warts.

I know for a fact that the Frogs give you warts one is a myth, because my cousin had a swamp in his backyard and all the time we would go and catch frogs, I never developed any warts.

Oh and Im very careful on the escalators when I was younger I always had this fear that I would get a shoelace caught in one and it would tear me apart

[little_dreamer]

"If you swallow your gum, it will take 7 years to digest it".

"Drinking coffee will stunt your growth"

"There was a woman who had her toes caught in the escalator..."   Because of this story, my eyes are totally fixed on the escalator as I'm getting off it, obsessed with not making a wrong move so it doesn't happen to me.

[ImaLoner]

little_dreamer, on 22 October 2012 - 12:29 AM, said:

"There was a woman who had her toes caught in the escalator..."   Because of this story, my eyes are totally fixed on the escalator as I'm getting off it, obsessed with not making a wrong move so it doesn't happen to me.

To you and all those who mentioned escalators.. I remembered years ago watching this episode of Rescue 911 (It was the only episode which stuck in my head after all of these years):

[little_dreamer]

ImaLoner, on 22 October 2012 - 02:37 AM, said:

To you and all those who mentioned escalators.. I remembered years ago watching this episode of Rescue 911 (It was the only episode which stuck in my head after all of these years):

Hmm.  The mother just lets her son just sit on the escalator.  I wonder if she gave him plastic dry cleaning bags to play with as a child as well.

[R4z3rsPar4d0x]

ImaLoner, on 22 October 2012 - 02:37 AM, said:

To you and all those who mentioned escalators.. I remembered years ago watching this episode of Rescue 911 (It was the only episode which stuck in my head after all of these years):

WOW Im glad the kid is okay....But Its just like the Mallrats video said

Edited by R4z3rsPar4d0x, 23 October 2012 - 01:03 AM.

[ImaLoner]

R4z3rsPar4d0x, on 23 October 2012 - 01:02 AM, said:

WOW Im glad the kid is okay....But Its just like the Mallrats video said

True.  I couldn't agree more.

little_dreamer, on 23 October 2012 - 12:10 AM, said:

Hmm.  The mother just lets her son just sit on the escalator.  I wonder if she gave him plastic dry cleaning bags to play with as a child as well.

I thought along those same lines.  If that happened this day and age, that mom would be charged with neglect at the very least.  I've always been overprotective with my kids, and even then they had accidents (mostly when their dad was supposed to be watching them, but I digress).  I admit I've scared my kids with the escalator story, actually mentioning the kid in the Rescue 911 video.  My mom did her fair share of warnings, while my Papa would be like, just let her do this or that, she'll learn...  lol

[Catz]

My mom use to say (maybe it was my granny - I can't remember)

• that playing with matches will cause you to pee in your bed;
  
• I should eat avocado as it makes you smart;
  
• If you had a wart, you should expose it to a full moon and it will fall off;  (I never had a wart so I could not test that one)
  
• Swallowing chewing gum will knot your intestines;
  
• If I don't brush my teeth, the tooth mouse will not bring me any money when I place the tooth in my shoe next to my bed (I really believed this, I use to write letters to the mouse, telling him where to walk as to avoid my cat.  My mom would then write letters back on the mouse's behalf :-)
  
• I also firmly believed in Santa Clause.  Of course, If I was not well behaved, I was told that Santa would not bring me any gifts!  I once even hid behind a chair as I wanted to see him so badly.

[little_dreamer]

Catz, on 23 October 2012 - 01:29 PM, said:

• If I don't brush my teeth, the tooth mouse will not bring me any money when I place the tooth in my shoe next to my bed (I really believed this, I use to write letters to the mouse, telling him where to walk as to avoid my cat.  My mom would then write letters back on the mouse's behalf :-)

Over here kids are told about the tooth fairy that leaves money under your pillow if you leave the tooth there.

[Eldorado]

If there's a sudden change in wind your miserable face could stay like that forever, so you're better smiling.  

[Eldorado]

little_dreamer, on 24 October 2012 - 02:36 AM, said:

Over here kids are told about the tooth fairy that leaves money under your pillow if you leave the tooth there.

The Tooth Fairy has been outed as a predatory paedophile, over here.  It will be Santa next, no doubt.

[meryt-tetisheri]

Eldorado, on 24 October 2012 - 06:07 PM, said:

The Tooth Fairy has been outed as a predatory paedophile, over here.  It will be Santa next, no doubt.

How sad and arid would children's lives be if adults strip away all the magic, enchantment and imagination?! They are children for only a few precious years, adults for the rest of their lives...

[WatchingTheStars]

My parents weren't big myth tellers. For me, it was always the big kid that wanted to mess with me.

One kid told me when I was about seven about Bloody Mary and it absolutely terrified me. I would always close the bathroom doors so I wouldn't see the mirror. But my parents have a mirror and sink connected to their room (the toilet and shower is behind a door) so I was always scared to death of my parents room because I couldn't trap Mary behind a door. Even today, their room still has a strangely ominous feeling to me.

[Catz]

Eldorado, on 24 October 2012 - 06:04 PM, said:

If there's a sudden change in wind your miserable face could stay like that forever, so you're better smiling.  

I remember, I was told If I pulled a face, that when the church bell rings, my face would stay like that forever!

[Old Man Waffles]

Night Walker, on 20 October 2012 - 10:04 PM, said:

The Far Side as a parenting manual:




Some similarities/variations on existing themes:

"Step on a crack - break your momma's back" - If Devo said it then it must be true...

"Seeds will grow in your stomach" - in the days before seedless varieties this made eating watermelons very time-consuming. It took me years to overcome a fear of passionfruit.

Confusion over guerrillas/gorillas - "Why are they fighting monkeys?!?"

"Gum doesn't digest and will get stuck in your stomach"

"Fear and respect the escalator":


"Sitting too close to the TV will make you go blind" - I suppose that is better than "Move your fat head!"


A couple of new ones:

"Eat your bread crusts and your hair will grow curly" - supposedly a good thing...

Frogs give you warts.

Yes! It all makes sense now... My parents are both gary Larson fans

[R4z3rsPar4d0x]

little_dreamer, on 22 October 2012 - 12:29 AM, said:

"If you swallow your gum, it will take 7 years to digest it".

"Drinking coffee will stunt your growth"

"There was a woman who had her toes caught in the escalator..."   Because of this story, my eyes are totally fixed on the escalator as I'm getting off it, obsessed with not making a wrong move so it doesn't happen to me.

I wonder if that gum one is true