thepsychoticseaotter Posted November 30, 2003 #1 Share Posted November 30, 2003 Deleted...see latest post by author. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kryso Posted December 4, 2003 #2 Share Posted December 4, 2003 I’m impressed. I enjoyed reading this! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thepsychoticseaotter Posted December 5, 2003 Author #3 Share Posted December 5, 2003 Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thefirstman Posted December 6, 2003 #4 Share Posted December 6, 2003 That was a very interesting read,i like this a lot! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doomgirl Posted December 15, 2003 #5 Share Posted December 15, 2003 Excellent work Otter, I took great pleasure reading it, speaking as a writer myself. It's nice to read others creativeness. sorry forgot to add this bit, not picking, but somethings just don't sound right, but other then that it's very good and can't wait to read more At first she had paid it no mind to the dreams the jewelry she would need and picked up a long staff newly made Watching in horror, she tried to turn her eyes from the horror. (second use of horror) Shavonnes features were hid by a covering of blood and dirt (try using hidden or concealled) The part of the face not hid by the cloak was covered by a dark mask (same thing) The other two walked on Julian joined them as they entered the settlement. (needs a comma) After here sudden suspension (spelling error) the structure was built open surrounded by just (missing something) His face hid by a stone mask (use of hid) Doomie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thepsychoticseaotter Posted December 16, 2003 Author #6 Share Posted December 16, 2003 Thanks Doomie, , Like I said before it's an early version The rewrite while slow is doing much better... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doomgirl Posted December 16, 2003 #7 Share Posted December 16, 2003 Hi Seaotter YW, just hope you didn't think I was picking, I know I like it when someone tells me what they think and what they don't understand, and I enjoyed it very much, I think I had dreams about it last night. Doomie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thepsychoticseaotter Posted January 10, 2004 Author #8 Share Posted January 10, 2004 Never doomie. Sorry It took so long to respond I have been doing reasearch on the Rewrite as well as working on the overall story arc. I do have the outline done and it will be alot different than the short story!!! I am very excited and have had alot of good feedback on this story as well. Incidentally I am prepairing In the Markets of Marripesh for submission to a magazine . I have a good feeling on that as well. So now all I need some suggestions on both stories. And if you want we can discuss the rewrite here as well. Thanks Josh. P.S. doomie, I'm falttered to hear you dreamed of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thepsychoticseaotter Posted January 31, 2004 Author #9 Share Posted January 31, 2004 Sorry guys but I've made too many changes to it to keep the story here. I am working on a new short one that encompasses parts of the changes so you'll see what I am doing soon. ( I hope) If your interested in reading it e-mail me and I will see what I can do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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