Well, I went over to the old apartment on Saturday to pick up my son and to go over the divorce papers. We started filling stuff out but it wasn't long before it got heated and I ended up leaving without finishing the paperwork. She told me that she's moving away on March 9th which is so close that it's just freaking me out. My son came over for what was going to be a 2 night visit but his alergies were so bad by day 2 that he had to leave early. What a bummer. I've been talking to a lawyer about keeping him here but since I don't have a job or my own place (living with parents who have pets so it's bad) it doesn't seem likely that he'd get to stay. I just know that the day they leave it's going to kill me. Don't know what to do anymore. Feeling pretty scared about life in general.
2
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Divorce, loss, and starting over.
Sorry such a heavy topic!
Started by Guest_Untitled__* , Feb 02 2012 05:40 PM
Started by Guest_Untitled__* , Feb 02 2012 05:40 PM
65 replies to this topic
#46
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Posted 20 February 2012 - 11:43 PM
#47
ninjadude
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Posted 21 February 2012 - 12:43 AM
J.P., on 20 February 2012 - 11:43 PM, said:
I just know that the day they leave it's going to kill me. Don't know what to do anymore. Feeling pretty scared about life in general.
You don't know me but I and others have been reading your posts. I can't really offer any advice or help but I hope things work out for you. You post heartfelt pain and I hear you.
"Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now!""
- Friedrich Nietzsche
- Friedrich Nietzsche
#48
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Posted 21 February 2012 - 03:38 PM
ninjadude, on 21 February 2012 - 12:43 AM, said:
You don't know me but I and others have been reading your posts. I can't really offer any advice or help but I hope things work out for you. You post heartfelt pain and I hear you.
To be honest I've lost contact with everyone I use to be friends with and this site is the only place I can get stuff off my chest. All I know is that venting is good for my soul and I appreciate everyone putting up with my doing so.
#49
MissMelsWell
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Posted 22 February 2012 - 12:18 AM
J.P., on 21 February 2012 - 03:38 PM, said:
Thank you, that means alot. Every time I post I think "why are you telling a bunch of strangers about your personal problems?". I often feel bad that I'm burdening everyone. I have always prefered to talk about stuff instead of keeping it inside.
To be honest I've lost contact with everyone I use to be friends with and this site is the only place I can get stuff off my chest. All I know is that venting is good for my soul and I appreciate everyone putting up with my doing so.
To be honest I've lost contact with everyone I use to be friends with and this site is the only place I can get stuff off my chest. All I know is that venting is good for my soul and I appreciate everyone putting up with my doing so.
Find a different lawyer... most states won't allow a parent to take a child out of state without a mutually agreed upon custody plan in place... if they do... it's parental abduction and taken very very seriously. Also, if she does leave before the paper work is complete, she'll have to come back to your present location to complete it all. Every meeting, every mediation, every court date... remind her of that. If she doesn't come back for those kinds of things (whcih could be frequent) she could find herself in contempt.
Your lawyer isn't doing you any big favors right now. Find a different one.
Edited by MissMelsWell, 22 February 2012 - 12:18 AM.
"It's time for the American people to stand up and shrug off the shackles of our government at TSA at the airport" Ron Paul
"Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." Benjamin Franklin
"Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." Benjamin Franklin
#50
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Posted 01 March 2012 - 07:00 PM
Well, I havn't been posting because amid all this chaos my mother has taken ill and been hospitalized twice. Yesterday she almost died. The doctors said that she had a large ulcer burst and had severe internal bleeding. They said it's due to stress and I feel like it's my fault because of this divorce and everything. What next?
#51
J. K.
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Posted 01 March 2012 - 07:13 PM
Not your fault, brother - not your fault! She already had the ulcer due to her body's actions. Your wife is the one who started all this mess. If your mother is feeling stress, it's not anything you have done - it's due to a mother's love for her child that will always be there. You can stay strong through this, J.P. Don't get overwhelmed, just deal with what's immediately in front of you at the time. You are in my prayers. Hugs to ya, bro.
One's reality is another's nightmare.
#52
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Posted 01 March 2012 - 11:10 PM
J. K., on 01 March 2012 - 07:13 PM, said:
Not your fault, brother - not your fault! She already had the ulcer due to her body's actions. Your wife is the one who started all this mess. If your mother is feeling stress, it's not anything you have done - it's due to a mother's love for her child that will always be there. You can stay strong through this, J.P. Don't get overwhelmed, just deal with what's immediately in front of you at the time. You are in my prayers. Hugs to ya, bro.
Kind of ironic that you're in Texas because that's were my son and ex are moving to. I plan on having him back and living with me in the near future though...if things stop falling down all around me.
I visited my Mom a few hours ago and the worse part was seeing how afraid she was. I've always seen my Mom as this pillar of strength but today she was simply terrified. Hooked up to all these machines and looking so frail just killed me.
I apologize for the rant. I have really no friends or contact with anyone. There were only 4 people that I ever used to talk to and one is in the I.C.U., one is divorcing me and moving, one is 11 years old and the last is my step dad. He's losing it because of all that's going on. I'm truly alone and it sucks, so thanks for caring J.K. because it seems like nobody does.
#53
little_dreamer
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It is never too late to be what you might have been. - George Eliot
Posted 02 March 2012 - 01:15 AM
I realize this is a very difficult time in your life. You should remember regarding your goals: “It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.” - old Chinese proverb.
I am another anonymous face in the crowd. I am just another tiny wheel in the machinery of the world I live in.
#54
J. K.
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Posted 02 March 2012 - 01:38 AM
J.P., on 01 March 2012 - 11:10 PM, said:
You don't know how much that means to me. I know it's not my fault...but it feels that way. I feel like a bad omen.
Kind of ironic that you're in Texas because that's were my son and ex are moving to. I plan on having him back and living with me in the near future though...if things stop falling down all around me.
I visited my Mom a few hours ago and the worse part was seeing how afraid she was. I've always seen my Mom as this pillar of strength but today she was simply terrified. Hooked up to all these machines and looking so frail just killed me.
I apologize for the rant. I have really no friends or contact with anyone. There were only 4 people that I ever used to talk to and one is in the I.C.U., one is divorcing me and moving, one is 11 years old and the last is my step dad. He's losing it because of all that's going on. I'm truly alone and it sucks, so thanks for caring J.K. because it seems like nobody does.
Kind of ironic that you're in Texas because that's were my son and ex are moving to. I plan on having him back and living with me in the near future though...if things stop falling down all around me.
I visited my Mom a few hours ago and the worse part was seeing how afraid she was. I've always seen my Mom as this pillar of strength but today she was simply terrified. Hooked up to all these machines and looking so frail just killed me.
I apologize for the rant. I have really no friends or contact with anyone. There were only 4 people that I ever used to talk to and one is in the I.C.U., one is divorcing me and moving, one is 11 years old and the last is my step dad. He's losing it because of all that's going on. I'm truly alone and it sucks, so thanks for caring J.K. because it seems like nobody does.
I am here for you, my friend.
One's reality is another's nightmare.
#55
janeyan
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Posted 06 March 2012 - 04:23 AM
We need to remember that woman was taken out of man; not out of his head to top him, nor out of his feet to be trampled underfoot; but out of his side to be equal to him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved.
warm spiced cider
warm spiced cider
#56
ninjadude
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Posted 06 March 2012 - 10:47 PM
janeyan, on 06 March 2012 - 04:23 AM, said:
We need to remember that woman was taken out of man; not out of his head to top him, nor out of his feet to be trampled underfoot; but out of his side to be equal to him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved.
warm spiced cider
warm spiced cider
In mythology. In reality, it was a genetic mutation that created sexes.
"Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now!""
- Friedrich Nietzsche
- Friedrich Nietzsche
#57
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Posted 08 March 2012 - 10:55 PM
I drove them to her parents tonight and said good bye. I'm on yahoo IM tonight if anyone wants to shoot the ****. I could really use the company.
#58
LEGIONS
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Posted 13 March 2012 - 02:43 PM
It is what it is the pride will heal and the pain will fade however I know it's a living hell right now best wishes my friend
#59
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Posted 16 March 2012 - 02:05 PM
I'm also going through something similar after 21yrs of marriage, but until we sell our house (luckily it is a really big one) we are living as separated under one roof.
I find that really hard as it's hard to move on when your ex is in your face all the time, even in a big house the constant snipes go back and forth when the kids aren't around.
You'll have your good and bad days, today was a bad one for me. Yesterday was a positive one about a new start. I think everyone is different and it all comes down to how committed you were to the relationship and whether it hit you out of the blue or not that all reflects on your healing time.
A good counsellor can help and like the others said and sorry it's late here so I didn't read all the posts get your car back and protect anything of yours in regards to financial and obviously if children are involved make sure they know that you both love them and it has nothing to do with them that you are separating.
Good luck, know you're not alone.
I find that really hard as it's hard to move on when your ex is in your face all the time, even in a big house the constant snipes go back and forth when the kids aren't around.
You'll have your good and bad days, today was a bad one for me. Yesterday was a positive one about a new start. I think everyone is different and it all comes down to how committed you were to the relationship and whether it hit you out of the blue or not that all reflects on your healing time.
A good counsellor can help and like the others said and sorry it's late here so I didn't read all the posts get your car back and protect anything of yours in regards to financial and obviously if children are involved make sure they know that you both love them and it has nothing to do with them that you are separating.
Good luck, know you're not alone.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win. Gandhi.
HEY I WON!
HEY I WON!
#60
Taun
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Posted 16 March 2012 - 02:23 PM
ninjadude, on 06 March 2012 - 10:47 PM, said:
In mythology. In reality, it was a genetic mutation that created sexes.
Well... that would explain my ex...
Seriously though JP, you'll get through this... Try not to dwell on it and get out there and start doing things that you enjoy - It will help...
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