HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN
Take off clothing and place it in the sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk into bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror. Make a mental note, must do more situps. Get in the shower. Use Face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure its clean. Condition your hair with Grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave for 15 minutes. Wash your face with crushed Apricot kernel Facial scrub for 14 minutes until face is red.Wash the entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash., Rinse conditioner off hair, making sure that it is all gone. Shave armpits and legs . Consider shaving bikini line but decide to get it waxed instead.Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and yo! u lose water pressure. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all the wet surfaces in the shower and spray mould with Domestos. Get out of the shower. Dry with a towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel. Check entire body for any signs of a zit. Tweeze Hairs. Return to the bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see your husband along the way, cover any exposed areas then sashay to the bedroom. Take and hour and a half to get dressed. ::)
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed.Leave them in a pile on the floor. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake BOB at her, making the "woo woo" sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut. Check to see if you have pecs (NO) Admire the size of BOB in the mirror and scratch your ass. Get in the shower. Don't bother to look for a wash cloth because you don't use one. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water rinse the snot off. Crack up at how loud your farts sound in the shower and then realise you shouldn't do it in a confined space. The majority of the time is spent washing your privates and surrounding area, Wash your butt, leaving plenty of coarse hairs in the soap. Shampoo hair, do not use conditioner. make a shampoo mohawk. Peek out of the shower and look at yourself in the mirror again. pee in the shower. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fai! l to notice the water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub. Partially dry off. Look at yourself in the mirror. Flex muscles. Admire BOBS size again. Leave the shower curtain open and the wet bath mat on the floor. Leave the bathroom fan and light on. Return to the bedroom with the towel around your waist. If you pass your wife - pull the towel off, shake BOB at her and make the "woo woo" sound again. Throw the wet towel on the bed. Take two minutes to get dressed.
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SHOWER USAGE - MALE AND FEMALE
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