At worst you have the ability to end your life, at best you have the abilty to make of it anything you choose, or at least spend your life aiming and striving to do this.
I have several times seen interviews with a man born with no arms and only one tiny vestigal leg. He now makes millions for his charitable institution, giving inspirational talks around the world, and spends his time helping others. He has tried many things, including surfing and refuses to allow his disabilty to define him.
Once you are dead you have NO further choices, and all freedom to choose, is taken from you. You no longer have the huge potential which resides in you as a human being.
You can't really fight your thoughts and feelings and how I feel about life is there and I doubt any acts of charity or happy-thinking will change it because to me, nonexistence would be the best thing there is. Every time I think of those dreamless sleeps I feel happy because I know that for a little while, everything vanishes and ceases to be.
I've had a terrible few years in the past and the only thing that I loved back then apart from Snow Patrol was sleeping.
Of course that's just me and I'm sure you have your reasons for preferring life I mean, you're a guy who talks to God ffs, I'd love to see the stuff you've seen.