Can you teach people to have empathy?

[Still Waters]

Empathy is a quality that is integral to most people's lives - and yet the modern world makes it easy to lose sight of the feelings of others. But almost everyone can learn to develop this crucial personality trait, says Roman Krznaric.

Open Harper Lee's classic novel To Kill A Mockingbird and one line will jump out at you: "You never really understand another person until you consider things from his point of view - until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it."

http://www.bbc.co.uk...gazine-33287727

[Aftermath]

Fascinating question.

In all my experiences with narcissistic patients I would say no, empathy cannot be taught. Even when one, i.e., narcissist, recognizes they have little to no empathy and wants to change, it just isn't accomplished. I don't believe emotions are a skill that can be taught or developed into something better; likewise it doesn't diminish if not "used" often.

I believe empathy, like other emotions, is on a scale and perhaps you can perceive it better when illustrated with a bell-curve. There are people who have very little to no empathy, likewise there are those on the extreme high end, and the majority comprising the middle.

[aquatus1]

Not really, but you can teach people to act like they do.

[Lilly]

If someone has a mental problem like Narcissistic Personality Disorder or is a Psychopath/Sociopath, I'd say it would be impossible to 'teach' them an emotion that simply does not exist within them.

[travelnjones]

I wish my wife would unlearn her empathy with regard to her family. No matter how many times burned she always puts her hands into the fire.

I don't know if it can be learned but I have faked it most my life, poorly.

[Grandpa Greenman]

I think if a child has normal brain function they can be taught empathy, but you got to start when they are young. When my kids would do something I thought was unsympathetic, I would talk the them about how they thought another felt and how they would feel it if it was done to them.

[aquatus1]

If someone has a mental problem like Narcissistic Personality Disorder or is a Psychopath/Sociopath, I'd say it would be impossible to 'teach' them an emotion that simply does not exist within them.

Hmm...I don't know...a lot of psychopaths are really good at being charming and personable. They don't feel it, sure, but they can definitely pretend it.

[Imaginarynumber1]

Not really, but you can teach people to act like they do.

This is what I do. I fake it whenever possible, like when my girlfriend is upset, or I have to deal with the family of the deceased. I've gotten pretty good at acting like I have empathy.

[Lilly]

Acting like you possess an emotion is not the same as actually having an emotion.

For those who say they have no empathy for others I suggest (strongly) that you do not have children. A child needs to know that their parent cares about their feelings and well being. If you honestly can't feel empathy for others you will in all likelyhood be incapable of giving a child the emotional support they need.

[Imaginarynumber1]

Acting like you possess an emotion is not the same as actually having an emotion.

For those who say they have no empathy for others I suggest (strongly) that you do not have children. A child needs to know that their parent cares about their feelings and well being. If you honestly can't feel empathy for others you will in all likelyhood be incapable of giving a child the emotional support they need.

I agree. Which is why I don't have, nor do i plan on having children.

[aquatus1]

Acting like you possess an emotion is not the same as actually having an emotion.

True. But then, sometimes it isn't the emotion, but the act, that is needed.

For those who say they have no empathy for others I suggest (strongly) that you do not have children. A child needs to know that their parent cares about their feelings and well being. If you honestly can't feel empathy for others you will in all likelyhood be incapable of giving a child the emotional support they need.

With the exception of those at the pathological end of the spectrum, most people live in a mix of empathy, sympathy, and pity. It is certainly possible to care for some and not for others, and to care to different degrees.

[Lilly]

True. But then, sometimes it isn't the emotion, but the act, that is needed.

I see your point but I would caution that generally speaking people don't take action if they don't care about something.

With the exception of those at the pathological end of the spectrum, most people live in a mix of empathy, sympathy, and pity. It is certainly possible to care for some and not for others, and to care to different degrees.

Certainly the issue isn't 'black and white'. For example, I have little empathy/sympathy for the fate of the 'Boston Bomber' Tszaranev despite his young age.

[Aftermath]

Certainly the issue isn't 'black and white'. For example, I have little empathy/sympathy for the fate of the 'Boston Bomber' Tszaranev despite his young age.

What you are describing here is not the same thing. You are making a choice (conscious or unconscious) to "turn-off" your empathy for a particular situation; this is different than not having the capacity to have empathy.

In my experience those who I've seen that lack empathy cannot be taught empathy. Furthermore, those who lack empathy have, to some varying degree, a personality disorder. I agree that children definitely grow up in a more difficult environment when one or both parents lack empathy.

[mskate]

NO, I believe this needs to come from within one's self, In other words Empathy has to be felt., you can tell

a person about empathy ', but If it's not felt....no. you cannot teach empathy.

[acute]

I don't believe that you can teach empathy. Psychopaths lack empathy, and who ever heard of a psychopath being cured?

Autistic people (by definition) lack empathy. We are all on the Autism Scale somewhere, but we don't move far from our starting point on that scale during our lives.

Edited July 2, 2015 by acute

[Arbenol]

NO, I believe this needs to come from within one's self, In other words Empathy has to be felt., you can tell

a person about empathy ', but If it's not felt....no. you cannot teach empathy.

To a limited degree, this is true.

But it really depends on whether empathy is truly an emotional response. I tend to think not. To me, that is sympathy. I think the two are related. Empathy is the ability to put yourself in someone else's skin, and to be able to see the world through their eyes. In many cases this is a learned skill. As people, we vary enormously in our emotional reactions to sdimilar situations. True empathy is not just recognising how you would react and feel, but understanding how someone else may have a different emotional reaction to you.

It is far more than just saying "If that happened to me, I would.........".

As such, whilst we can't learn how to sympathise, we can learn how to cognitively empathise with another. Studies tend to show that cognitive empathy is a more powerful predictor of behaviour than emotional empathy.

[lightly]

i think a person can teach themselves (learn) to be more empathetic and sympathetic and generally more caring of other's feelings and needs by observing and sharing experiences ?

A two year old probably won't care (empathize) that your car insurance was cancelled , because they won't understand, but i can empathize with you if it was.

[aquatus1]

It may well be one of those things like confidence, that whether one is actually feeling it, or whether one is simply pretending to, it doesn't really make too much difference in the long run.

[lightly]

It may well be one of those things like confidence, that whether one is actually feeling it, or whether one is simply pretending to, it doesn't really make too much difference in the long run.

On the outside.. maybe. But if your not "actually feeling it" .. it's not Empathy.

[aquatus1]

Like I said...

[simplybill]

Interesting article, Still Waters.

I'm of the opinion that even sociopaths have a small amount of empathy embedded in them. I've read of the experiments combining dogs with prison inmates, and the impact it had on prisoners' emotions when they're taught to care for something other than themselves. Hardened, sociopathic criminals might not become overtly empathetic people, but the experience of caring for an animal may add some balance to their interactions with people.

I'm not convinced that emotion is a necessary component of empathy. I'm a very UN-emotional person, but I've somehow gotten a reputation for kindness simply because I do the "active listening" thing, or help an elderly couple with their yardwork.

[aquatus1]

On the contrary ...

Contrary?

[Astra.]

Empathy - is an emotion that you naturally feel.

Pretending to feel empathy - when you really don't - is simply shallow and insincere.

Psychopaths - feel no empathy what so ever - manipulation and extreme selfishness fills that void instead.

Edited July 4, 2015 by Astra-

[simplybill]

I'm of the opinion that even sociopaths have a small amount of empathy embedded in them. I've read of the experiments combining dogs with prison inmates, and the impact it had on prisoners' emotions when they're taught to care for something other than themselves. Hardened, sociopathic criminals might not become overtly empathetic people, but the experience of caring for an animal may add some balance to their interactions with people.

I need to clarify this: Having a lack of empathy doesn't necessarily mean that a person will have an aggressively predatory nature. I talked it over with a relative who works with violent and non-violent offenders. She said that some sociopaths recognize their condition and seek careers in the military or in orthodox religions where strict rules and social guidelines can help them to "normalize" their behavior. Of course, predatory sociopaths gravitate toward those same careers in order to gratify their antisocial desires. I don't envy the people who are faced with making that distinction. I'm sure it would take a great deal of discernment and vigilance to distinguish between predatory and non-predatory sociopaths.

[aquatus1]

Yes, contrary to what you claimed, whether one actually has empathy or merely pretends it does make a big difference in the long run. Mostly, the people who only pretend empathy spend most of their lives in prison for many varied and serious crimes.

How could you possibly determine that?

They're also far more likely to destroy the lives of everyone in their immediate vicinity.

Again, how would you know? How does one differentiate between someone who is pretending and someone who actually feels without actually being that person?

Edited July 4, 2015 by aquatus1