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Ill timing


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#1    Ratte

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Posted 24 September 2013 - 06:00 PM

Most people who know me generally know I'm very outspoken when it comes to certain topics. Lately, the trans homecoming queen is a story I've been following, commenting on and reposting on the book of face. I've been doing this since the story came out because it strikes a little close to home for me, as a transman. I went and posted one of my borderline infamous "state of the union" posts, ranting about how sickening it is that adults were picking on a child and how that is never acceptable, regardless of the reason.

But the real reason I'm posting this is because my mates mother found the posts, just today, and started questioning him about me. Then she called him and started ranting about how it's "wrong" and saying he should leave me and come home and questioning his sexuality.

Now, I don't care that she doesn't like it. I really don't. I expected this when I came out. But, what got me upset is that she decided to try and make my boyfriend leave me and tried to make me feel bad on my birthday. This could have easily waited until tomorrow and I wouldn't bat an eye. I know he loves me and won't leave me, but the fact that she pulled this stunt on my fricken birthday says a lot about her character.

So, yeah. Happy birthday to me. My mates mom is a bigot. On a positive note, my best friend got me some new work shoes.

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#2    dlonewolf85

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Posted 24 September 2013 - 06:10 PM

Well, sometimes we just have to make the best out of certain situations and when dealing with certain people, even when things aren't how we expect them to be. But it's your birthday, nothing should spoil that, and congrats about the new shoes. Have a very Happy Birthday! :su

∂ Ѡοɭ ʄ85

#3    Ryu

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Posted 24 September 2013 - 07:22 PM

Is it your birthday today Ratte?

If so then Happy Birthday. (if not it still applies :) )

Look, the two of you are adults, right? Then no one can tell you whom to be friends with or who can be your mate.
Your friends mom doesn't like the idea and I can understand that..she is a mom, after all (Parents do weird things sometimes) but interfering in your lives is not an okay thing to do so I agree, just ignore it but also keep an eye out too.


#4    ZOD

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Posted 24 September 2013 - 07:26 PM

Im jus trying to clarify something real quick.

You are a transgender who is now a man, and you are also gay.

Am I correct in this?

I've seen **** that'll turn you WHITE!


#5    Ratte

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Posted 24 September 2013 - 09:49 PM

View PostSkepticalB, on 24 September 2013 - 07:26 PM, said:

Im jus trying to clarify something real quick.

You are a transgender who is now a man, and you are also gay.

Am I correct in this?
I'm ftm trans and pansexual. I haven't had either surgery yet, so if you want to be technical, I'm still legally female.

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#6    rashore

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Posted 24 September 2013 - 10:06 PM

Haven't you been dating this guy for a while now? Sorry if this sounds dumb, but didn't she realize her son was dating a guy prior to this? Or is she flaked out because she just realized you are transgender?

Sorry she's flaking out at all, extra sucktacular that it's on your Bday :(


#7    Ratte

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Posted 24 September 2013 - 10:26 PM

View Postrashore, on 24 September 2013 - 10:06 PM, said:

Haven't you been dating this guy for a while now? Sorry if this sounds dumb, but didn't she realize her son was dating a guy prior to this? Or is she flaked out because she just realized you are transgender?

Sorry she's flaking out at all, extra sucktacular that it's on your Bday :(
Three years, soon. Lived with them for nearly half of one. I guess she missed all the boxers, the binders and fake facial hair. She thinks anyone that isn't straight and cis is "gross" (mature, right?).

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#8    Odd Requiem

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Posted 24 September 2013 - 10:43 PM

The thing I don't understand most about situations like this, is how anyone thinks they have a choice on who another person loves.
I don't care if you're transgender, gay, black, white, neon pink...it's your life.

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#9    ZOD

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Posted 24 September 2013 - 11:11 PM

View PostRatte, on 24 September 2013 - 09:49 PM, said:

I'm ftm trans and pansexual. I haven't had either surgery yet, so if you want to be technical, I'm still legally female.

Eh, who has time for technicalities.

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#10    Leonardo

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Posted 25 September 2013 - 10:21 AM

Much of our "Western society" is still hung up on a 2000 year-old morality gleaned from a bronze-age religion, and religion is tenacious and pernicious in it's grasp on people.

I'm sorry that your boyfriend's mother spoiled your birthday but I hope it was a good day for you otherwise. It's not easy being part of a minority, and even less so when also being part of the leading edge of social change. I know that doesn't make it any easier for the individual, but it might provide some comfort knowing you are part of that change and the strength and courage shown by yourself, and that transgender homecoming queen, and all others like you and her in standing up for who you are and how you want society to see you will make things easier for those who follow in your footsteps.

Edited by Leonardo, 25 September 2013 - 10:23 AM.

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#11    rashore

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Posted 25 September 2013 - 02:18 PM

View PostRatte, on 24 September 2013 - 10:26 PM, said:

Three years, soon. Lived with them for nearly half of one. I guess she missed all the boxers, the binders and fake facial hair. She thinks anyone that isn't straight and cis is "gross" (mature, right?).

Yeah, I thought you've been with the same guy for a while now. Well, as long as you've been commenting about it on UM at least. Just flat out weird that she didn't notice sooner. Unfortunately bigoted, but it's not her relationship, and she should love her son anyway.

And I gotta ask, please don't take me wrong... But you use fake facial hair? I know more mtf than ftm, and the ftm I know don't use facial hair. Is it nice hair? Do you use it every day? I've used really nice stuff a couple of times for costuming purposes, and I didn't like it at all- I found it a total PITA to put on and take off. Then, I loathe fake eyelashes for the same reason. But I'm intrigued by having the opportunity to ask someone that does use it on a regular basis about their use of it.

edit: spelling error

Edited by rashore, 25 September 2013 - 02:19 PM.


#12    Ratte

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Posted 25 September 2013 - 06:31 PM

View Postrashore, on 25 September 2013 - 02:18 PM, said:



Yeah, I thought you've been with the same guy for a while now. Well, as long as you've been commenting about it on UM at least. Just flat out weird that she didn't notice sooner. Unfortunately bigoted, but it's not her relationship, and she should love her son anyway.

And I gotta ask, please don't take me wrong... But you use fake facial hair? I know more mtf than ftm, and the ftm I know don't use facial hair. Is it nice hair? Do you use it every day? I've used really nice stuff a couple of times for costuming purposes, and I didn't like it at all- I found it a total PITA to put on and take off. Then, I loathe fake eyelashes for the same reason. But I'm intrigued by having the opportunity to ask someone that does use it on a regular basis about their use of it.

edit: spelling error

I do not use it every day because of how long it takes just to get a decent goatee. An hour minimum. I'm lucky enough to have an androgynous facial structure and I wear men's glasses.

I bought a hair piece, like the kind you use for extensions and kept my own hair from when I shaved the back of my head just to have a decent color variation. I cut it to the right length and dab patches in body glue to attach it. The most time-consuming part of the whole endeavor is removing the excess glue so it looks natural on close inspection.

I hope this helps!

Ps fake lashes don't bother me. I used to do the clockwork orange thing and just wear one. Thought it looked cool.

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#13    rashore

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Posted 25 September 2013 - 06:49 PM

View PostRatte, on 25 September 2013 - 06:31 PM, said:

I do not use it every day because of how long it takes just to get a decent goatee. An hour minimum. I'm lucky enough to have an androgynous facial structure and I wear men's glasses.

I bought a hair piece, like the kind you use for extensions and kept my own hair from when I shaved the back of my head just to have a decent color variation. I cut it to the right length and dab patches in body glue to attach it. The most time-consuming part of the whole endeavor is removing the excess glue so it looks natural on close inspection.

I hope this helps!

Ps fake lashes don't bother me. I used to do the clockwork orange thing and just wear one. Thought it looked cool.
An hour minimum? Jinkies, way too time consuming for me, lol. Sounds like you really take the effort to make it look nice though, and that's cool. Have you thought about trying liquid latex to make a more permanent piece instead of using body glue?





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