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Talk on anger

Posted by markdohle , 26 May 2006 · 92 views

I have been asked to give a talk on Anger, Resentment, and Forgiveness; a subject I feel I know a lot about, since anger is an issue that I have been dealing with all my life.  I am not an intellectual, so my talks tend to be more autobiographical than anything else, and sometimes it gives me pause when I think about it.  

One of the reasons I like blogging is that I have an avenue that I can simply state what I feel I need to state, and then send it to be read by people who really donít know me, and donít see me.  When giving a talk it is an intimate sort of thing for me since I am face to face with a room full of people, who if they donít know much about me before the talk, certainly will by the time it is over.  

I donít know why I canít just get up there and talk in the abstract but I canít.  One reason is that for some reason the differences between abstract and the practical tend to blur for me.  When studying for instance something abstract, I tend to think of it on a practical level and how I can use it in my own life.  So in my talkís people get both, which I am not sure is always what people want when attending a talk.  I keep getting asked to come back,  so enough must like it to want more from me.  

When I was younger I would never admit to having anything wrong with me, I had to be perfect, in control, fit body, lots of muscle, last word in every conversation etc.  I must have been a real bore to people.  As I got older I began to see how foolish that was and began to let others know that I have problems, lots of them, and I found it a relief to be able to state that.  I know I told others nothing new, but for me to say it was like letting go of a heavy weight that I was carrying around.  

So yes I get angry easily, seemed to have a lot of it; its roots go way back into my past, and have visited that past to get some understanding of this particular issue.  At times it seems that I have this excess energy that wants to be released, and is on the look out for something for me to blast.  What probably saved me from a lot more pain, and frustration, in my life is that I chose the road of suppression, rather than repression, or simply expressing it to whomever was in front of me.  The shot gun approach to anger never seems to work; at least I have never seen it work for some of my friends.  It seems to just make communication harder, and the isolation deeper; something I want to avoid.

Others are not responsible for this excess anger that I carry around, and as I get older it seems to lessen, but I feel it is a burden I will always carry with me.  Most of my friends donít know this about me.  I guess it is because I am conscious of it, and there is no unconscious leaking.  What leaks is my more tender side, I am not in touch with it on an emotional level, but others seem to pick that up from me.

Oh well better get my talk ready.







bLu3 de 3n3rgy
May 26 2006 05:15 PM
I just wanted to say it is great you are working on your anger problem and Good luck with your talk original.gif
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Yes, good luck on your talk!   thumbsup.gif
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Thanks, always get a little nervous before I start.

Peace
mark
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[quote name='Anvil' date='May 26 2006, 01:15 PM']
I just wanted to say it is great you are working on your anger problem

A problem that I will have to work on till the day I die  rolleyes.gif

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bLu3 de 3n3rgy
May 26 2006 07:46 PM
Well I think about everyone has there own fair sh*t to work on. The main thing is you know what yours is now original.gif not everyone always does.
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ShadowDancer
May 26 2006 08:19 PM
Good point Anvil.
We as humans have issues and burdens to learn from and deal with.
That is called life-lessons. I myself recently did an experiment on forgiveness and anger, to study more closely my own psychology and to moreso understand why humans do the things they do. Understanding is very important, it leads to forgiveness and growth.
Mark, you're further along to that than you think....... wink2.gif
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Thanks Shadowdancer for your imput.

Peace
Mark
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