I think I'm a sociopath

[Voyager]

I'm probably being more transparent than most people would ever be, but I have become increasingly concerned about myself... as I have gotten older and learned some things about human nature and psychology.

I'm not a psychologist, but from the things I have studied about behavior patterns, I seem to fit right into the sociopathic category... in reflecting back on my life and my own behavior. And I'm not being sarcastic or funny, but this is very real. My own mother once told me that I have just the personality of a psychopath. that may sound shocking to you, but she wasn't being mean and I knew why she was saying it.

I have always been a very introverted person, to the point that I didn;t even realize how I came of to people. I didn't think I was THAT quiet, but people have always asked me why I'm so quiet. To me, Ijust feel lie I have nothing to say. But it's like everyone I come in contact with asks me the same thing. And this has been throughout my whole life: I'm 29 now. I've even been asked several times, "What's wrong with you? (accompanied by a disgusted look, of course), or I will hear people whispering it to someone else, or it will get back to me somehow that people were saying I'm "weird."

I have always been one to drift off into a fantasy world of my own. There are other things that I won't go into...

I'm now reading this book on Narcissistic Personality Disorder, titled "The Wizard of Oz And Other Narcissists." And I'm only a few pages in, but I've already seen many of my own character attributes within it.

It terrified me at one point. And for a long time, I have hated myself, wondering why I had to be born this way, or what happened to me to make me this way. I honestly don't understand "What's wrong with me." But there seems to be little help for people like myself who want to be free of the narcissist within. I have looked up and down for books on the subject (because it's not like I can go to someone and tell them I think I'm a sociopath), but they always seem to be demonizing the narcissist (rightfully so) or showing people how to respond to one. It makes me wonder, is there any hope for a narcissist? Serious question. Is narcissism something I can overcome? If so, how?

[~TheBigK~]

Being a narcissist and sociopath are two different things. Yes, sociopaths are narcissistic but they also completely lack empathy. One thing that in my opinion suggests you're not a sociopath is that you said you hated yourself and I get the impression that you want to change. True sociopaths do not hate themselves nor do they care about their condition or give a damn about changing it. They feel nothing. As for people asking what was wrong with you and giving you a look, that's ridiculous if you were simply just being quiet. I'm an introvert and shy as well but it doesn't mean there's something wrong with me. So unless you've never loved, cared for, or even had a small amount of sympathy for someone then you are not a sociopath.

[getbehindmesatan]

Anyone who looks at our contemporary life from the perspective of the normal life lived by people in earlier times—say, Russia, or America, or any country of Western Europe in the 19th century—cannot help but be struck by the fact of how abnormal life has become today. The whole concept of authority and obedience, of decency and politeness, of public and private behavior—all have changed drastically, have been turned upside down except in a few isolated pockets of people—usually Christians of some kind—who try to preserve the so-called "old-fashioned" way of life.

Our abnormal life today can be characterized as spoiled, pampered. From infancy today's child is treated, as a general rule, like a little god or goddess in the family: his whims are catered to, his desires fulfilled.; he is surrounded by toys, amusements, comforts; he is not trained and brought up according to strict principles of Christian behavior, but left to develop whichever way his desires incline. It is usually enough for him to say, "I want it!" or "I won't do it!" for his obliging parents to bow down before him and let him have his way. Perhaps this does not happen all the time in every family, but it happens often enough to be the rule of contemporary childrearing, and even the best-intentioned parents do not entirely escape its influence. Even if the parents try to raise the child strictly, the neighbors are trying to do something else. They have to take that into consideration when disciplining the child.

When such a child becomes an adult, he naturally surrounds himself with the same things he was used to in his childhood: comforts, amusements, and grown-up toys. Life becomes a constant search for "fun" which, by the way, is a word totally unheard of in any other vocabulary; in 19th century Russia they wouldn't have understood what this word meant, or any serious civilization. Life is a constant search for "fun" which is so empty of any serious meaning that a visitor from any 19th-century country, looking at our popular television programs, amusement parks, advertisements, movies, music—at almost any aspect of our popular culture—would think he had stumbled across a land of imbeciles who have lost all contact with normal reality. We don't often take that into consideration, because we are living in this society and we take it for granted.

Some recent observers of our contemporary life have called the young people of today the "me generation" and our times the "age of narcissism," characterized by a worship of and fascination with oneself that prevents a normal human life from developing. Others have spoken of the"plastic" universe or fantasy world in which so many people live today, unable to face or come to terms with the reality of the world around them or the problems within themselves.

When the "me generation" turns to religion—which has been happening very frequently in the past several decades—it is usually to a "plastic" or fantasy form of religion: a religion of "self-development" (where the self remains the object of worship), of brainwashing and mind-control, of deified gurus and swamis, of a pursuit of UFO's and "extra-terrestrial" beings, of abnormal spiritual states and feelings. We will not go into all these manifestations there, which are probably familiar enough to most of you, except to discuss a little later how these touch on the Orthodox Christian spiritual life of our days.

http://orthodoxinfo.com/praxis/rose_wv.aspx

a fairly common state of mind today,

[Pandora7321]

Being or not being a Christian has nothing to do with it. You do not need to be a Christian to know right from wrong, have empathy, be considerate, have morals or a sense of integrity. I am not a Christian and was raised with no religion at all. I have all of the above and so does my atheist friend as well as my Buddhist friend. All you have to do is look at the degraded state of humanity in general and realize that is NOT how you want to live or raise your children. Period.

[Rlyeh]

fantasy form of religion

To be fair, they're all forms of fantasy.

[Mike G]

I'm probably being more transparent than most people would ever be, but I have become increasingly concerned about myself... as I have gotten older and learned some things about human nature and psychology.

I'm not a psychologist, but from the things I have studied about behavior patterns, I seem to fit right into the sociopathic category... in reflecting back on my life and my own behavior. And I'm not being sarcastic or funny, but this is very real. My own mother once told me that I have just the personality of a psychopath. that may sound shocking to you, but she wasn't being mean and I knew why she was saying it.

I have always been a very introverted person, to the point that I didn;t even realize how I came of to people. I didn't think I was THAT quiet, but people have always asked me why I'm so quiet. To me, Ijust feel lie I have nothing to say. But it's like everyone I come in contact with asks me the same thing. And this has been throughout my whole life: I'm 29 now. I've even been asked several times, "What's wrong with you? (accompanied by a disgusted look, of course), or I will hear people whispering it to someone else, or it will get back to me somehow that people were saying I'm "weird."

I have always been one to drift off into a fantasy world of my own. There are other things that I won't go into...

I'm now reading this book on Narcissistic Personality Disorder, titled "The Wizard of Oz And Other Narcissists." And I'm only a few pages in, but I've already seen many of my own character attributes within it.

It terrified me at one point. And for a long time, I have hated myself, wondering why I had to be born this way, or what happened to me to make me this way. I honestly don't understand "What's wrong with me." But there seems to be little help for people like myself who want to be free of the narcissist within. I have looked up and down for books on the subject (because it's not like I can go to someone and tell them I think I'm a sociopath), but they always seem to be demonizing the narcissist (rightfully so) or showing people how to respond to one. It makes me wonder, is there any hope for a narcissist? Serious question. Is narcissism something I can overcome? If so, how?

That doesn't really sound like narcissism or any kind of antisocial disorder.

You have to be aware, "antisocial" doesn't mean that you are not social. Defined clinically it refers to behavior that is actively against society, as in picking fights in the street, breaking car windows. Anti-society.

Likewise, narcissists are seen as a self-involved type of personality. They aren't typically found to be "weird" by others, but are actually quite charming and manipulative.

I would just say you are shy and a bit introverted. But there's nothing wrong that. Some people are more sociable than others. I am sure yo have strength in other areas which they probably lack. I wouldn't worry or pigeon yourself. I would seriously drop the narcissism literature and maybe perhaps look into the various anxiety disorders, most of which are very treatable. Good luck.

[Paranormalcy]

While self-examination is a great pursuit, I would caution the OP and anyone responding that UM has VERY clear policies against asking for or providing health *ADVICE*, of a physical, mental, emotional or other nature, so as long as the thread stays conversational and hypothetical, it should be okay, but PLEASE, if you DO have real questions of a truly professional nature, you need to seek information and/or diagnosis and treatment from qualified relevant health professionals.

[Habitat]

Being shy isn't typical of sociopathy or psychopathy or even narcissism. Shyness is frequently mistaken for aloofness or emotional coldness, and this is often very far from the real situation. But it probably makes misunderstandings more likely. I have met a few sociopaths over the years, and none were shy. They know how to push people's buttons, shy people are generally above that sort of manipulation. You guessed it, I like shy people.

[H.H. Holmes]

I'm probably being more transparent than most people would ever be, but I have become increasingly concerned about myself... as I have gotten older and learned some things about human nature and psychology.

I'm not a psychologist, but from the things I have studied about behavior patterns, I seem to fit right into the sociopathic category... in reflecting back on my life and my own behavior. And I'm not being sarcastic or funny, but this is very real. My own mother once told me that I have just the personality of a psychopath. that may sound shocking to you, but she wasn't being mean and I knew why she was saying it.

I have always been a very introverted person, to the point that I didn;t even realize how I came of to people. I didn't think I was THAT quiet, but people have always asked me why I'm so quiet. To me, Ijust feel lie I have nothing to say. But it's like everyone I come in contact with asks me the same thing. And this has been throughout my whole life: I'm 29 now. I've even been asked several times, "What's wrong with you? (accompanied by a disgusted look, of course), or I will hear people whispering it to someone else, or it will get back to me somehow that people were saying I'm "weird."

I have always been one to drift off into a fantasy world of my own. There are other things that I won't go into...

I'm now reading this book on Narcissistic Personality Disorder, titled "The Wizard of Oz And Other Narcissists." And I'm only a few pages in, but I've already seen many of my own character attributes within it.

It terrified me at one point. And for a long time, I have hated myself, wondering why I had to be born this way, or what happened to me to make me this way. I honestly don't understand "What's wrong with me." But there seems to be little help for people like myself who want to be free of the narcissist within. I have looked up and down for books on the subject (because it's not like I can go to someone and tell them I think I'm a sociopath), but they always seem to be demonizing the narcissist (rightfully so) or showing people how to respond to one. It makes me wonder, is there any hope for a narcissist? Serious question. Is narcissism something I can overcome? If so, how?

I have to agree with everyone else who has posted about this topic so far, you have no reason to call yourself a "sociopath" or a narcissist. Anyone can read a diagnostic manual and start "connecting the dots" to convince themselves that they have a certain disorder. It is actually a quite common phenomenon, I have done it myself on a couple of occasions. You cannot- in any way, shape, or form- render an objective observation of your own personal qualities or to deduce whether or not you have a psychiatric disorder. Speak to a counselor or someone who is qualified to make those types of judgments. Being your own personal psychologist is a very poor way treating yourself. We, as human beings, rarely possess the capacity to reach a completely truthful, non-corrupted picture of ourselves. Personal biases, denial, exaggerations, poor memory recall, and other mental factors will undoubtedly make any self-diagnoses prone to error.

Another thing, everyone has narcissistic qualities to some extent. To be diagnosed as a true narcissist, those qualities have to manifest themselves in the extreme.

Edited September 1, 2011 by H.H. Holmes

[Habitat]

A sociopath is a person who just loves other people, but only in a very particular way. He just loves others to do what is most convenient for him, with no particular concern about what the effect of that may be on others.

[mklsgl]

I'm probably being more transparent than most people would ever be, but I have become increasingly concerned about myself... as I have gotten older and learned some things about human nature and psychology.

I'm not a psychologist, but from the things I have studied about behavior patterns, I seem to fit right into the sociopathic category... in reflecting back on my life and my own behavior. And I'm not being sarcastic or funny, but this is very real. My own mother once told me that I have just the personality of a psychopath. that may sound shocking to you, but she wasn't being mean and I knew why she was saying it.

I have always been a very introverted person, to the point that I didn;t even realize how I came of to people. I didn't think I was THAT quiet, but people have always asked me why I'm so quiet. To me, Ijust feel lie I have nothing to say. But it's like everyone I come in contact with asks me the same thing. And this has been throughout my whole life: I'm 29 now. I've even been asked several times, "What's wrong with you? (accompanied by a disgusted look, of course), or I will hear people whispering it to someone else, or it will get back to me somehow that people were saying I'm "weird."

I have always been one to drift off into a fantasy world of my own. There are other things that I won't go into...

I'm now reading this book on Narcissistic Personality Disorder, titled "The Wizard of Oz And Other Narcissists." And I'm only a few pages in, but I've already seen many of my own character attributes within it.

It terrified me at one point. And for a long time, I have hated myself, wondering why I had to be born this way, or what happened to me to make me this way. I honestly don't understand "What's wrong with me." But there seems to be little help for people like myself who want to be free of the narcissist within. I have looked up and down for books on the subject (because it's not like I can go to someone and tell them I think I'm a sociopath), but they always seem to be demonizing the narcissist (rightfully so) or showing people how to respond to one. It makes me wonder, is there any hope for a narcissist? Serious question. Is narcissism something I can overcome? If so, how?

Do you think Tony Soprano was a sociopath? Google "Yochelson and the Criminal Mind."

[grendals_bane]

Life becomes a constant search for "fun" which, by the way, is a word totally unheard of in any other vocabulary; in 19th century Russia they wouldn't have understood what this word meant, or any serious civilization. Life is a constant search for "fun" which is so empty of any serious meaning that a visitor from any 19th-century country, looking at our popular television programs, amusement parks, advertisements, movies, music—at almost any aspect of our popular culture—would think he had stumbled across a land of imbeciles who have lost all contact with normal reality.

The word "fun" is known in other vocabularies, seeing as the word "amusement" comes from French and means pretty much the same thing as "fun".

Also for as long as we have been around we have done things for "fun" or "entertainment". Doing things we enjoy not only makes us feel good but is also a way of bonding, which is kind of useful as we are a social species. One of the reasons it may seem life is a constant search for fun is probably due to the pace of life in the modern world and the amount of pressure we put on ourselves to get things done. Therefore we will find things to entertain us to help relieve all the pressures we put on ourselves as a species.

To the OP:

You certainly don't sound like a sociopath as they usually have no empathy towards anyone or anything and are extremely manipulative. If you are worried about your mental state though the best thing to do would be to see a professional as they will have a much better insight than anyone you will find on the internet.

[KNash]

If you hear people talking about you and that makes you think something is wrong with you maybe you have more self-esteem issues rather than sociopathic symptoms. I think your mom saying you have the personality of a psychopath is harsh and unjust and makes me think that maybe your mom has said other things to you that have contributed to you feeling something is wrong with you.

It's not uncommon for people to read about disorders and start applying those concepts to themselves. I guess on the far end that would be a hypochondriac.

I think sociopath is now referred to as antisocial disorder. Would you feel guilt or remorse if you hurt an animal or other human being? A study was done in 1999 by a Penn State professor, Adrian Raine, who compared PET scans from a group of men tried and convicted of murder. He found a correlation that all men had reduced activity in their frontal cortex which helps control impulses. These types of people tend to show little anxiety. Especially in children.

Of course I am not a licensed psychologist but I am on my way to being one someday I hope. No one on here can diagnose you. This situation is best left for a trained psychologist.

In a strangely fascinating way, people who are "crazy" don't know that they are crazy and people who worry about being crazy drive themselves into being "crazy". The human brain is a trip.

Good Luck.

Edited September 5, 2011 by KNash

[CorpseCarriage]

I am often told that I'm a quiet person as well (although you'd never guess this by the way I write things. I'm WAY more wordy when I'm writing.)I think that perhaps people are put off by my introversion. I get called weird for it often as well, but it's just the way I am ^{...and they can all go f-off, far as I'm concerned. *cough*}

Anyway, back to the topic, as the previous posters have noted, it's impossible to psychologically evaluate yourself unless you've had extensive training in Psychology, and even then, it would be kinda hard to diagnose yourself. So, if you have serious doubts about your own sanity, probably should consult someone who is learn-ed in that field of study. Personally, you don't sound like a sociopath by the way you're projecting yourself here. For one thing, a full-blown sociopath would not think twice about what they're doing or thinking. So the very fact that you're questioning your own sanity is a bit of a tip-off.

Edited September 5, 2011 by CorpseCarriage