Eye Contact Quells Online Hostility

[Still Waters]

Read any Web forum, and you'll agree: people are meaner online than in “real life.” Psychologists have largely blamed this disinhibition on anonymity and invisibility: when you're online, no one knows who you are or what you look like. A new study in Computers in Human Behavior, however, suggests that above and beyond anything else, we're nasty on the Internet because we don't make eye contact with our compatriots.

http://www.scientifi...on-the-internet

[Simbi Laveau]

I've met some of my detractors in person,a few times. They say ,nothing in person .....go figure .

[Mnemonix]

I'm a nice person online and offline.

[spud the mackem]

I guess Psychologists come out with any old rubbish at times.I do look a person in the eyes,and if I get the right vibes I'm ok with them. The same applies on the web,if a person is ok, I'll be friends, if not, well ......you can learn a lot from a persons eyes, and I reckon you can also learn a lot from the way a person expresses themselves in writing...( how am I doing so far) ha ha..Cheers.

Edited September 17, 2012 by spud the mackem

[Junior Chubb]

That's why I wear my shades in my avatar, I don't want all you UM monkeys to start going soft on me after a bit of eye contact!

Edited September 17, 2012 by Junior Chubb

[Ashotep]

I'm pretty much the same online as I am in person. If the topic of discussion bores me I don't have anything to say. I'll treat you like you treat me.

[keninsc]

Me too. I don't really change a great deal because I simply don't have to change, however I was on a local chatroom once and we had a couple guys who were abusive and often times hijacked threads, started flaming wars and pretty much threatened to kick my ass to a fair-thee-well if we ever met in real life. I actually got a nasty email for one of the admins, so one day out of the blue someone decided to have a real life met thing for all of us at a local hotel. So I show up and they have name tags for us all with our real names and our on-line handles. I got to meet the real bad-ass who was gonna whip my ass and he was a freaking sawed off little dork of a kid who had no social skills and *I swear* taped together glasses. So I walk up to him and smile, he looks at my name tag and very nearly wets himself when he sees I didn't exaggerate my size, He'd described himself as being a real bad ass biker type. All I could do was laugh at him, he was pathetic.

I do actually try to walk away from some posters now *Snip* I just used the ignore feature and pretty much don't have to worry about them, even had to complain to the admins about a couple of them......... *Snip* That pretty much sums it up.

Edited September 17, 2012 by Karlis
6c. Appeal: Do not ... make posts ... to complain about, ... moderator action.

[Grandpa Greenman]

I am about the same. I am neither black or white, I am a gray wizard.

[Hasina]

I think I may be nicer online then I am offline.

[sam12six]

Since I believe I'm one of the people ken has ignored, I have free reign to say anything about him I want without his defending himself so:

If I ever ran into him I'd...

<sorry, damned glasses fell apart again> ... whip his ass!!

Jokes aside, something very similar to what he described happened to me. When I was in college I was chatting with people via telnet and this dude enters the room starts immediately trolling hard. I was in the library and tried to ignore him but he kept going on and on about what he'd do to me if we ever ran into each other. I asked him if he was at home right now. His response was, "Huh?". I explained that being students at the same university we were able to look each other up via username. When I arranged for us to bump into each other and give him a chance to make good on all the things he was dying to do, he decided he'd only been joking.

While there are "keyboard warriors", I think as much as anything the lack of body language and tone make it easier to miss someone's humor.

[Bling]

I've learnt to take negativity from online people with a pinch of salt, even though it can be hurtful to be trolled and attacked. Human's use body language to communicate so we're already at a disadvantage when we start chatting online without a webcam. That's why I like to use smileys because they help to portray a little of the emotion behind my words. We have to give each other the benefit of the doubt sometimes but then also have the sense to realise that some people just choose to be mean online for their kicks!

[Jinxdom]

While there are "keyboard warriors", I think as much as anything the lack of body language and tone make it easier to miss someone's humor.

Agreed.

Don't forget online you have a greater chance of meeting people who don't agree with you and some topics you talk about online rarely comes out in everyday conversation which can turn nice people in to a prick sometimes. Competition like online gaming can turn the nicest people comparable to football hooligans who would riot after their favorite team lost. If it was just the eye contact thing wouldn't it also apply to like uhh phones. The losing anonymity and invisibility makes more sense then just eye contact. Eye contact means you get to see their face.... which means you can find said face.... then you can slap it for being smart.

It's honestly more fun to call internet tough guys then actually meet them. It's often more frightening to know that somebody knows where they are and where they live and have no idea what you actually look like. It's even better when you find out they live with their parents.

Edited September 18, 2012 by Jinxdom

[Junior Chubb]

It's honestly more fun to call internet tough guys then actually meet them. It's often more frightening to know that somebody knows where they are and where they live and have no idea what you actually look like. It's even better when you find out they live with their parents.

You should try on-line gaming, your words ring even more true when applied to PlayStation Network or Xbox Live...

[Kazoo]

I don't make eye contact with people in real life. It makes me feel awkward.

I don't think I am mean in real life or on the internet. But I'm not nice either.

[notoverrated]

I think I may be nicer online then I am offline.

same, but not by my choosing or anything i just dont think when i talk so i come off as rude in person.

[Jinxdom]

You should try on-line gaming, your words ring even more true when applied to PlayStation Network or Xbox Live...

Heh my story was about counter-strike server back many years ago. I do play xbox live every great once in awhile really stopped around the time left 4 dead 2 came around.

I "try" to be nice all around but I have my limits.

[spud the mackem]

From the Posts I've read ,they pretty well sum up the psychologists theories,which to me are Rubbish,you can almost say and do what you like,online,be nice or nasty, but if you are nasty during eye contact, expect serious pay back.

[Clarakore]

I am trying to figure out why someone would be hostile to psychology. That seems a rather antiquated position to hold...I bet it has something to do with being a "man". I think I'm about to be sick.

As for me I can definitely be crueler online and seriously think everyone who says otherwise is lying.

Edited September 18, 2012 by Chasingtherabbit

[sarah_444]

Yes, I agree that it's definitely easier for most people to be meaner online than offline. For some people, the computer screen serves as an invisible cloak making it much easier to say things than if they were standing next to the person. Sort of like yelling at other drivers from the safety of your car. Most people wouldn't dare be so hostile face to face.

It comes down to choices. I choose to express myself respectfully towards others online, the same way I would express myself in person. That's just who I am.

I think that those who choose to be "mean" and hostile on the internet are just saying more about themselves than the person they are mocking or ridiculing. It gives more of a perspective on who they really are.