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Personal Opinion: Daughter's Hair


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#1    RockabyeBillie

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Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:40 PM

I said when (if) I have a daughter, I'm going to keep her hair short until she is old enough to take care of it herself - maybe 6 or 7 years old. If she wants to grow it out, it's her choice and her responsibility. If she wants to keep it short, that's fine too. Her choice.

I have my reasons for this. As a child, I was never allowed to cut my hair and it grew down past my butt. Genetically, we have really thick hair, and I mean THICK. When in a ponytail, it poofed out like a witch's broom. I couldn't manage it.

It used to take half an hour to wash, an hour to brush (and it was so painful, I hated it, used to make me cry) and another hour to blow dry. And at school, it would get wrapped around the screws in the seat of my desk and get yanked out in chunks.

I was miserable, but I was still not allowed to cut it until I turned 18. Even if I could have cut it shoulder length, that would have been acceptable to me. But nope.

Tried explaining this to my sister but she thinks I'm terrible for it. I tried telling her how miserable I was with long hair and I will give my daughter the CHOICE once she is old enough to make that decision for herself, but she says it's weird for a little girl to have short hair. I argued that a girl doesn't have to have long hair just because she is a girl.

Anyway... I disagree with her. I think allowing my child to make that decision on her own will be good for her overall.

So what do you guys think?

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#2    libstaK

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Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:55 PM

I had the exact opposite problem.  I had my hair always cut to shoulder length till about the age of 3, then I had it cropped very short and cut often as my European parents believed that the more often you cut it the thicker and healthier it would grow as I grew older.  I hated the short hair and fought them over it for years, finally was allowed a bob hair cut by about the age of nine which was a relief and then started to grow it long in my teens (finally).  I think kids always see the grass greener on the other side.  I hated knots in my hair even as a teen and if I was honest in hindsight I probably would have hated looking after long hair every day but I felt resentful for their choice and reasons for a lot of years.

Strangely (and I do believe their belief was an old wives tale most of the time) I have fine hair but alot of it, it looks quite thick and hairdressers are surprised at how fine the strands are by comparison, hmmm.

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#3    ealdwita

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Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:55 PM

Having been father to no less than five daughters, I'm of the opinion that the 'middle way' is the answer. All of my lot wore their hair just below shoulder-length until they were old enough to make their own choices. (That was a good few years before they became 18 though!)

IMO A lot depends on the type of hair a girl has. Had your hair not been so thick, Billie,would you have been more comfortable wearing it long? My third daughter has very fine hair, and apart from having the ends trimmed, there hasn't been a pair scissors near it since she was 12.

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#4    RockabyeBillie

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Posted 23 January 2013 - 03:01 PM

View Postealdwita, on 23 January 2013 - 02:55 PM, said:

Having been father to no less than five daughters, I'm of the opinion that the 'middle way' is the answer. All of my lot wore their hair just below shoulder-length until they were old enough to make their own choices. (That was a good few years before they became 18 though!)

IMO A lot depends on the type of hair a girl has. Had your hair not been so thick, Billie,would you have been more comfortable wearing it long? My third daughter has very fine hair, and apart from having the ends trimmed, there hasn't been a pair scissors near it since she was 12.

That's how I feel! I'm fine with shoulder length, that's fine as long as I'm the one brushing, washing, and drying it. After that, she can do what she wants with it.

Even if it weren't so thick it still would have gotten wrapped around the desk screws. I used to sit on it, too.

Women in my family keep their daughters hair really really long for some reason. I don't understand it.

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#5    Beckys_Mom

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Posted 23 January 2013 - 04:28 PM

My sister and I were complete opposites .. I have always had long thick dark hair, and she would have long blonde thin flyaway hair..

Many people used to pay me compliments and some relatives saying to my dad in front of my sister ( without thinking ) how lovely my long dark shiny hair was...   My younger sister used to get mad and cry.. She was daddy's girl..  My dad at times would shortly after that cut my hair off, laving my mom to take me to get it straightened out at the hair dressers.. My mother would hit the roof, accusing him doing it out of jealousy ... In my mid teens on wards, I kept it long again and always got it cut when needed,  In fact I have everything done with my hair, permed many times, colored, was blonde once, low lights and in the 90's it was high lights.. I was always trying something !!

I told myself, that if I ever have a little girl, I will not do that to her.. I will allow her hair to grow long, but not too long..  And so I did...I take her to get it cut up to a little past her shoulders and it is easy managed .. I like long hair  but not really long, to where you need to lift it to sit down and it takes ages to wash and dry...  Becky's hair is full of curls, but a nightmare to keep tangle free, so I blow dry it straight for her, it is easier to manage

My advice is to just let your sister do as she wants, you don't want to get into any falling out over it..

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#6    RockabyeBillie

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Posted 23 January 2013 - 04:30 PM

View PostBeckys_Mom, on 23 January 2013 - 04:28 PM, said:

My sister and I were complete opposites .. I have always had long thick dark hair, and she would have long blonde thin flyaway hair..

Many people used to pay me compliments and some relatives saying to my dad in front of my sister ( without thinking ) how lovely my long dark shiny hair was...   My younger sister used to get mad and cry.. She was daddy's girl..  My dad at times would shortly after that cut my hair off, laving my mom to take me to get it straightened out at the hair dressers.. My mother would hit the roof, accusing him doing it out of jealousy ... In my mid teens on wards, I kept it long again and always got it cut when needed,  In fact I have everything done with my hair, permed many times, colored, was blonde once, low lights and in the 90's it was high lights.. I was always trying something !!

I told myself, that if I ever have a little girl, I will not do that to her.. I will allow her hair to grow long, but not too long..  And so I did...I take her to get it cut up to a little past her shoulders and it is easy managed .. I like long hair  but not really long, to where you need to lift it to sit down and it takes ages to wash and dry...  Becky's hair is full of curls, but a nightmare to keep tangle free, so I blow dry it straight for her, it is easier to manage

My advice is to just let your sister do as she wants, you don't want to get into any falling out over it..

I'm not stopping my sister from doing what she wants. She's trying to stop me from keeping my child's hair short.

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#7    glorybebe

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Posted 23 January 2013 - 04:37 PM

View PostRockabyeBillie, on 23 January 2013 - 04:30 PM, said:



I'm not stopping my sister from doing what she wants. She's trying to stop me from keeping my child's hair short.
This is something I don't get.  Why do people think they have right to dictate how their siblings dress or groom their child?  Sure if you were neglecting your daughter, I would expect your sister to say or do something.  But to start an argument because YOU choose to keep YOUR daughter's hair shorter than your sister would like?  I would tell her to button it.  Your house, your rules.

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#8    Beckys_Mom

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Posted 23 January 2013 - 05:04 PM

View PostRockabyeBillie, on 23 January 2013 - 04:30 PM, said:

I'm not stopping my sister from doing what she wants. She's trying to stop me from keeping my child's hair short.

Sorry for the mix up.. Well then she shouldn't.. It's your child, your call...If you feel keeping it cut until she is able to look after it herself, then you are right. .It's your call, no one elses

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#9    RockabyeBillie

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Posted 23 January 2013 - 05:05 PM

View PostBeckys_Mom, on 23 January 2013 - 05:04 PM, said:

Sorry for the mix up.. Well then she shouldn't.. It's your child, your call...If you feel keeping it cut until she is able to look after it herself, then you are right. .It's your call, no one elses

Thank you, that's what I say too! It's not like I'm never going to let her grow it how she wants. She might end up with my personality and prefer it short anyway.

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#10    Beckys_Mom

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Posted 23 January 2013 - 05:19 PM

View PostRockabyeBillie, on 23 January 2013 - 05:05 PM, said:

Thank you, that's what I say too! It's not like I'm never going to let her grow it how she wants. She might end up with my personality and prefer it short anyway.

I hope she does wind up  taking after you..

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#11    RockabyeBillie

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Posted 23 January 2013 - 05:20 PM

View PostBeckys_Mom, on 23 January 2013 - 05:19 PM, said:

I hope she does wind up  taking after you..

Haha, why do you say that? :)

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#12    Beckys_Mom

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Posted 23 January 2013 - 05:29 PM

View PostRockabyeBillie, on 23 January 2013 - 05:20 PM, said:

Haha, why do you say that? :)

Because you are a nice person and I like reading what you have to say.. You seem smart and fun...I am stating the obvious  lol What's not to like about you?  So yes, it would be great for your girl to take after you..

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#13    RockabyeBillie

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Posted 23 January 2013 - 05:33 PM

View PostBeckys_Mom, on 23 January 2013 - 05:29 PM, said:

Because you are a nice person and I like reading what you have to say.. You seem smart and fun...I am stating the obvious  lol What's not to like about you?  So yes, it would be great for your girl to take after you..

Well, lol. Thanks! :)
I'm not always nice though I get kind of impatient and she might be like that, too lol

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#14    Beckys_Mom

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Posted 23 January 2013 - 05:34 PM

View PostRockabyeBillie, on 23 January 2013 - 05:33 PM, said:

Well, lol. Thanks! :)
I'm not always nice though I get kind of impatient and she might be like that, too lol

My daughter is the same.. But we over look those little things

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#15    RockabyeBillie

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Posted 23 January 2013 - 06:31 PM

Might I add: When I told my boyfriend that if I had a daughter, I wanted to keep her hair short until she could take care of it herself, he thought it was an excellent idea.

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