J. K., on 18 February 2012 - 10:57 PM, said:
No game here, Shabd - I'm just always curious about others' beliefs.
I am so glad to hear that JK. I mean that sincerely. I'm sorry if i came across 'harsh" with my comments but I tend to get a bit defensive sometimes with this subject because I get a lot of "superiority" thrown at me in many forms by people who automatically figure that anyone who disagrees with their beliefs about this subject means they have no knowledge of the subject (or at least have less than they have).
I might no longer be a "Christian" but that is no reflection whatsoever upon my love of Jesus or belief in who He truly "was." In fact my love for Him and my bond with Him (or "attachment") is greater than almost any Christian I have ever met. It is so strong and "otherworldly" that it defies my limited capacity to define it, let alone describe it. I am very much a "Christ-ian." I am in NO way a "Christian." That's because the two things are diametrically opposed (though only the rarest Christian will ever be able to recognize that because once they do, they would be very unlikely to continue calling themselves a "Christian" unless it was important "socially" to do so - or for business, etc.).
I have read extensively on all this. Vastly more than most anyone other than a Biblical scholar (or something similar). Other than daily meditation, minor house duties (cook, shower, etc.) and occasional (American) football games to watch, that is what I do all day long, every day, for 80%-90% of my day. That is no exaggeration. Outside of a couple brief trips to the store each month I never leave the house any more. This is my ENTIRE life. It is an absolute passion. I have no other interests and I no longer have any desires of any kind to keep me busy in their pursuit. (Though I do spend time occasionally reading the news or writing to a friend or relative, etc.)
Does that mean I "know" any more than anyone else? Heck no. Maybe I do and maybe I don't know diddly squat. Everyone will come to their own conclusion regarding that and I honestly don't care what they believe. I'm just sharing these facts right now so that maybe a few of the people who always seem to want to dismiss me as some sort of clueless "non-believer" might actually decide to respect me as someone who has a well-researched opinion, even if they decide it's completely insane, lol.
I'd give a body-part to ever find someone who actually wants to "share" what they've found and bounce ideas off me, etc. But nobody is interested in that. That's why I at least appreciate your perspective as it's not the typical "let's see how little he knows or understands" point of view. It's not "let's expose this fool" it's more of "let's at least listen to this fool," lol. (Only kidding about the last part of that sentence, but it was too hard to resist.)
A forum like this tends to attract mostly people who want to show how much they "know." A perfect example is one member who seemed to share a lot of my beliefs who wrote to me privately. I was actually thrilled because there seemed to be someone with the same interests as me that I could "talk to." He sent me things to read, told me stories and shared his beliefs, and even sent me music. I then shared my views and sent him a book about the Path I follow. That was more than two weeks ago and I never heard another word, lol.
It just proved what I had already believed and that's that everybody wants to be the "teacher" while nobody ever wants to be a student. Everybody already "knows." There is nothing they can possibly learn. Every time I ever come here to post anything, and every time i foolishly comment about religion to a friend or relative, i always kick myself and then tell myself to shut the heck up and stop doing that. I KNOW I'm wasting my time writing all I write because I'm not the least bit interested in "being right" or winning any arguments (that used to matter, unfortunately). I'm just so caught up in this that I want to share it and I just wish everyone could find it and experience it.
I know that's lunacy, lol. In fact the Path I follow stresses that we should never do what I've been doing here. The time is coming when i will finally stop. It's close to that now. It would be very easy to do if I had "a life" beyond this (not that I would ever want one though). Anything remotely similar to what type of "life" nearly anyone else has (or what I did have) and I'd be distracted by many other things. But this is my "everything" and it means so much to me that I can't help but have a powerful urge to share it with "the world," even though I know without a doubt that will never fly in any way whatsoever. I just love talking about it and can't help feeling like a man who has discovered "the fountain of youth" but who suddenly becomes invisible the moment he tries to tell anybody else about it.
I need to just clamp it and move on, lol, but that's still likely to take a little while longer - though i keep coming close to finally doing so (which will be a relief to many, lol).
Thanks again.
.