Justice please Posted September 15, 2015 #1 Share Posted September 15, 2015 (edited) My oldest sister has always hated me since the day I was born. She hid me in a garage since I was a new born baby. She was mad because she was the only girl and when I came she claims I stole my parents affection from her. Before I came my parents were fighting and my dad always fooled around. My mother had a fight with one of his woman and my dad to get even with her called children services on her to scare my mom. My mom loved us but did some things that were weird. Like putting a chain around the refrigerator so my brothers would not just go in there and eat what they wanted because there was hardly any food. Childrens services saw that and took her children away. Unfortunately the foster parents beat and sexually abused all my brothers and sister too. I did not go because I was just born when it happened. My sister has always hated me for that. She would complain about me constantly and she had a serious case of "Illusions of grandeur" she always wanted the best of everything despite the fact that my parents did not have much money. She lived a good life with her huband who she completely dominated. In her life she must have asked her daughter to make sure her services were in a place of wealthy people. My niece did exactly as she was told. I was not invited to say goodbye to my sister. I felt bad but understood her lunacy. Does anyone have any suggestions for me to feel better? Edited September 15, 2015 by Justice please Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justice please Posted September 15, 2015 Author #2 Share Posted September 15, 2015 My oldest sister has always hated me since the day I was born. She hid me in a garage since I was a new born baby. She was mad because she was the only girl and when I came she claims I stole my parents affection from her. Before I came my parents were fighting and my dad always fooled around. My mother had a fight with one of his woman and my dad to get even with her called children services on her to scare my mom. My mom loved us but did some things that were weird. Like putting a chain around the refrigerator so my brothers would not just go in there and eat what they wanted because there was hardly any food. Childrens services saw that and took her children away. Unfortunately the foster parents beat and sexually abused all my brothers and sister too. I did not go because I was just born when it happened. My sister has always hated me for that. She would complain about me constantly and she had a serious case of "Illusions of grandeur" she always wanted the best of everything despite the fact that my parents did not have much money. She lived a good life with her huband who she completely dominated. In her life she must have asked her daughter to make sure her services were in a place of wealthy people. My niece did exactly as she was told. I was not invited to say goodbye to my sister. I felt bad but understood her lunacy. Does anyone have any suggestions for me to feel better? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justice please Posted September 15, 2015 Author #3 Share Posted September 15, 2015 (edited) Just know that nothing you did was your fault. In the end we cant explain why people act the way they do :-\ Thank you for your kind words Alien Embryo Edited September 15, 2015 by Justice please 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashotep Posted September 15, 2015 #4 Share Posted September 15, 2015 Sounds like to me you sister had problems and instead of dealing with them was trying to push them off on you by blaming you for them. Sometimes people do that, its easier than confronting themselves. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patient Zero Posted September 16, 2015 #5 Share Posted September 16, 2015 Thank you for your kind words Alien Embryo Alien Embryo is Addriiannaa's rank (based on number of posts). Not to sound like a wise guy by correcting you, i kinda thought it was cute. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikko-kun Posted September 16, 2015 #6 Share Posted September 16, 2015 You should know that if your sister isn't a psychopath, and she most likely isn't based on what you've told (though I will not make judgements in any direction)... deep down your sister just wanted to find a peace of mind, happiness and things like that, and probably felt very anxious all the time. Her hate for you was because you were important to her: if you had been a nobody to her, someone who she feels she doesn't need to care of, not a dear person, then she'd have no reason to hate you if you did anything. But it's very much a fact that the people we love are most often the people we hate much for petty reasons, because if we experience that our loved one hurts us, it's worse than a random person, a nobody hurting us. That why her hate for you was just her affection to you mixed with her own troubles and the general situation you both were in, the differences between your situations. Seeing things as they are without judgement can help in these kind of things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timothy Posted September 16, 2015 #7 Share Posted September 16, 2015 Hi there! Your situation sounds complicated, but the manner in which you have described it says to me that you are very level headed and that you're approaching it in a very thoughtful and positive way. May I ask, how old are you and your sister? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justice please Posted September 17, 2015 Author #8 Share Posted September 17, 2015 You should know that if your sister isn't a psychopath, and she most likely isn't based on what you've told (though I will not make judgements in any direction)... deep down your sister just wanted to find a peace of mind, happiness and things like that, and probably felt very anxious all the time. Her hate for you was because you were important to her: if you had been a nobody to her, someone who she feels she doesn't need to care of, not a dear person, then she'd have no reason to hate you if you did anything. But it's very much a fact that the people we love are most often the people we hate much for petty reasons, because if we experience that our loved one hurts us, it's worse than a random person, a nobody hurting us. That why her hate for you was just her affection to you mixed with her own troubles and the general situation you both were in, the differences between your situations. Seeing things as they are without judgement can help in these kind of things. Thank you I guess I should have thought of that myself but I was so hurt. Now that she is dead it hurts me to know I can never to anything about it now. Thank you so much for your wise comment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justice please Posted September 17, 2015 Author #9 Share Posted September 17, 2015 Hi there! Your situation sounds complicated, but the manner in which you have described it says to me that you are very level headed and that you're approaching it in a very thoughtful and positive way. May I ask, how old are you and your sister? I am 65 and my sister was about to turn 74 that is why I am so tired of all this. It should have stopped along time ago. Now her daughter who used to love me hates me now. I decided to let it go it is over with but it does hurt to know my niece is carrying on with the hatred. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justice please Posted September 17, 2015 Author #10 Share Posted September 17, 2015 Thank you for your kind words Alien Embryo You are so right. She had a lot of problems but because she was a strong person people use to do what she said to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justice please Posted September 17, 2015 Author #11 Share Posted September 17, 2015 You should know that if your sister isn't a psychopath, and she most likely isn't based on what you've told (though I will not make judgements in any direction)... deep down your sister just wanted to find a peace of mind, happiness and things like that, and probably felt very anxious all the time. Her hate for you was because you were important to her: if you had been a nobody to her, someone who she feels she doesn't need to care of, not a dear person, then she'd have no reason to hate you if you did anything. But it's very much a fact that the people we love are most often the people we hate much for petty reasons, because if we experience that our loved one hurts us, it's worse than a random person, a nobody hurting us. That why her hate for you was just her affection to you mixed with her own troubles and the general situation you both were in, the differences between your situations. Seeing things as they are without judgement can help in these kind of things. You should know that if your sister isn't a psychopath, and she most likely isn't based on what you've told (though I will not make judgements in any direction)... deep down your sister just wanted to find a peace of mind, happiness and things like that, and probably felt very anxious all the time. Her hate for you was because you were important to her: if you had been a nobody to her, someone who she feels she doesn't need to care of, not a dear person, then she'd have no reason to hate you if you did anything. But it's very much a fact that the people we love are most often the people we hate much for petty reasons, because if we experience that our loved one hurts us, it's worse than a random person, a nobody hurting us. That why her hate for you was just her affection to you mixed with her own troubles and the general situation you both were in, the differences between your situations. Seeing things as they are without judgement can help in these kind of things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BiffSplitkins Posted September 17, 2015 #12 Share Posted September 17, 2015 If it makes you feel any better, you're not the only one out there who's sister/brother is/was a complete nutcase. My sister is no prize either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justice please Posted September 17, 2015 Author #13 Share Posted September 17, 2015 I am sorry for you biffspitkins hope I spelt that right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justice please Posted September 17, 2015 Author #14 Share Posted September 17, 2015 You should know that if your sister isn't a psychopath, and she most likely isn't based on what you've told (though I will not make judgements in any direction)... deep down your sister just wanted to find a peace of mind, happiness and things like that, and probably felt very anxious all the time. Her hate for you was because you were important to her: if you had been a nobody to her, someone who she feels she doesn't need to care of, not a dear person, then she'd have no reason to hate you if you did anything. But it's very much a fact that the people we love are most often the people we hate much for petty reasons, because if we experience that our loved one hurts us, it's worse than a random person, a nobody hurting us. That why her hate for you was just her affection to you mixed with her own troubles and the general situation you both were in, the differences between your situations. Seeing things as they are without judgement can help in these kind of things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timothy Posted September 19, 2015 #15 Share Posted September 19, 2015 I am 65 and my sister was about to turn 74 that is why I am so tired of all this. It should have stopped along time ago. Now her daughter who used to love me hates me now. I decided to let it go it is over with but it does hurt to know my niece is carrying on with the hatred. It's a shame that it has been so long and that it has carried over to your niece. Thanks for being so open about it. I really hope that the situation improves for you somehow! You definitely sound like the better person in all of this. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justice please Posted September 23, 2015 Author #16 Share Posted September 23, 2015 It's a shame that it has been so long and that it has carried over to your niece. Thanks for being so open about it. I really hope that the situation improves for you somehow! You definitely sound like the better person in all of this. Thank you for your kindness Timothy you are also a good person. Please take care Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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