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Praised for the wrong thing & low self-esteem


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#1    Render

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Posted 03 March 2013 - 01:59 PM

Quote

(Medical Xpress)—Praising children, especially those with low self-esteem, for their personal qualities rather than their efforts may make them feel more ashamed when they fail, according to new research published by the American Psychological Association.


http://medicalxpress...es-efforts.html


#2    MissMelsWell

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Posted 05 March 2013 - 07:24 AM

I agree.

I would never have praised my daughter for being nice, honest, polite or loyal etc... Those were qualities I expected her to demonstrate at all times anyway without the anticipation of my verbal approval.  I praised her when she did something that went above and beyond what I already expected of her.

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#3    White Crane Feather

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Posted 05 March 2013 - 09:07 AM

Not surprised at all. I learned it the hard way. Kids are not stupid. But they also don't always  understand things in the right context either. you can take advantage of this and point out the smaller successes inside of a failure and build them up based on things they can truely see for themselves, and use failures in an honest explanations that failures are apart of success and learning experiences. Like I said. Kids are not stupid and are itching for guidance. Often it's failures that guide us to success the trick is to learn from them, you don't sugar coat it just get them to understand that growth is a process. They are listening even if it dosnt seem like it.

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#4    ascendant606

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Posted 05 March 2013 - 12:05 PM

There is a saying that the world doesn't care what kind of person you are, but rather about what you can do for the world. Praising children on qualities they already posses won't do much for them, but encouraging them by telling them they are doing good on actuall activies and events without using any absolutes will throw in a competitive factor for the child to have the want to do better. With this increase in skill as they get better their self estem will also rise.

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

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