Grandpa Greenman Posted May 20, 2015 #1 Share Posted May 20, 2015 I was talking a friend's daughter, her mother was my wife's best friend, so I am kind of like an Uncle to her. I have known her since she was a bump. She has been living in her mothers living room with her husband and two kids for 2 years. I could see it was wearing on her mother who is a caregiver to her mother and told me she wish they would move out. The child, says to me, we are looking for the perfect place, then describes this pipe dream that is not going to happen unless she nails the lottery. I told her perfect place, is a place that is not in your mother's livingroom. It is great to want something better, but perfection doesn't happen. It seems we often live in the fantasy of a perfect life that is just around the corner. Sorry, but it seems this universe doesn't operate like that, though, there might be one round the corner that does. If you find it let me know. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XenoFish Posted May 20, 2015 #2 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Nope, perfection doesn't happen with pipe dreams. I made a mess of my life by chasing such dreams. Couldn't get a bank loan, having to move from one rental to the next. So my wife and I decided to build a small cabin on our land next year. A home isn't the size of the house but the people in it. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashotep Posted May 20, 2015 #3 Share Posted May 20, 2015 No perfection doesn't exist and they aren't going to achieve anything close to it living with the mother. She should ask them to find another place. Hope she is charging rent. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XenoFish Posted May 20, 2015 #4 Share Posted May 20, 2015 With the right permits they could build a small cabin/house on her parents property if it rural. That way they can better save their money while giving mom her space. I'm building a 12 x 12 solar powered cabin for my wife and I. They should looking into tiny houses and such. Won't be perfect but it'll be home. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandpa Greenman Posted May 20, 2015 Author #5 Share Posted May 20, 2015 If it was me, I would keep the grandkids and give her and her hubby the boot and say you can have your kids back when you get a place to live. Their mother is renting and she is just getting by. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StarMountainKid Posted May 20, 2015 #6 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Wabi-sabi The (Japanese world view or) aesthetic is sometimes described as one of beauty that is "imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wabi-sabi For me, the perfection of modern architecture is sterile, especially when it attempts to replicate more traditional forms. I grew up around Chicago, and I loved the old buildings from the '20s and '30s. They were more organic looking. The modern buildings left me cold. Imperfection is what makes life interesting. Technology aims for perfection, but my new refrigerator has no soul. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quiXilver Posted May 20, 2015 #7 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Well said GreensmansGod. Perfection is just an idea, a thought. That situation must be wearing a hole in that poor Mom. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XenoFish Posted May 20, 2015 #8 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Their mother is renting and she is just getting by. I hope their helping her out financially. If not they really need to do so. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandpa Greenman Posted May 20, 2015 Author #9 Share Posted May 20, 2015 They have an internet "business" that doesn't make any money, that is why they are homeless, in the first place. I guess they can't find the perfect job, either. Sorry, it just all really set me off. I expected better from that child, she seems to have lost her way. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XenoFish Posted May 20, 2015 #10 Share Posted May 20, 2015 I think she/they should lower their standards for "perfection". Having a decent job that pays bills is perfect. Having a decent living space that said job would allow one to afford is perfect. So depending on your idea of perfect you can either make a life or never have one. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenemet Posted May 20, 2015 #11 Share Posted May 20, 2015 We've been oversold on an idea of "perfection." But perfection seldom just "happens." It can, however, be built -- that perfect painting was once a blank canvas and colors waiting for an artist to spend 20 years learning technique and color and skill... in order to create that perfect painting. A perfect home begins with the step of owning (or renting) a home and picking the things that will make the future perfect home "perfect." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubblykiss Posted May 20, 2015 #12 Share Posted May 20, 2015 The middle-class has been vanishing for a long time now. Most of the people chasing the American dream are very slow to be awoken to the fact that achieving it is near impossible without a lot of education and many-many hours worked. A man can no longer support his family of 5 buy a house and 2 cars and afford vacations on his income alone. Taking what you can get is hard for people to just accept. They were raised with the expectation of increasing standards of living. I like to view the economic ruin that we dwell in as fundamental return to extended families, just one that nobody asked for or really wanted. But it is our reality. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xYlvax Posted May 20, 2015 #13 Share Posted May 20, 2015 You have to find wonder in what you are given. And, if you have enough to draw art, lucky enough to be around nature/have a pet, or you around people to learn from, you always can find a silver lining. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted May 20, 2015 #14 Share Posted May 20, 2015 (edited) They have an internet "business" that isn't making any money. Neither one of them is going to do anything different as long as they have Mommy to fall back on. She needs to put her foot down, tell them to give it up, get a job and set a date for them to move out. Why do people have kids when they can't even support themselves? I can understand one "accident" but two? You can criticize me for saying that all you want, but there were times when I was counting pennies to make sure I was always on two forms of birth control at all times. I knew for darn sure I didn't want kids and I never did. I had enough on my plate after moving away from home when I was seventeen. The mother may think she is helping them when in reality she is enabling them. She needs to show some tough love and make sure they can survive without her. Edited May 20, 2015 by Michelle 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quiXilver Posted May 20, 2015 #15 Share Posted May 20, 2015 For a long time, I resisted having children because it wasn't perfect... Finally my son just started to manifest, in spite of our birth control and I realized... this is as perfect as it's going to get... go with it! best move ever. "life is what happens to us while we're busy making other plans" unknown (to me) 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KariW Posted May 20, 2015 #16 Share Posted May 20, 2015 If it was me, I would keep the grandkids and give her and her hubby the boot and say you can have your kids back when you get a place to live. Their mother is renting and she is just getting by. Your suggestion reveals you have a very kind heart. GreenmansGod! God Bless you for thinking of the Grandkids! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KariW Posted May 20, 2015 #17 Share Posted May 20, 2015 For a long time, I resisted having children because it wasn't perfect... Finally my son just started to manifest, in spite of our birth control and I realized... this is as perfect as it's going to get... go with it! best move ever. "life is what happens to us while we're busy making other plans" unknown (to me) So happy things worked out for you, Quixilver. Children are truly gifts from God, and I'm sure your son brought much happiness and love into your life. Unfortunately, I never had any children, because I simply couldn't afford it! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KariW Posted May 20, 2015 #18 Share Posted May 20, 2015 They have an internet "business" that isn't making any money. Neither one of them is going to do anything different as long as they have Mommy to fall back on. She needs to put her foot down, tell them to give it up, get a job and set a date for them to move out. Why do people have kids when they can't even support themselves? I can understand one "accident" but two? You can criticize me for saying that all you want, but there were times when I was counting pennies to make sure I was always on two forms of birth control at all times. I knew for darn sure I didn't want kids and I never did. I had enough on my plate after moving away from home when I was seventeen. The mother may think she is helping them when in reality she is enabling them. She needs to show some tough love and make sure they can survive without her. Totally agree with you Michelle! I never had any kids either, for reasons listed above. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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