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I Finally Did It!


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#16    Lava_Lady

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Posted 25 October 2012 - 07:20 AM

If he hasn't called you by now, you have your answer, he's not interested.

Trying to look into what his actions mean and turning mere eye contact into some kind of dreamy "eye lock" is seeing your self up for serious disappointment.

You let him know you're interested, you have him opportunity to contact you, now let it go.  If he's interested he'll call, but don't wait for ever.

You can't be in his life if he doesn't want you there.  You're building him up to be some kind of Adonis but  I'd bet big money he's no angel.

Might sound harsh but it's being realistic.

Edited by Lava_Lady, 25 October 2012 - 07:35 AM.

"The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function."  - F. Scott Fitzgerald


#17    Jessica Christ

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Posted 25 October 2012 - 10:43 AM

You gave him your number. If he calls he wants to be friends or more. I disagree with Mark, don't push it since it could only open you up to harassment from him or others.

Crushes are easy to come by as you know. Don't worry, you won't work there much longer so it can only last so long, the pain an unfulfilled crush could bring. In time as you know it too will fade.

Crushes can be fun. Try to keep it fun even if just in your head.

Edited by Chasingtherabbit, 25 October 2012 - 10:44 AM.


#18    markdohle

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Posted 25 October 2012 - 10:11 PM

View PostVoyager, on 24 October 2012 - 09:46 PM, said:

I really don't know what I want with him. I just want to be in his world. This isn't to say that I haven't fantasized about sex with him (because I have), but I don't feel that this connection is all about sex (as it is with other guys I have crushed on). When I see him or he walks by, it's like my heart starts vibrating. He's beyond "sexy" to me---he's beautiful ! Like everything about him is perfection, to me, and I don't want to corrupt him in any way, which is why I'm being so careful with him. If anything, I see myself as a devil and him as an angel (figuratively speaking). I honestly don't believe I'm deserving or worthy of him, but I know how badly I want to connect with him. I guess if it really is meant to be then it will happen. I don't want to try to force it along nor do I want to ignore it.

He is reflecting back on you your own beauty, something you have not yet accepted.  You have made him more than human, no one can carry that for long.  Once you met him, talk to him and his humanity comes through much of what you see will dim....that is when real relatinships start.  I wish you luck, what you are going through is just a human thing..

Peace
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#19    Lava_Lady

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 12:09 AM

View PostVoyager, on 24 October 2012 - 09:46 PM, said:



I really don't know what I want with him. I just want to be in his world. This isn't to say that I haven't fantasized about sex with him (because I have), but I don't feel that this connection is all about sex (as it is with other guys I have crushed on). When I see him or he walks by, it's like my heart starts vibrating. He's beyond "sexy" to me---he's beautiful ! Like everything about him is perfection, to me, and I don't want to corrupt him in any way, which is why I'm being so careful with him. If anything, I see myself as a devil and him as an angel (figuratively speaking). I honestly don't believe I'm deserving or worthy of him, but I know how badly I want to connect with him. I guess if it really is meant to be then it will happen. I don't want to try to force it along nor do I want to ignore it.

Ignore what exactly?  By what you've posted there is nothing there between you and this guy.  It's all you... You're the one obsessing on this guy turning him into some beautiful, perfect being.  Dude, at 30 years old you should be beyond this kind of unrealistic thinking.

You don't even know him yet you are by you're own words "unworthy" of him.  Well that is just ridiculous.  It is the thought process of a prepubescent 12 year old girl...   Lol  omg... Be a MAN!!  Even if you're gay, just be a MAN!!!!

"The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function."  - F. Scott Fitzgerald


#20    The Unseen

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 12:16 AM

View PostVoyager, on 23 October 2012 - 12:56 AM, said:

(From October 16, 2012)
I've been working at a recycling plant for the past 2 months; it's a temporary job, so I don't know how long I'm going to be there.

But from day 1, there was this gentleman who I spotted, and from the moment I saw him I knew I had to find a way to touch bases with him... I know when people say "he/she looks like an angel" it now sound so corny and cliche.' I, for one, have never seen an angel, but this guy has to be the closest to one I have ever seen! That's the only way I can describe him. We haven't had a lot of interaction because we work in two separate areas. We only see each other when we're clocking in and out.

He looked in my face one morning and said "what's up?" and I was so tongue tied that I don't remember if I said anything back. he must have thought that was rude or maybe that I wasn't interested. But over the past couple weeks I've been trying to make him more comfortable around me, because he often walks with his eyes looking at the ground... so I speak whenever I can... and it seems like he has warmed up to me as much as he can with the brief interaction. But several days ago it hit me that I may only be on this job another week or two, and this is the only place where I ever see him. So I have been trying to work up the nerve to introduce myself and give him my contact info. I only knew his name from incidentally standing behind him one day when he was clocking out (because I was too scared to talk to him). You know how it is when you have a crush on someone? Well at least for me, I get really clumsy!

So, today I talked myself into introducing myself to him, hoping I would catch him alone. And it just so happened that he was sitting in the office (door is always opened) with the light off, and there was no one in the hallway waiting to clock out this time. I saw him when he walked in. So I thought to myself "this may be your chance... do it now...do it now!" So, with every nerve in my body going haywire, I sucked it up, went to the office door and asked him if I could "holler" at em' for a second. he was like "What happened?" (lol), and I motion for the nearby door that leads outside, tripping over a rug on my way out (good thing I didn't fall on my face)... I just told him that I never properly introduced myself, that I didn't know how long I would be there or how long he would be there, and I gave him my number. I didn't know what he was going to do, but he actually saved it in his phone.

So now I play the waiting game. I don't know if he just saved the number as simply not to be snobbish and say "Nah, I'm good..." or if he really intends on calling me. I'm glad that I actually worked up the courage (for the first time in my 30 years of life) to talk to my crush face to face and give him my telephone number. But it's only half the battle. Now, I have to wonder about if he's going to call, and if he does, what I'm going to say to him.

So my question is: Do you think he will call? if so, how long do you think it will take for him to call?

I'm sorry about the length of this. I'm a storyteller, and I was trying to give enough details so you would have a good overall view of the situation (I tried not to be too elaborate).


*(10/21/12)*

He hasn't called, but I'm going to try not to sweat it. I do see him every day at work, though. The other day, however, I walked in the changing room where they hang out until it's time to go. He and a couple other men (including his dad) were playing a game of dice. I never spoke to them before but because he was there (and I want to take every possible chance to interact with him) I commented on their game ("What kind of game yall got going here?"]. Their response seemed welcoming... but he made the comment to an older man "When you going to introduce me to your daughter?" Only he and I would know what that meant: it was his indirect--and non-rude way of telling me is into girls, not guys.

Plus he hasn't been showing me much of anything to suggest that he's interested. A couple of people who I have run this situation by tell me that he is probably Bi-curious (having only been with females but attracted to guys also) but that I need to give him time and space, because I put him on the spot with giving him my phone number. Now he's uncomfortable but still likes what I did... and just has mixed feelings/thoughts about the situation... but will eventually open up, if I show interest in getting to know him and keep the ball in his court, at the same time. So, I'm going to take the advise of many and be patient with him. He has to be bale to trust me first, and I understand that.


I might have done it backwards, indeed, but I've been making small talk whenever I get the chance (the only time we really have to chat is when we're waiting by the time clock). Although he never initiates a conversation with me, he does engage convo when I initiate it (and doesn't seem withdrawn at all). The other day I did ask him about how he likes working in his department and so on... I just started to chat with his dad as well; turns out that he even knows my mom. But he used to play football---so my dude probably also plays football---I'll bring this up to him the next time I see him. I imagine there are a few good subjects to talk about with him, and eventually I will. I think I will, however, avoid asking him anything that has to do with a significant other, because if it turns out he does have a wife or a g/f it's only going to make me jealous. I want to keep the (potential) friendship as basic as possible until we're both comfortable enough to go deeper. But judging from his comment the other day "When are you going to introduce me to your daughter?" I gather that he's probably single.

I also ride to and from work with his cousin, so I've been learning little things from him as well. From what I understand, my dude is a "good kid." I saw this in him to begin with and his cousin's comment only confirms what I felt about him. and I understand that he's also a funny guy (joker). This is a definite plus, because I love a dude who has a good sense of humor and can make me laugh... his smile is adorable too, so I think I would try to keep him smiling as much as possible.


*UPDATE* (10/22/12)

I think he can read between the lines. I honestly think he is confused by the gesture, though. What's probably running through his mind is: "This dude definitely just hit on me... Naaah, it couldn't be... what would give him the gall to just assume I'm into dudes anyway...?!... Do I look or act gay? maybe he's just really friendly... but he does seem kinda weird... he doesn't talk much, and he acts nervous around me... I'm not going to call him until I feel this situation out a little more... but just in case he thinks he can try any funny business, I'll keep a little distance..." I read a lot from body language, conversation, the tone of one's voice... and this is how he has been acting since I approached him. It even seems like he's literally running from me (by little behavioral patterns that he's now changed). Again, he'll answer questions with no push-back, but it may just be that he's such a nice guy that he'll engage me just not to be rude... because he never speaks to me on his own (other than that one day before this happened) or even looks at me, or acknowledges my existence (Does a it hurt? Yes. I've been thinking about it all day since I noticed it this morning; almost thought I wouldn't be able to eat my lunch today for being so upset, or down in the dump, rather). I will say, he did come in the door the other morning and I turned to catch him locking eyes with me for about 2 secs before I turned away in shock!
You sound like a stalker and quite frankly If I were him I would avoid you all together at any cost,LOL,still you have to be the one that might have to make the first move and the second and the third.but still your coming off strong and he probable wont make any move towords you,Ive never seen your face but you sound like a fatal attraction,I worry for him because of you,what you need to do is ignor him for a few weeks and see if he comes around.,if he does then date him if he dosen't then it was never ment to be and he should be left alone and always remember there are more fish in the sea.Also you might get ran over if you push to hard and I mean your a guy and he likes girls and if I were him I would take great offence in getting hit on by a guy and that would put you in danger,but Im not him .You said he shows no intrest in you and maybe that is your sign to "KEEP LOOKING ELSE WHERE" If you force yourself on him you'll get no where.Frankly I thank it's a lost cause and you should leave well enough alone.just be glad you got to talk with him,JMO.

Edited by The Unseen, 26 October 2012 - 12:25 AM.


#21    Voyager

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 01:41 AM

View PostLava_Lady, on 26 October 2012 - 12:09 AM, said:

Ignore what exactly?  By what you've posted there is nothing there between you and this guy.  It's all you... You're the one obsessing on this guy turning him into some beautiful, perfect being.  Dude, at 30 years old you should be beyond this kind of unrealistic thinking.

You don't even know him yet you are by you're own words "unworthy" of him.  Well that is just ridiculous.  It is the thought process of a prepubescent 12 year old girl...   Lol  omg... Be a MAN!!  Even if you're gay, just be a MAN!!!!

I did not say he was perfect. I said he was perfect to me. There is a difference that I probably should have outlined. I'm not THAT much into fantasy that I think he doesn't sweat, burp, have morning breath, etc... Of course he's human. I was using figurative language. I don't think he is a literal angel on earth. I know probably gets mad, feels conceited, etc... There is beauty in imperfections also.


#22    Jessica Christ

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 02:22 AM

The Unseen and Lava_Lady that is pretty horrid advice.

A crush is not a stalker.

Be a man? Why not be a human?

*snip*

Edited by libstaK, 27 October 2012 - 09:44 AM.


#23    Lava_Lady

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 02:34 AM

View PostChasingtherabbit, on 26 October 2012 - 02:22 AM, said:

The Unseen and Lava_Lady that is pretty horrid advice.

A crush is not a stalker.

Be a man? Why not be a human?

*snip*

*snip*  Its my opinion and I have a right to express it. Just like you!

Who said any thing about being a stalker anyway.
Comes a time in a persons life when they have to face reality, one can't be coddled forever.

if anyone posts their personal business on a public forum that person should be prepared to read things they don't want to hear.

This time sounds like YOU are the one offended NOT Voyager.  As a matter of fact he came back to defend himself and doesn't need you to baby him. *snip*

Edited by libstaK, 27 October 2012 - 09:44 AM.
personal attack

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#24    Voyager

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 02:34 AM

View PostThe Unseen, on 26 October 2012 - 12:16 AM, said:

You sound like a stalker and quite frankly If I were him I would avoid you all together at any cost,LOL,still you have to be the one that might have to make the first move and the second and the third.but still your coming off strong and he probable wont make any move towords you,Ive never seen your face but you sound like a fatal attraction,I worry for him because of you,what you need to do is ignor him for a few weeks and see if he comes around.,if he does then date him if he dosen't then it was never ment to be and he should be left alone and always remember there are more fish in the sea.Also you might get ran over if you push to hard and I mean your a guy and he likes girls and if I were him I would take great offence in getting hit on by a guy and that would put you in danger,but Im not him .You said he shows no intrest in you and maybe that is your sign to "KEEP LOOKING ELSE WHERE" If you force yourself on him you'll get no where.Frankly I thank it's a lost cause and you should leave well enough alone.just be glad you got to talk with him,JMO.

If I was a stalker, I would try to catch his last name on the time clock so that I can look him up on pipl.com or some other private investigating site, or try to follow him home, or cut off a strand of his hair or a piece of his clothes and sleep with it under my pillow. But believe it or not, I have too much respect and consideration for him to do any of these things. I'm not a psycho (at least I hope I'm not). I just have an admiration for him that is not easy to describe. And I'm sorry that you are so homophobic (?) that you would try to do me bodily harm if I suggested that I had a crush on you?


#25    The Unseen

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 04:01 AM

View PostVoyager, on 26 October 2012 - 02:34 AM, said:

If I was a stalker, I would try to catch his last name on the time clock so that I can look him up on pipl.com or some other private investigating site, or try to follow him home, or cut off a strand of his hair or a piece of his clothes and sleep with it under my pillow. But believe it or not, I have too much respect and consideration for him to do any of these things. I'm not a psycho (at least I hope I'm not). I just have an admiration for him that is not easy to describe. And I'm sorry that you are so homophobic (?) that you would try to do me bodily harm if I suggested that I had a crush on you?
I 'm sorry, I didn't say you were a stalker it just sounded like that was what you were doing,I'm also sorry to have come off that way sounding homophobic,which I am not,I just don't want to get hit on by any guy,heck No one wants to hit on me anyway,When I said I would feel highly offended and things would become dangerous,I never said I would harm you,I did my killing in the millitary and don't want to kill anyone,I know Im going to hell for what I did killing my fellow man.but what I did I did for my country,I will in no way harm anyone who dosen't deserve it,It takes big Guts to come here to ask for advice from people like me who can voice their opinion,even though sometimes it's not what your looking for and for that You have my RESPECT.Sir you are no Psyco and I ask for your forgivness if I came across evil mean and nasty. as for being homophobic I sir am not,I believe in "To Each Their Own".but I also will be the first to let others know I like women and say stupid things in doing so.I hope he comes around but if he dosen't,Oh Well there are many many more fish in the sea and all you need is to use the right bait,youll find someone and I hope you do.And when I said you might get ran over I was talking about your heart,nothing hurts more than a broken heart.

Edited by The Unseen, 26 October 2012 - 04:05 AM.


#26    Jessica Christ

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 03:01 PM

View PostLava_Lady, on 26 October 2012 - 02:34 AM, said:

Why don't you just keep chasing the rabbit, hostile little troll.  Its my opinion and I have a right to express it. Just like you!

Who said any thing about being a stalker anyway.
Comes a time in a persons life when they have to face reality, one can't be coddled forever.

if anyone posts their personal business on a public forum that person should be prepared to read things they don't want to hear.

This time sounds like YOU are the one offended NOT Voyager.  As a matter of fact he came back to defend himself and doesn't need you to baby him.  If we made you sick, go to the bathroom and stay out of the freakin forum.

I was not defending anyone but instead taking offense at the backwardness in certain views which keep society in the 1950's. That macho crap mindset is behind the times.

*snip*

Edited by libstaK, 28 October 2012 - 12:31 AM.
refer moderator comment in thread


#27    Jessica Christ

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 07:36 PM

View PostLava_Lady, on 26 October 2012 - 05:39 PM, said:

You should just keep your sickness to yourself... I couldn't care less what you think.  You are nobody to me, you don't exist.

We all exist.

Your advice seemed poor to me and deserved commentary.

If you were to take your own advice it would be something like: why don't you act more like a woman?

View PostLava_Lady, on 26 October 2012 - 12:09 AM, said:

Ignore what exactly?  By what you've posted there is nothing there between you and this guy.  It's all you... You're the one obsessing on this guy turning him into some beautiful, perfect being.  Dude, at 30 years old you should be beyond this kind of unrealistic thinking.

You don't even know him yet you are by you're own words "unworthy" of him.  Well that is just ridiculous.  It is the thought process of a prepubescent 12 year old girl...   Lol  omg... Be a MAN!!  Even if you're gay, just be a MAN!!!!



#28    Jessica Christ

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 07:43 PM

And no one should believe that lie that at 30 you should act a certain way or you should stop daydreaming and fantasizing. Don't let them take your imagination, heart, or ever allow them to make you feel inadequte for not being as unsophisticated and rough as them.


#29    Voyager

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Posted 26 October 2012 - 10:48 PM

View PostThe Unseen, on 26 October 2012 - 04:01 AM, said:

I 'm sorry, I didn't say you were a stalker it just sounded like that was what you were doing,I'm also sorry to have come off that way sounding homophobic,which I am not,I just don't want to get hit on by any guy,heck No one wants to hit on me anyway,When I said I would feel highly offended and things would become dangerous,I never said I would harm you,I did my killing in the millitary and don't want to kill anyone,I know Im going to hell for what I did killing my fellow man.but what I did I did for my country,I will in no way harm anyone who dosen't deserve it,It takes big Guts to come here to ask for advice from people like me who can voice their opinion,even though sometimes it's not what your looking for and for that You have my RESPECT.Sir you are no Psyco and I ask for your forgivness if I came across evil mean and nasty. as for being homophobic I sir am not,I believe in "To Each Their Own".but I also will be the first to let others know I like women and say stupid things in doing so.I hope he comes around but if he dosen't,Oh Well there are many many more fish in the sea and all you need is to use the right bait,youll find someone and I hope you do.And when I said you might get ran over I was talking about your heart,nothing hurts more than a broken heart.

Thanks


#30    Jessica Christ

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Posted 27 October 2012 - 08:21 AM

View PostThe Unseen, on 26 October 2012 - 03:34 AM, said:

One more thing Its you who give stalkers advice to do what they do and that makes you a

One more item....which stalker exactly was I giving advice too? As far as I know none exist on this thread?





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