105 replies to this topic

[King Fluffs]

People always have, and always will want to fit in.

Sadly, those who dress as they wish and do the extraordinary are often shunned by the "normal" people in society.

[Lilly]

Please do not use the forums to preach your religious beliefs.

Refer to UM rules here:

• 2j. Preaching: Do not use the site to promote or 'preach' your own religious beliefs to other members.

[starchild1976]

It is only in your head that individuals can't be socially accepted. That is why you may feel alienated. You just have to be willing to meet people who aren't petty. It may be your family circle which has gotten you trapped into this cycle of attracting loosers like your brother who have no true self identity.

[euroninja]

Render, on 03 December 2012 - 08:26 AM, said:

Kind of ironic that you're pretending to dislike conformity, but at the same time are preaching for the world to conform to your ways.


Lets see the differences of the world where ppl don't have solidarity with each other (which you obviously mistake for conformity half of your lil debate), or don't conform or completely lack empathy because they are so consumed by their own petty ways:
Your world: Nobody talks to each others, everyone is passively agressive but pretends to have no emotions. If you have children you are not allowed to express your love for them because that would be conformity. Don't except any respect either from them, that's classified as conformity. College and school in general is non-existent because learning the same things is conformity. If you're wearing the same shoes as somebody else or dress in a location or event appropriate way you better buy some hoochy pimp clothes because you are being submitted to conformity. Got a job? Better resign right away otherwhise you're conforming to social standards of having a job and creating a life of your own. Etc...

The more reasonable and logical world: Having emotions is not disgraceful, and learning how to deal with them is an admirable asset.
Something the OP obviously lacks...you're a vessel of frustration and small mindedness. Only your way is the correct way in your mind, and you'll do everything to be special to hide your passive agressive nature to the world.

Applause to you Render. It must be "that" phase AB's going through. Just like everything in the 21st century it's regurgitated sentiment like people desperately trying to be "aleternative" when everything is already "alternative". Good manners and propriety are always refreshing. If you really want to be different be an eccentric, but you have to have great talent to pull that off and lots of money does help and sometimes necessary.
John Lennon was an eccentric because he could afford it. Truman Capote afforded to be an eccentric but look what happened to him. Even the uniqueness of youth is such a cliche, yada yada yada. This world will break you down. You're not all that AB. It reminds me of those angry young men trend back in the '60s Britain. They got old. Story closed.

[Render]

euroninja, on 12 December 2012 - 05:17 AM, said:

Applause to you Render. It must be "that" phase AB's going through.

Puberty can be really tough for some.

[aryannatimothy]

Just try to be yourself and don't think much of what people have to say.

[SpiritWriter]

There is a lot of pressure to fit in, and this is very apparent when trying to fill out the correct forms and provide the correct information for the IRS regulations. It's somehow logical to go into debt in our society, how does that make sence, to pay back for years and years until our death... we live in a society that pretty much tries to force out the same prototype over and over again, there will be some sort of artistic revolution is my assumption that will begin to change that.... And it's starting with me. screw the IRS - lol jk

Were trained what to say in job interviews - tell them your a team player, well what if I'm not? be assertive, but don't ask too many questions...  value the systems we have over your own mortality, well maybe I won't...
Were cultivated by the media
We must strive to meet financial goals to afford to make it down the street, not to mention the jonses
I say screw the jonses too, but of course in niceness, they can come over for dinner but they sure won't be impressed by the size of my tv

[Mr Right Wing]

starchild1976, on 12 December 2012 - 03:26 AM, said:

It is only in your head that individuals can't be socially accepted. That is why you may feel alienated. You just have to be willing to meet people who aren't petty. It may be your family circle which has gotten you trapped into this cycle of attracting loosers like your brother who have no true self identity.

Most people lack confidence in themselves.

The hatred shown towards individuals for not conforming to the herd is transferrence.

[Sean93]

I don't, I do what I like.

Now before you think this is some angsty thing, hear me out.

I've never been a people person, never will be so I don't feel the need to try and fit in. I can't stand people who crave attention or 'likes' on facebook or any of that crap and truth is, I like being an outsider but not in a cheesy "I'm a unique little butterfly way", just in the sense that I prefer to keep to myself and I prefer people like that too (although Ironically, the only friend I really ever be with is a big socialiser/people person so I have no idea why he likes hanging around with me).

Your brother is the kind of person I hate - doing things to fit in, I don't see the point in doing s**t like that, there's no one on this Earth who I care about enough to care what they think of me, I hate the notion of trying to please someone - why should I or anyone else have to?

I'm in the same boat as you too man, I prefer alternatives to beer (Breaking a traditional Irish stereotype here!) and the reaction I get from people is one of shock and awe because everyone here 14 and up drinks ffs (I've known of younger than that though). My friend somehow seems insistent on me drinking and although he doesn't actually say it (more so in sub-text) I can tell that he badly wants me to drink and socialise like him and his other friends but **** - why should he or anyone else care about what I do? Some social groups can't stand by and watch people get on with what they prefer to do and that boils my blood, people should be left to do what they want and enjoy their hobbies etc. (so long as it ain't harming anyone right? )

And I see no reason to go to the cinema with anyone, you're watching a film, not having a debate on E=mc2 and if people go for the old 'date' thing, they'll always spend half of the time groping and kissing, just save a step and get a room.

I do love abusing this introversion of mine though, really it's awesome because the reactions and awkwardness is always hilarious. Example - I haven't kissed a girl in about 5-6 years and when I told a few guys I know the reactions were absolutely hilarious lots of 's all round and like I said above, people somehow can;t stand to see someone doing something drastically different to them and I've been told "I'll get you set-up". Trust me, I've had ample chances at getting laid and 'meeting' but I'm afraid it'll venture into the old 'Relationship territory - NO NO NO. for all you in a relationship right now, I pity you, really.

Of course not conforming to society has it's dark side such as lack of job opportunites (because I ******* hate all that 'fitting in at work thing'  - The shoes - and those staff night outs.) and I've also been called rude by many people. Funny thing is though, at college I was so quiet that the lecturer didn't realise I was there for two months.

And finally, it;s that time of the year again, the most overrated and pointless day of the year for me...the birthday, where I have to make up an excuse NOT to do stuff because people don't take 'no for an answer'!

But I've got all you internet people to keel the long days over...and the best part about it is, we'll never meet!

"Never compromise, even in the face of Armageddon" - Rorschach.

Edited by Sean93, 14 December 2012 - 01:08 AM.

[JGirl]

Sean93, on 14 December 2012 - 12:48 AM, said:

I don't, I do what I like.

you sound antisocial, not necessarily nonconformist.
i wonder if you think it really is so cool that you are such an individual  you haven't kissed a girl in 5 or 6 years and this is something you brag to your guy friends about.
yeah.

Edited by JGirl, 14 December 2012 - 01:33 AM.

[Sean93]

JGirl, on 14 December 2012 - 01:33 AM, said:

you sound antisocial, not necessarily nonconformist.
i wonder if you think it really is so cool that you are such an individual  you haven't kissed a girl in 5 or 6 years and this is something you brag to your guy friends about.
yeah.

Yeah, duh, there's a reason People don't be around me, it;s because when they are around me they look less cool...Gosh.

[JGirl]

Sean93, on 14 December 2012 - 01:38 AM, said:

Yeah, duh, there's a reason People don't be around me, it;s because when they are around me they look less cool...Gosh.

i'm sure that must be it

[starchild1976]

Your attitude about being different comes from the crowd you hang out in which in this case is your family. You start building life according to  your philosophy and simply forget the way they tried to force you to be. This appears to be a classic case of emotional and psychological theft where the family has imposed their beliefs and lifestyle on you. I'm not talking paranormal. I mean literally they have tried to rob you of your self worth in revenge for your ability to outshine them. They stomp on you, because heaven forebid you find out there is a way in which to live freely outside of their norm. This is simply my opinion. Many people are more like you than you may assume, but you've been force fed bull all your life and the result is depression as long as you hold onto the negative tapes they're playing in your head. People are people. Nobody is exactly like anybody. Listen to your instincts as they guide you to a life taylor made for you by you.Once you abandon their ideas life will unfold along your path and you will grow into yourself,, an individual who never thinks about what they're lacking or how they're drifferent. Life is not meant to be about our differences. It is meant to be about growing into our individuality and learning to love other individuals. Your intelligence level is greater than that of your family, but you have to abandon the need for their approval before you can totally embrace your gifts. Truth is you don't need a present, because you are gifted philosophically and you are hungry for what your family never gave you which sounds like acceptance. And everyone might not always agree with your beliefs, but people will come along who see you for your brilliance if you let go of bitterness. You're not going to attract the folks you want to meet until then. By the way, gift giving on holidays and birthdays is not about proving anyone's worth. It is only a tradition and it is considered in most cultures to be respectful to follow traditions as they are devised to bring us closer together. If you feel bitterness about following traditions perhaps you were taught the wrong way as to why we follow them as a society. It is about togetherness and when done right togetherness does not rob one of individuality. I have to tell you it is in my opinion a sign of intelligence that you question everyday things, but I feel aside from holidays and meal times there are other deeply hidden patterns in your family structure which need your understanding  to see why you are truly so bitter toward your family. I think it goes well beyond the little things. No one should ever answer their child with avoidance type behavior the way your mother does and I don't care if you are thirty. I think probably you display avoidance type behavior and this likely comes from these folks you were raised around who consider themselves normal when in fact they do not sound functional in the least. Focus on being functional rather than normal.Sometimes people will argue with you just to keep you in chains.  I do think you should keep a journal and try to fully understand the mental abuse inflicted on you, but I also believe you will have to accept them the way they are and accept yourself as who you are and limit your time with them.

Edited by starchild1976, Yesterday, 03:11 AM.

[Gearshaag]

Eh, this isn't really an easy question to answer. I think that there are different types of so-called 'nonconformity' and different reasons people are that way. Some folks out there just seek to do whatever the opposite of what everyone else is doing because it gives them a sort of sense of uniqueness. I think that often times these folks have some sort of inadequacy that causes them to act and think that way.
People are, in quite a l

[Gearshaag]

 Gearshaag, on 23 May 2013 - 12:34 PM, said:

Eh, this isn't really an easy question to answer. I think that there are different types of so-called 'nonconformity' and different reasons people are that way. Some folks out there just seek to do whatever the opposite of what everyone else is doing because it gives them a sort of sense of uniqueness. I think that often times these folks have some sort of inadequacy that causes them to act and think that way.
People are, in quite a l

Sorry, my phone is really p***ing me off, forget it. I was going to say something but forget it..