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Funny Last Words

Really Funny

 Started by CuriousGreek , Dec 16 2012 07:08 PM
funny last words humor fun

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#1    CuriousGreek

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Posted 16 December 2012 - 07:08 PM

Hey, boys and girls. I was browsing the Internet, for finding some good jokes, and i came up with some very funny last words. They're really funny and i decided to share them with you here. If you know anything else, that i haven't posted , feel free to add them. Enjoy!! :tu:




Noo these windows are ok to lean on.

Don’t worry it has airbags.

Hey what’s that buzzing noise?

Don’t worry its not that deep.

No, he doesn'’t bite!

Hey look a light at the end of the tunnel.

I can pass this guy.

My brakes are fine.

Nice doggy.

I think it's trying to communicate...

"Homicidal Tendencies"?

Hey, you're Eminem, aren't you?

Nah, I don't think we need to go to the hospital.

It's a dud! It's a dud! It's a du...

Don't touch the red button!

Gee, that's a cute tattoo.

It's fireproof.

What does this button do?

So, you're a cannibal.

Are you sure the power is off?

Pull the pin and count to what?

Which wire was I supposed to cut?

I wonder where the mother bear is.

I've seen this done on TV.

These are the good kind of mushrooms.

I'll hold it and you light the fuse.

You look just like Charles Manson

Let it down slowly.

OK, I'll go ahead and make your day.

This doesn't taste right.

I can make this light before it changes

I can do that with my eyes closed

look ma! no hands!

Hey that's not a violin.

Don't be so superstitious.

Don't worry, we outnumber them.

I'll be right back.

Of course it's safe!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Edited by CuriousGreek, 16 December 2012 - 07:09 PM.

Αν ανάμεσα σ’ όλον τον κόσμο,
νιώθεις πως δεν υπάρχουνε λύσεις,
τότε μόνο δυο μάτια μπορούνε,
να σε κάνουν να θέλεις να ζήσεις.

#2    synchronomy

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Posted 16 December 2012 - 07:45 PM

Commonly heard in Texas:

"Here, hold my beer and watch this!"
At the heart of science is an essential balance between two seemingly contradictory attitudes--an openness to new ideas, no matter how bizarre or counterintuitive they may be, and the most ruthless skeptical scrutiny of all ideas, old and new.
This is how deep truths are winnowed from deep nonsense. -- Carl Sagan

#3    Hilander

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Posted 16 December 2012 - 07:59 PM

Posted Image  Posted Image

#4    CuriousGreek

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Posted 16 December 2012 - 08:05 PM

View Postsynchronomy, on 16 December 2012 - 07:45 PM, said:

Commonly heard in Texas:

"Here, hold my beer and watch this!"
lol, good one :lol:
Αν ανάμεσα σ’ όλον τον κόσμο,
νιώθεις πως δεν υπάρχουνε λύσεις,
τότε μόνο δυο μάτια μπορούνε,
να σε κάνουν να θέλεις να ζήσεις.

#5    catch-me-if-you-can

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Posted 16 December 2012 - 09:03 PM

View Postsynchronomy, on 16 December 2012 - 07:45 PM, said:

Commonly heard in Texas:

"Here, hold my beer and watch this!"
More like Arkansas, lol. Most commonly heard in Texas, "I don't have your money right now, Holmes!" lol. But to add to the random list despite location, "You know I'm really a guy, right?" lol

#6    lsra

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Posted 16 December 2012 - 09:08 PM

Famous last words uttered at Little Bighorn, "Where'd all these Indians come from?"

#7    Overdueleaf

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Posted 16 December 2012 - 09:30 PM

here is one i found...

"They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance."
said general john sedgwick during the civil war right before he was sniped by confederate soldiers
Posted Image

Your memory IS foggy. It's the pancakes

#8    CuriousGreek

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Posted 16 December 2012 - 10:16 PM

View Postbones101proof, on 16 December 2012 - 09:03 PM, said:

More like Arkansas, lol. Most commonly heard in Texas, "I don't have your money right now, Holmes!" lol. But to add to the random list despite location, "You know I'm really a guy, right?" lol
ROFL at the second one :lol: :lol:

View Postlsra, on 16 December 2012 - 09:08 PM, said:

Famous last words uttered at Little Bighorn, "Where'd all these Indians come from?"
lol :P
Αν ανάμεσα σ’ όλον τον κόσμο,
νιώθεις πως δεν υπάρχουνε λύσεις,
τότε μόνο δυο μάτια μπορούνε,
να σε κάνουν να θέλεις να ζήσεις.

#9    Hasina

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Posted 16 December 2012 - 10:43 PM

View Postsynchronomy, on 16 December 2012 - 07:45 PM, said:

Commonly heard in Texas:

"Here, hold my beer and watch this!"
More along the lines of 'think I can hit the fence before the longhorn hits me?'

Posted Image

~MEH~

#10    Taun

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Posted 02 January 2013 - 07:36 PM

There is an old joke in the Army about the three most dangerous things you will ever hear...

1. A Second Lieutentant saying "It's been my experience..."
2. A Major saying "I've been thinking..."
3. A helicopter pilot saying "Watch this!"

#11    Walter White

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Posted 04 January 2013 - 02:11 AM

View PostOverdueleaf, on 16 December 2012 - 09:30 PM, said:

here is one i found...

"They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance."
said general john sedgwick during the civil war right before he was sniped by confederate soldiers
I was just about to write that one!

"Thomas Jefferson - still survives" - John Adams

Thomas Jefferson died on the same day.


"I can anticipate no greater calamity for the country than the dissolution of the Union.  It would be an accumulation of all the evils we complain of, and I am willing to sacrifice everything but honor for it's preservation." - General Robert E. Lee

"I think I understand what military fame is; to be killed on the field of battle and have your name misspelled in the newspapers." - Major General William Tecumseh Sherman

#12    FinnYellow

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Posted 10 January 2013 - 08:49 PM

"Is that supposed to happen?" LOL These are hysterical! :rofl:
May you have warm words on a cold evening,
a full moon on a dark night,
and the road downhill all the way to your door.

#13    SubjectDigamma

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Posted 20 January 2013 - 11:03 PM

I thinks she's asleep

#14    EllJay

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Posted 20 January 2013 - 11:28 PM

"Trust me, I'm a professional.!!"

and

"I'm a skeptic, I dont believe in that"




.
"Opinions are like a**holes, everyone seems to have one" - Dirty Harry

"All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand... "

"I have a black belt in Feng Shui, the subtle martial art. I go home to you and move a lamp and a chair... twelve years later you lay there on the floor with broken kneecaps and destitute."

#15    Taun

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Posted 23 January 2013 - 12:30 PM

Might not be actual "last words" but there is a tombstone of a towns well known hypocondriac that states "I told you I was sick"...
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