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Guilt

Posted by HeartsAreForBreaking , 16 May 2012 · 652 views

A lot of my time these days is spent working 40-60 hours a week; I don't always have a lot else on my plate, seeing as I've fulfilled all my graduation requirements, however I do meet with my high school counselor now and then. She's been having..."difficulties", with her marriage for a while now, and a couple weeks ago while we were doing our Tuesday lunch thing, we were waiting for the waitor to bring our food out, and she was telling me what's been happening on that lately, and she started crying. I felt really bad, and after we talked about it for a while more she stopped crying and was doing a bit better, but for a moment while we were eating, I had this brief thought, something along the lines of being worried that she'd accidentally mess up something on my transcripts or other paperwork, being in this kind of state. How wrong is that? How much more horrible could I possibly be? I wanted to jab myself with a fork from the table or something, because I mean, she's under a ton of stress with what's going on between her and her husband, and internally she's in some major emotional turmoil. And I'm thinking about a prospective mistake that could probably be fixed with 5 minutes and some whiteout? I feel really guilty...




Don't feel guilty. She should pass you onto another counselor if possible. If not just double check her work-often.
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What's wrong? You're doing both, you're worried about your work and at the same time you care enough about her and her problems to even post here. Don't think you're disrespectful or cold simply because you managed to see one of the possible outcomes of her current situation. She took the job, she knows what she has to do and if she fails, either she'll feel bad enough to fix it herself or someone else will do it for her. I'm sure she would have taken some time off if she thought it was necessary, so I guess she can still do the job just fine. Everything is as it should be, the guilt, the feelings, worrying about your work...you should be more concerned if you just didn't care about her problems at all.
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Knight Of Shadows
May 16 2012 11:04 PM
can I jab you with the fork instead ?
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Princess Tumbleweed
May 17 2012 04:00 AM
Nothing wrong with that. You were thinking in a future thought, It's like playing chess, you have to think of moves before you make them, what can happen if you make that move. So you're just thinking of your future in a strategic way. You are also concerned with her feelings or you would not feel bad for thinking of how this can effect you and both are very natural, believe it or not it is a survival skill that some people forget to use and make terrible life mistakes for not thinking of things before they jump in.
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HeartsAreForBreaking
May 18 2012 12:00 PM

Knight Of Shadows, on 16 May 2012 - 11:04 PM, said:

can I jab you with the fork instead ?

No thanks, I've been offered to be poked with better things than forks :P
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joenhaggrity
Jun 11 2012 01:37 AM
you was tired
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SuddenPsychic
Sep 16 2012 05:59 AM
Okay, I just came across this and I know you've graduated and moved on but your counselor was completely in the wrong.  It was her job to support you, not the other way around.  100% unprofessional and unethical.  Good for you that you thought about yourself, that's who she was supposed to be thinking about when she met with you.  I hope you released your guilt and gave yourself props for clear thinking in a jumbled mess of a situation.  I say grrrr to hrrrr.
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HeartsAreForBreaking
Sep 16 2012 06:22 AM

SuddenPsychic, on 16 September 2012 - 05:59 AM, said:

Okay, I just came across this and I know you've graduated and moved on but your counselor was completely in the wrong.  It was her job to support you, not the other way around.  100% unprofessional and unethical.  Good for you that you thought about yourself, that's who she was supposed to be thinking about when she met with you.  I hope you released your guilt and gave yourself props for clear thinking in a jumbled mess of a situation.  I say grrrr to hrrrr.
Um, excuse me if I come off as being rude or something otherwise here, but my HS counselor of the time, and now just a friend, did nothing wrong. She's been having marital issues, something I think many many long-term couples have at some point, and yes, while she was my HS counselor at the time, she's also been a very good friend for several years now and I feel that we're both supportive of each other just about equally. She did handle the administrative tasks in regards to my education in a professional and ethical manner, and especially this one incident during a lunch that I mentioned in my original post here, that was a social meeting rather than one through any school-related matters, so as far as anyone who was directly involved is concerned, she had just as much right to talk about anything as I would in that setting. My counselor of the time, and now just a very good friend as stated above, was not in the wrong, and not acting unprofessionally or unethically. I did not say a word about this incident from my original post to be told I was "right", or to have someone I really care about attacked in this manner. I'm not looking to get into some late-night "he posted she posted" war, or instigate hostilities, but quite frankly Mrs., Ms., or ma'am, you're wrong. I hope my previous words here have clarified that for you; have a good night.
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