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the bible seen as a book


Hotoke

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. it is funny and actually pretty good. the guy makes some good arguments about god

GENESIS

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God just created the heavens and the earth and now he had to rest from al that work of creating he had done. Do Gods get tired too? Was he physically or mentally tired?

Now he created paradise and there was also gold and onyx. What did they need the gold and the onix for?

God said he will make a helper and he made Eve. So God made the woman to be the helper of men.This is good.

Cain killed Abel and left to live in the land of Nod and there he had children with his wife. Adam and Eve had another son called Seth and he too had children with his wife. Where did they find their wives?

The lord made a mistake by creating men so he flooded all earth and put new good people on it. Noe and his family.One of Noe's grandchildren became a mighty warrior. (Very peacefully guy probably). A warrior against who? People were peaceful now and there were not that many people on earth yet to fight against. And I thought that the Lord does not make mistakes, he is perfect.

Abraham's wife could not have children so she proposed to Abraham to have sex with their egyptian servant. Abraham excepted and she got a child. Then the two women got mad with each other (of course).God allows you to have sex with your servant.

God told Abraham that every male must be circumcised including the ones bought with money from a foreigner .Actually every man should be circumcised, I know that most men are not. Does not everybody have to do what the bible tells you to do? You can also buy children, that is OK with God.

The lord rained down burning sulfur on Sodom and Gomorrah. Pretty cruel is it not?

Lot's two daughters had sex with him and got both pregnant. Nice family.

Abimelech brought sheep and cattle and male and female slaves and gave them to Abraham. Are you allowed to have slaves?

God asked Abraham to kill his only son. This is kind of cruel.

Jakob had two wives.Good stuff.

Jakob wrestles with god all night. How is that possible?

When Shechem son of the ruler of the area saw Dinah, he took her and violated her. Bad guy.

His master's wife took notice of Joseph and said,"Come to bed with me!"Bad wife.

The end of part.

Opinion: What I read was the life story of a family with all of their names and how God interacted with them. It seems that in those days God had a lot of direct conversation with the people and even wrestled with one of them. But it seems that God is not so loving and forgiving as I have been told. Actually he acts more as a violent and revenging god. He punished Adam and Eve forever for eating the forbidden apple. Then he flooded the earth and killed everybody and let burning sulfur rain on Sodom and Gomorrah. But I did not find any guidance for me yet in this holy book.

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EXODUS.

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God heard the groaning of the Israelites and after 430 years he remembered his covenant with Abraham. God does not have a good memory, he forgets things.

The Lord said to Moses . Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or make him blind? Is it not I the Lord. Now I know who makes people blind deaf and mute, it is the good Lord.

Jethro , the father in law of moses said "Now I know that the Lord is greater than all other gods. So there must be more than one God?

In one of the ten commandments it says"I the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third or fourth generation. That does not sound very forgiving.

If a man beats his male or female slave with a rod and the slave dies as a direct result, he must be punished, but he is not to be punished if the slave gets up after a day or two, since the slave is his property. So it is OK to have slaves.

If there is serious injury, you are to take life for life, eye for an eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burn for burn, wound for wound, bruise for bruise. This is justice from God, why do people not follow these rules from God now?Is it too cruel?

Anyone who has sexual relations with an animal must be put to death. Oops.

The Lord told Moses, "The seventh day is a Sabbath of rest, holy to the Lord. Whoever does any work on the Sabbath day must be put to death. If they would apply this rule there would not be many people left in Las Vegas. They must do it, it is the word of God or not? I just read it in the holy bible.

End of part.

Opinion: I still did not find any guidance just the story of Moses and how he talks with God. That would be nice if you could talk to god. Then I would find the answer to my questions right away.

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LEVITICUS.

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He is to wash the inner parts and the legs with water, and the priest is to burn all of it on the altar. It is a burnt offering, an offering made by fire, an aroma pleasing to the Lord. I have never seen this anywhere in any church, why? It is written in the bible and you must do what is written in the bible. But I guess the smell is not so good, but God likes it so you better do it. All these offerings must make a bloody mess.

He is to bring the fat, together with the breast before the Lord as a wave offering. The priest shall burn the fat on the altar but the breast belongs to Aaron and his sons. Of all the offerings, part is always for Aaron and his sons. This is a good business if you ask me. Maybe I should become a priest too.

You can not eat the meat of a camel, rabbit, pig, rat, lizard because it is unclean food. But you are allowed to eat crickets or grasshoppers. Oops I guess that I just sinned because I just had beacon and eggs for breakfast. Now I will have to offer a goat or a bull but where do I go with them?

When a man has an emission of semen, he must bathe his whole body with water or when a man lies with a woman and there is an emission of semen, both must bath with water, and they will be unclean till evening. Wow I did not know this, I must have been unclean for a long time.

Anyone who touches a woman that has her period will be unclean till evening. Anything she lies on or sit on will be unclean. When anyone touches it , he will be unclean till evening and must wash his clothes and bathe with water. I guess that if I take the buss I better wash my clothes and bathe with water because of these dirty women with their period.

Unlawful sexual relations. You must not do as they do in Egypt or in the land of Canaan. You can not have sexual relations with your mother, your father's wife, your sister, your son's daughter, your ant, your daughter in law, your brother's wife, with both a woman and her daughter, your wife's sister, your neighbor's wife, with a man, with an animal. This is good to know.

Various laws: Do not curse the deaf or put a stumbling block in front of the blind. Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material. Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard. Don't put tattoo marks on yourselves. Don't make your daughter a prostitute. Wow and I was just about to have my hair cut specially at the sides. Maybe that is why Elvis had those side-burns.

Punishments for sin. If anyone curses his father or mother, he must be put to death I should have told this to the judge. I was put in jail because I hit my 23 year old son after he cursed me. I guess the rules have changed, we don't follow the rues of the Holy Bible, the word of God.

If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death. Well now they get married and they even become Bishop or Governor.

No man who has any defect , no man who is blind, or lame, disfigured or deformed, no man with a crippled foot or hand or who is hunchbacked or dwarfed, or who has any eye defect, or who has festering or running sores or damaged testicles; he must not come near to offer the food of his God. Because of his defect , he must not go near the curtain or approach the altar, and so desecrate my sanctuary. Well I guess the Lord likes only perfect people.

End of part.

Opinion. Now I finally found some rules to live by. But I don't think anybody lives by those rules. So why read it when nobody follows it?It seems that everybody makes their own rules according to their convenience and needs. I did not read anything about sex with children or a woman with another woman.

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-NUMBERS.

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The people became impatient and said to Moses. Why have you brought us up out of Egypt to die in the desert? There is no bread! There is no water! And we detest this miserable food. Then the Lord sent venomous snakes among them; they bit the people and many Israelites died. Of course this is what happens if you complain about the food

Balaam has a conversation with his donkey? This is weird.

The Israelites took Heshbon from the Amorites. Then the Lord said to Moses, "Go up this mountain in the Abarim range and see the land I have given the Israelites. God did not give anything. The Israelites took it from the Amorites.

End of part.

Opinion. The people have to give offerings, daily, on the Sabbath, Monthly offerings, the Passover, feat of weeks, feast of trumpets, day of Atonement, feast of tabernacles,etc etc..That is a lot of offerings.

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DEUTERONOMY.

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If your very own brother, or your son or daughter, or the wife you love, or your closest friend secretly entices you, saying, "Let us go and worship other gods"You must certainly put him to death. Your hand must be first in putting him to death. But did the Lord not say that you shall not kill?

There should be no poor among you. If there is a poor man among your brothers in any of the towns of the land that the Lord your God is giving you, do not be hardhearted or tightfisted toward your poor brothers.Now this is something for all those rich religious people out there and politicians.

If a man has two wives, and he loves one but not the other...etc. Hey what happened? Why can I have only one wife? I am a religious man and the Lord told me that I can have two wives.

A woman must not wear men's clothing, nor a man wear women's clothing. Yes I like girls with mini skirts but not with pants. I agree with God.

If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married. Now this I like but you tell that that to President.

End of part.

Opinion: This was the history of Moses. What I belief is that Moses was very intelligent and a trained warier and also learned how to do tricks. When he put the plagues on Egypt other people in Egypt could do the same tricks. He probably had many powerful friends there and managed to get the Israelites out of Egypt. He uses God to make his people follow him to the promised land of milk and honey. And he could do that because these people had been slaves for a long time and were ignorant. His plan was to build an army and then conquer the promised land. The people where not many and not strong enough so he had to wait 40 years to build and train an army of soldiers. And he knew how to do it. He also made all these laws because he studied in Egypt. He was the only one who could talk to God. That is what he made the people to belief. That everything he did was inspired by god. He made the 10 commandments himself that is why he spent 40 days on top of the mountain. This was a smart guy and he did it.

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JOSHUA.

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End of part.

Opinion: There was not much more than stories about battles to conquer the holy land.God said " You shall not kill". We all know that. Now God tells the Israelites go and kill everybody and take those people's land because this is the promised land. They killed every male and took everything they had. These were innocent people living a peaceful life they had never harmed the Israelites. They must have killed many hundred s of thousands of people. Hitler was a cruel man and killed many Jewish but God is worse than Hitler. He has killed all humanity and left only Noe and his family. He killed everybody in Sodom and Gomorrah and now helps the Israelites to kill everybody and take the promised land by killing all these people. And this is the book that is supposed to guide me to go to heaven. I have not found much peaceful guidance yet.

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JUDGES.

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Now they keep on conquerer more land but don't kill the people this time they put them all to forced labor. In other words they turn them into slaves.

Again the Israelites did evil in the eyes of the Lord, so the Lord delivered them into the hands of the Philistines for forty years. Then God will save them again and then they did evil again and punish them again and over and over. Only fighting and fighting for land and power. And God always helping the Israelites once in a while when they ask God to help them again.

One day Samson went to Gaza where he saw a prostitute. He went in to spend the night with her. So prostitution was legal and it was OK with God.

Bring out the man who came into your house so we can have sex with him. The owner of the house went outside and said to them, "No my friends, don't be so vile. Since this man is my guest, don't do this disgraceful thing. Look here is my virgin daughter, and his concubine. I will bring them out to you now and you can use them and do to them whatever you wish. It seems like they did not treat people very nice in those day. But I don't know what this has to do with the word of God.

In those days Israel had no king and everyone did as he saw fit. OK.

End of part.

Opinion: Again nothing but battles, killing and raping. But still not much guidance for me.

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-RUTH.

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In the days when the judges ruled, there was a famine in the land.--------------When she heard that the Lord had come to the aid of his people by providing food for them. The Lord comes to help his people with food, only this was ten years after the famine started. Sometimes the Lord works very slow.

End of part.

Opinion: Nothing to mention.

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1 SAMUEL

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So the Lord rescued Israel that day. Sometimes the Lord helps Israel to win battles but not all the time.

End of part.

Opinion:Again nothing to mention

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2 SAMUEL

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David inquired of the Lord. "Shall I go up to one of the towns of Judah?" he asked. The Lord said, "Go up." David asked, "Where shall I go? " To Hebron," The Lord answered. It is always handy when you can ask God what to do next and get a direct answer right away. In those days you could do that.

The war between the house of Saul and the house of David lasted a long time. There were two kings in Israel having the same God and fighting each other. Let the strongest win.

David won because the Lord God Almighty was with him. Well it is easy to win when the Lord God Almighty is with you.

David took more concubines and wives in Jerusalem, and more sons and daughters were born to him.Lucky guy.

So David inquired of the Lord, and he answered, "Do not go straight up, but circle around behind them and attack them in the front of the balsam trees, move quickly, because that will mean the Lord has gone out in front of you to strike the Philistine army. So David did as the Lord commanded him. It is easy to win battles like that.

From the roof David saw a very beautiful woman bathing. He asked who she was. The man said, "She is Bathsheba the wife of Uriah. Then David sent messengers to get her. She came to him, and he slept with her. David told Jacob,"Put Uriah in the front line where the fighting is fiercest. Then withdraw from him so he will be struck down and die. This is the kind of people that God favors, the good king David that God talks to in person. But when you are a king you can do those things I guess.

Ammon the son of David said, "Come to bed with me my sister." "Don't, my brother!" she said to him. "Don't force me. Such a thing should not be done in Israel! Don't do this wicked thing. But he refused to listen to her, and since he was stronger than she, he raped her. Nice family.

End of part.

Opinion: I see a lot of hypocrisy here. King David has the favor of God, he even talks to him in person but he sins a lot, and even his sun is a weird guy. Does god have favorites too? Does God have human feelings? Or maybe God was created by humans?

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1 KINGS

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God talks to Solomon the son of David and who is the king now. God tells Solomon. "And if you walk in my ways and obey my statutes and commands as David your father did, I will give you a long life. We just read in 2 SAMUEL that king David had sinned a lot and now God puts him as an example of good behavior.

King Solomon however, loved many foreign women besides Pharaoh's daughter-Moabites, Amonites, Edomites, sidonians and hittites. They were from nations about which the Lord had told the Israelites "You must not intermarry with them, because they will surely turn your hearts after their gods". Nevertheless Solomon held fast to them in love. He had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines, and his wives led him astray. Well women have been know to be blamed for a lot of problems in this world. It started in paradise. And when you have so many wives your problems will multiply. Poor Solomon.

Give me your son, "Elijah replied. He took him from her arms, carried him to the upper room where he was staying and laid him on his bed. Then he cried out to the Lord, "Oh Lord my god, have you brought tragedy also upon this widow I am staying with, by causing her son to die?". Then he stretched himself out on the boy three times and cried to the Lord, "Oh Lord my God, let this boy's life return to him. The Lord heard Elijahs cry , and the boy's life returned to him, and he lived. This guy was good. Almost like Jesus.

End of part.

Opinion. After the dead of Solomon there was one king after the other and they all did evil in the eyes of the Lord. People took other gods. For some reason people turned away from the Lord. Maybe there were to many disasters and then people stop believing and looked for better and more powerful gods and they tried Baal and other ones. But of course it is all the same.

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2 KINGS

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As they were walking along and talking together, suddenly a chariot of fire and horses of fire appeared and separated the two of them, and Elijah went up to heaven in a whirlwind. Man if I would see that I would belief in the Lord right away, no questions asked. But in Israel they still had a hard time to keep believing in the Lord after all this stuff that God did there.

When Elisha reached the house, there was the boy lying dead on his couch. He went in, shut the door on the two of them and prayed to the Lord. Then he got on the bed and lay upon the boy, mouth to mouth, eyes to eyes, hands to hands. As he stretched himself out upon him , the boy's body grew warm Well another miracle, if he would do this now in our time he would be put in jail for not having a practitioners license.

There was not enough bread and the servant said but how can I set this before a hundred men.Elisha answered,"Give it to the people to eat. For this is what the Lord says: "They will eat and have some left over." Then they ate and had some left over, according to the word of God. This guy Elisha was good. Why have I never heard of this guy.

Naaman had leprosy and went to see Elisha to get cured. Elisha told Naaman to wash himself seven times in the Jordan. So he did and his flesh was restored and became clean like that of a young boy. Wow.

The iron axhead fell into the water. "Oh, my lord," he cried out "it was borrowed!" Elisha asked, "Where did it fall?" When he showed him the place, Elisha cut a stick and threw it there, and made the iron float. "Lift it out," he said. Then the man reached out and took it.This was good too.

There was great famine again and this woman said to me, "Give up your son so we may eat him today, and tomorrow we'll eat my son." So we cooked my son and ate him. The next day I said to her, "Give up your son so we may eat him." But she had hidden him. I guess that abortion would have not been any problem there either.

Elisha answered."You will set fire to their fortified places, kill their young men with the sword, dash their little children to the ground, and rip open their pregnant women. That is not nice.

Elisha died and was buried. Now Moabite raiders used to enter the country every spring. Once while some Israelites were burying a man , suddenly they saw a band of raiders: so they threw the man's body into Elisha's tomb. When the body touched Elisha's bones , the man came to life and stood up on his feet. Now that must have been a surprise.

The Israelites secretly did things against the Lord their God that were not right. How can you keep a secret from a God? He sees and knows everything or not?

They did not trust in the Lord their God. Why was that?

Therefore the Lord rejected all the people of Israel: he afflicted them and gave them into the hands of plunderers. That is bad news.

So the people of Israel were taken from their homeland into exile in Assyria , and they are still there. I don't think that they are still there. But that is what it says in the Holy Bible so probably they are still there.

Nevertheless, each national group made its own gods in the several towns where they settled, and set them up in the shrines the people of Samaria had made at the high places. The men from Babylon made Succoth Benoth, the men from Cutha made Nergal, and the men from Hamath made Ashima. The Avites made Nibhaz and Tartak, and the Sepharvites burned their children in the fire as sacrifices to Adrammelech and Anammelech, the gods of Sepharvaim. They worshiped the Lord, but they also served their own gods. Who invents all these gods and stupid people who belief all that bull****. And I thought that only the Aztecs sacrificed humans to their god.

And to this day their children and grandchildren continue to do as their fathers did. I don't think so because I have never heard before the names of these gods. But it says so in the Holy Bible.

That night the angel of the Lord went out and put to death a hundred and eighty-five thousand men in the Assyrian camp. Wow that is a dangerous guy this angel of the Lord.

Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon marched against Jerusalem and they took everything from the temple of the Lord and broke down the walls around Jerusalem. End of the land of milk and honey.

End of part.

Opinion. A lot of bull**** with stories of kings that did not obey the laws of the Lord the God of Israel. And finally the Lord let his people down and they all have to go into exile in Assyria. End of the story.

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EZRA.

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The Israelites come back to Jerusalem from exile and start to rebuild the temple of the Lord. And they sang to the Lord. "He is good; his love to Israel endures forever.What a bunch of hypocrisy is this. After they kick them out of their country and the Lord did not help them now they are singing these things.

End of part.

Opinion:They are back.

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NEHEMIA.

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End of part.

Opinion: The have rebuilt Jerusalem and follow the rules of Moses. They are allowed only to marry to another Israelite. No more mixing with other races is allowed.They were only allowed to speak the language of Judah.

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ESTHER.

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The story of Job.

End of part.

Opinion: God and the devil come together and have a conversation about Job. They make a deal that the devil would not be able to make Job hate God. And he tried by killing his servants and his animals and give him deceases. Then the devil agreed with God that he was right about Job. What kind of bull**** is this. It is almost like a casino betting on something and then make people suffer to proof a point. Nice guy this God.

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For the Lord gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. From his mouth! I have never heard the Lord say anything.

Why be captivated , my son, by an adulteress? Why embrace the bosom of another man's wife. This is easy to say when you have seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines. Then why would you need another man's wife.?

Rich and poor have this in common. The Lord is the maker of them all. Now I know that the Lord does not like me because I am poor. Why did he choose Bill Gates over me.

Let another praise you, and not your own mouth. I like this.

He who is full, loathes honey, but to the hungry even what is bitter tastes sweet.Very good stuff. I experienced this myself.

As water reflects a face , so a man's heart reflects the man. More good stuff.

Evil men do not understand justice, but those who seek the Lord understand it fully. bull****. The worst people that I have met were the most religious ones.

He who gives to the poor will lack nothing, but he who closes his eyes to them receives many curses. bull****.

End of part.

Opinion: There is some good stuff and there is some bull****, but boring to read in general.

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ECCLESIASTES.

___________________

David says; everything is meaningless. Wisdom is meaningless, life is meaningless, pleasures are meaningless. Like the fool, the wise man too must die. I would add to it, that even life is meaningless.

I also thought, "As for men, God tests them so that they may see that they are like the animals. Man's fate is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both. As one dies, so dies the other. All have the same breath, man has no advantage over the animal. Everything is meaningless. All go to the same place. All come from dust, and to dust all return. Who knows if the spirit of man rises upward and if the spirit of the animal goes down into the earth? So I saw that there is nothing better for a man than to enjoy his work, because that is his lot. For who can bring him to see what will happen after him? This is the best thing I have ever heard in my life. In the bible I found that man are like animals and when we die who knows where we go. Finally I meet somebody who thinks like me.

If you see a poor oppressed in a district , and justice and rights denied, do not be surprised at such things; for one official is eyed by a higher one, and over them both are other higher still. The increase from the land is taken by all; the king himself profits from the field. This is still happening right now but in a different form.

The day of death is better than the day of birth. Yes it is the end of your suffering.

There is not a righteous man on earth,who does what is right and never sins.Hmmm

Enjoy life with your wife , whom you love , all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun. OK I will.

A feast is made for laughter, and wine makes life merry, but money is the answer for everything. This is no bull****.

Meaningless! Meaningless! Everything is meaningless. Yes it is.

End of part.

Opinion: I am speechless. This was some good stuff that I never expected to find in the Holy Bible.

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SONG OF SONGS.

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Lover:

Why would you gaze on the Shulammite as on the dance of Mahanaim?

How beautiful your sandaled feet, O prince's daughter!

Your graceful legs are like jewels, the work of a craftsman's hands.

Your navel is a rounded goblet that never laks blended wine.

Your waist is a mound of wheat encircled by lilies.

Your breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle.

Your neck is like an ivory tower.

Your eyes are the pools of Heshbon by the gate of Bath Rabbim.

Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon looking toward Damascus.

Your head crowns you like mount Carmel.

Your hair is like royal tapestry; the king is held captive by its tresses.

How beautiful you are and how pleasing, O love, with your delights!

Your stature is like that of the palm,and your breasts like clusters of fruit.

I said, "I will climb the palm tree; I will take hold of its fruit."

May your breasts be like the clusters of the vine, the fragrance of your breath like apples, and your mouth like the best wine.

End of part.

Opinion: These are all nice love songs, but what are they doing here in the Holy Bible? The word of God.

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ISAIAH.

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Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign. The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel. Have I not heard this before?

The wolf will live with the lamb, the leopard will lie down with the goat, the calf and the lion and the yearling together; and a little child will lead them. The cow will feed with the bear, their young will lie down together, and the lion will eat straw like the ox. The infant will play near the hole of the cobra. and the young child put his hand into the viper's nest. They will neither harm nor destroy on all my holy mountain, for the earth will be full of the knowledge of the Lord as the waters cover the sea. This is really bull****. Well we are still waiting for this moment that the lion will eat straw.

End of part.

Opinion:All bull****.

LAMENTATIONS.

___________________

End of part.

Opinion:That's what it is lamentations. Sorry for you guys.

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EZEKIEL.

___________

I looked and I saw a windstorm coming out of the north-an immense cloud with flashing lightning and surrounded by brilliant light. The center of the fire looked like glowing metal and in the fire was what looked like four living creatures. In appearance their form was that of a man but each of them had four faces and four wings. Their legs were straight; their feet were like those of a calf and gleamed like burnished bronze. etc etc...This guy must have been high on drugs when he saw this.

The Lord said "Very well, I will let you bake your bread over cow manure instead of human excrement."The Lord is such a nice guy to allow them to bake their bread on cow manure instead of human excrement because the taste is so much better.

The Lord said."I will do to you what I have never done before and will never do again. Therefore in your midst fathers will eat their children, and children will eat their fathers.It is always nice to have this option when you are hungry.

There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses .Damned why did the good Lord not provided me with such genitals?

God says to Ezekiel about the Israelites. "I will be their God , and they will be my people. Then the nation will know that I the Lord make Israel holy, when my sanctuary is among them forever. How about the other countries in the world?.

End of part.

Opinion. A lot of bull**** and repeating the same things over again with different words.

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DANIEL.

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King Nebuchadnezzar leaped to his feet in amazement and asked his advisers, "Weren't there three men that we tied up and threw into the fire?" They replied,"Certainly, O king." He said,"Look! I see four men walking around in the fire, unbound and unharmed, and the fourth looks like a son of the gods."Then they came out of the fire. Well at least they know how the son of a gods looks like. I guess that when you see one, you can tell right away.

They threw Daniel in the lions' den. At the first light of dawn, the king got up and hurried to the lions' den. When he came near the den, he called to Daniel in an anguished voice, "Daniel servant of the living God, has your God, whom you serve continually , been able to rescue you from the lions? Daniel answered. "O king, live forever! My God sent his angel, and he shut the mouths of the lions. They have not hurt me because I was found innocent in his sight. It is nice to have God on your site. This time it was not his son but an angel who came to help.

End of part.

Opinion: Nothing interesting. They talk a lot about the fight between the king of the North against the king of the South. Fighting like usual.

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HOSEA.

_________

End of part.

Opinion: bull****.

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JOEL.

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Then you will know that I am in Israel, that I am the Lord your God, and that there is no other; never again will my people be shamed. What about the other nations?

But the Lord will be a refuge for his people, a stronghold for the people of Israel. What about the other nations.

End of part.

Opinion: bull****.

NAHUM.

________________

The Lord is good, refuge in times of trouble. And if you don't belief this then I will tell you another joke. Just ask those millions of Jewish that died in the German concentration camps.

End of part.

Opinion: More bull****.

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HABAKKUK.

__________________

How long, O Lord, must I call for help, but you do not listen? Or cry out to you, "Violence!" but you do not save? Why do you make me look at injustice? Why do you tolerate wrong?. Contradiction to the above.

End of part.

Opinion:bull****.

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ZEPHANIAH.

_______________

"I will sweep away everything from the face of the earth," declares the Lord."I will sweep away both men and animals; I will sweep away the birds of the air and the fish of the sea. The wicked will have only heaps of rubble when I cut off man from the face of the earth. Oh no not again.

End of part.

Opinion: bull****.

ZECHARIAH.

_________________

This is what the Lord says:"I will return to Zion and dwell in Jerusalem. Then Jerusalem will be called the City of Truth. I think that it is not called like that anymore.

End of part.

Opinion: bull****.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MALACHI.

______________

"See I will send my messenger, who will prepare the way before me. Then suddenly the Lord you are seeking will come to his temple; the messenger of the covenant, whom you desire, will come." says the Lord almighty. When?

Remember the law of my servant Moses, de decrees and laws I gave him at Horeb for all Israel. Only Israel, why?

End of part.

Opinion: End of all bull****. End of the Old Testament.

1-CORINTHIANS.

__________________

One of you says, "I follow Paul";another"I follow Apollos"; another,"I follow Cephas; still another, "I follow Christ. Jesus just died and there is already division among his followers. That is how strong their belief is or how strong their confusion.

Where is the wise man? Where is the scholar?Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world. God likes fools, people that can not think.

But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slenderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such man do not even eat. What is this for bull****. Jesus told to love your enemy, your neighbor etc...Is their job not to teach those people the right way instead of avoiding them?

The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. Well if a part of your body makes you sin, cut it off. Probably all men will walk around with no dick.

It is good for a man not to marry. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. Well thank you.

A wife must not separate from her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. Oops how many people have sinned?

From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none. What kind of bull**** is this.

If a woman does not cover her head , she should have her hair cut off; and if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut or shaved off, she should cover her head. A man ought not to cover his head. I don't see many women with their head covered or their hair shaved off. They are all sinning.

Women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the law says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home. Well it seems that the church does not like women very much. It is good to be a man.

End of part.

Opinion: A lot of contradictions --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

EPHESIANS.

______________

Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. What bull**** is this about slaves, nobody is born to be a slave.

End of part.

Opinion: More bull****.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

COLOSSIANS.

_______________

Because we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all the saints. Who are the saints, where are they, where do they come from?

By making peace through his blood, shed on the cross. How did he make peace with his blood shed on the cross. I have not heard or seen any peace yet. Actually there has been more dead and violence after that moment. Just read to what happened to his Apostles and how peaceful it was.

I Paul have become its servant by the commission God gave me to present to you the word of God in its fullness. How can he proof that he got commission from God and how is this done?

He forgave us all our sins having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross. Where is that written code? I would like to see it. And was there no easier way to cancel the written code than through violence?

End of part.

Opinion: Paul has control over the business.

http://www.opinion101.com/WHY%20READ%20THE%20BIBLE.htm

Edited by Hotoke
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the depth of this guys thought astounds me. rolleyes.gif

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WOW !!! that is amazing read. Thanks !

This book must be the biggest lie in the universe =/

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Wow, and guess what, it was the FIRST BOOK EVER PUBLISHED.

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And the storyline you have there of Genesis is slightly off. You're missing parts of it, with those parts, maybe you'd find it less comical.

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This guys theorys are prettey cool. Especially the part about circumsicon and god selling children.

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Wow, and guess what, it was the FIRST BOOK EVER PUBLISHED.

438665[/snapback]

how can you know it was the first book ever whritten....

Published in quantity yes. When they first invented the press 100 years ago, it was the first book to be copied for all the see..

This is no surprise since at that time they where VERY religious. Since the majority of the people where not educate, it was obvious to them what would be the first way to educate everyone. THE BIBLE.....seriously Ashley....this does not prove your point at all

and if he is missing part and it makes it less comical, I would be very curious to see them. Post just a few so that we can all see.

Because now, it does not look to good.

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Wow, and guess what, it was the FIRST BOOK EVER PUBLISHED.

dear child, the OT was not written until after the return from the Exile, sometime after 600 BCE. There were many many books written and published before that, about 2500 years worth! Please study a little of the findings of the scholars of your own persuasion before you show how little you actually know!

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This guy is missing huge chunks out of the Bible. I mean, really. If you haven't read the book for yourself, don't judge it. If you have, don't judge it. Only God has the authority to judge. Which I forget....quite often, if you haven't noticed yet.

And let's not forget, a whole lot of the OT laws made by God were thrown out by Jesus, God's own son. Why did God make the laws in the first place? To see how loyal his people, the Israelites, were to Him. For example: "Hey! That guy gave that lion a bj! We need to kill him!" "Wait...God said killing is wrong, so we shouldn't do it, right?" "I guess you're right. He must ask the Lord for forgiveness and repent, instead of be put to death." God says: "Good job guys! You get a sticker." Just not in those....exact words. God works in mysterious ways.

P.S. What does BCE mean?

Edited by eveningsky339
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This guys theorys are prettey cool. Especially the part about circumsicon and god selling children.

438953[/snapback]

About that... this is one of the places where the author wasn't accurate - god didn't order that every male should be circumsiced, but only the children of Abraham (that is - the children of Isaac and Ishmael).

This is the only reason why Jews and Muslims circumsice - they believe themselves to be the children of Abraham (the Jews through Isaac and the Muslims through Ishmael... well, at least the Arab muslims believe themselves to be the children of Ishmael).

This is also the reason why Israelis refer to their Arab neighbors as "cousins" tongue.gif.

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Wow, and guess what, it was the FIRST BOOK EVER PUBLISHED.

438665[/snapback]

No.. it wasn't. The greeks alone had a huge wealth of books made and published long before the bible... Not onely that.. the Chinese and Japanese people were making books out of paper.. not papyrus... before the bible...

Edited by SilverCougar
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No.. it wasn't. The greeks alone had a huge wealth of books made and published long before the bible...

Errmmm... nope. The Greeks took their alphabet from the Phoenicians (Hebrew speaking people), so we had alphabet before them. And we probably had egyptian papyrus as well, cause the Phoenician alphabet was developed from the Egyptian hyrogliphs. Depends on your definition of "book" though. Does it has to be made of paper? or are series of clay sheets clumped together is also considered a book? and if it doesn't - is an "e-book" could be considered a book wink2.gif.

I think the first ones to publish books were the Sumerians, then Egyptians, then Chinese, then the rest of the world.

But in the main issue I completely agree with you - the bible was most certainly not the first book tongue.gif.

Not onely that.. the Chinese and Japanese people were making books out of paper.. not papyrus... before the bible...

Yes, they did have paper long before the west. The Japanese though have pretty recent written history - only last 1,500 years, when they have learned to read and write from the Chinese (who have 4,000 years of written history wacko.giftongue.gif).

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No it doens't have to be made of paper... And the greeks were putting things out before the bible was put out...

considering the entire bible wasn't put out till after AD started up.

(and I should have been clearer when I ment the entire bible ;P YOU CAUGHT ME THERE!)

Greeks is just an example... Dear gods.. going back further.... that list is huge ;P

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