90 replies to this topic

[ouija ouija]

Babe Ruth, on 05 October 2012 - 12:46 PM, said:

Depending upon one's lifestyle, one possible way to avoid anxiety is to avoid watching mainstream media TV, especially Faux News.  It causes my 93 year old mother significant anxiety, as she spends half her day watching it.  

I haven't got a television and I very rarely listen to the radio. I also don't read any newspapers. I get news online which means I can pick and choose which stories I read. I feel as if I should keep up with what is happening in the world to some extent though.

[ouija ouija]

Bling, on 05 October 2012 - 11:54 AM, said:

Erm.... Ouija Ouija is not a tool

I must admit I felt affronted when I first read that ........ 'tool' is definitely a derogatory expression in theses parts. But then I thought he/she meant I was a 'tool of the media', now I think something else is meant.

[ouija ouija]

redhen, on 05 October 2012 - 11:49 AM, said:

Do you know what sutra or shastra that is from? I have never heard it before. It sounds like a revsion of the bodhisattva ideal where one pospones ones own enlightment until all other beings are enlightened That's different than denying yourself happiness.

The bodhisatta expression "may all sentient beings be free from suffering" does not deny your own happiness.



That "basically good idea" is called Vipassana or mindfulness meditation. It's the underlying foundation for Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR).

Anyways, cultural changes take a long time. Slavery was only abolished (in most countries) in the 19th century. Ditto for child labor laws and womans emanicipation. Animal welfare laws are also recent and will take time to spread.

I'm sorry, I can't remember where I read that saying ........ it was  many years ago. It has occurred to me that when the Buddha(?) first (supposedly) said it, people would be living in very small static groups, so to make sure that 'everyone else' was happy would actually be a manageable task ........ you might only have to consider 20 or 30 people. You would hardly be aware of what was going on in the next village, never mind on the other side of the world!  

Do you know what the point would be of 'postponing one's own enlightenment until all other beings are enlightened'? Would it be to remain on earth and help others towards enlightenment?

Thank you for the external link to Vipasanna. I found it very interesting and will go back to it because I feel there is something in it that will help.

And you're right, change does take a long time ...... often not even decades, but centuries. It just seemed to me recently that humanity in general was going backwards. I was feeling that at my age(60), I should be able to see some improvements from when I was a child, but they seemed to be far outweighed by regressions.

[ouija ouija]

markdohle, on 05 October 2012 - 12:12 PM, said:

.....why things are the way they are, don' know
Peace
mark

This is something I need to remind myself of on a daily basis. I admit I have a strong desire to 'get a handle' on everything ...... to have some all-encompassing idea of 'what is going on'. Not having this is a source of anxiety for me, and yet I know that it's not something my tiny brain is ever going to achieve !

[libstaK]

Give yourself some balance.  It is not good to dwell on issues that you literally cannot do anything about - you can't change anyone out there.  You can change the way you feel though - get into some comedy shows - check out the fun and cute animal skits on you-tube.

When you feel positive, you also feel more confident in having an answer to those issues you CAN do something about, in your immediate sphere of influence, family, friends, community.  Laughter brings good energy and provides impetus to act (or act up a little lol) a little levity is important.

[ouija ouija]

Idano, on 05 October 2012 - 12:44 PM, said:

http://www.zefrank.com/chillout/

Check this song out Quji, make sure you go all the way down to the final song at the bottom of the page.  It always makes me bring thing in perspective...

Funny little song! Very simple, but very effective ....... thanks

[lizzieboo]

Ouija sweetheart, I wish I could just reach through these silly machines we use to connect from afar and give you a huge hug.

Like you, I also feel anguish and pain about suffering beings I cannot help. What I realized is that there are certain situations about which I can do nothing, but which I know will break my heart...so I walk away from them. It's hard, but I realized a few years ago that I was put on this earth to love my fellow creatures. I try to make my own small corner of our vast universe a better place to help relieve the pain I feel over the sufferings I cannot ease. I take good care of my dogs and cats and help friends when they need someone to "babysit" their animal companions. I donate to the local shelter whenever I'm able. I shop at thrift shops that benefit victims of domestic violence and disabled people, and donate to the local food bank (and to the same thrift shops at which I shop). I even tend to my houseplants with love. If it's a living being, it deserves love.

The problem with people like us is that we want to help everyone; our anguish comes from the knowledge that we simply cannot. We don't want to turn away even when we are helpless to ease the suffering we're witnessing because we feel that turning away is a form of betrayal...as though we, too, are abandoning the suffering being to his or her fate. That, I think, is the root of our anguish: that feeling of helplessness. The only way I have found to overcome the anguish is by forcing myself not to witness things I cannot change. For example, I can't watch television commercials for animal welfare organizations because I will be overcome with pain and guilt that I cannot help the animals I see on the screen. I have to repeat to myself: "You cannot save them all; you can only save a few. Do what good you are able." Just keep reminding yourself of the good that you can do.

We might put only the tiniest of dents in the suffering that so fills our sad old world, but even the tiniest dent is still an improvement.

"How far that little candle throws his beams. So shines a good deed in a weary world." (Merchant of Venice; Shakespeare)

You are a candle, my dear; your very being is a light in the darkness. Hold that thought to your heart. And if you find yourself forgetting, send me a PM. I'll remind you.

[ouija ouija]

Chasingtherabbit, on 05 October 2012 - 12:43 PM, said:

Oh how cute, you are white knighting but it doesn't change my view. Anyone who feels bad over news is a tool, especially if they are not going to do anything about it, it is called fetishizing someone else's misery. If one also lives in the West where the standard of living is high and they are, for example, going to feel down over something in the Third World, then they are not being realistic because they have a chance, unlike others, to live a wonderful life, which is real, but to deny that reality and focus on another's misery only cheapens the actual suffering occuring to another. I bet their problems are no where as near as those being dreaded over.

tl;dr versionL white people problems

My anguish is caused not so much by awareness of poverty, (I'm actually mainly distressed about the plight of animals rather than people. Although not exclusively), but by cruelty and torture.

Sorry, I wanted to say more but I can't get my thoughts straight at the moment. I wanted to say something about Karma and Divine retribution ...... neither of which I believe in ..... I think if you do believe in either or both then it makes life much easier for you: you can shrug your shoulders, turn your back and say to yourself "It's okay, they'll get their come-uppance in the end!". I don't have that 'safety net'.

Chasingtherabbit, on 05 October 2012 - 12:45 PM, said:

Great thinking! Many are selfish and want to see us wiped, or at least our technology, but few pause as you have to also realize it would cause more problems, imagine all those hooked up to life machines as a starter? Babies....

This is why I think those who want to erase everyone to get rid of every problem are just selfish.

When people imagine a world-catastrophe scenario, I think it is often just a way to distract themselves from awful things that are happening that they can't do anything about. It puts reality to one side for a while and allows the fantasist to be in control and 'put things right'.

Edited by ouija ouija, 05 October 2012 - 03:41 PM.

[Ninhursag]

ouija ouija, on 03 October 2012 - 05:39 PM, said:

Recently there have been several topics in UM that have particularly troubled me. They were about animal misuse and abuse. They immediately made me feel really down and they played on my mind. I am 60, and this abuse of animals(and humans too), seems neverending ..... it seems to have been around forever. The sheer number of miserable, pain-filled lives around the world, overwhelms me. It seems that even when some horror lessens or even stops altogether, a new one appears somewhere else. Sometimes it feels as if there will never be an end to the new horrors and tortures that humans can think up and then inflict upon the weak. It makes me feel as if I don't belong here and that the only time I will have relief is when I am dead.

So what I am asking for help with is this: how do I learn to cope, on a daily basis, with this excruciating anguish that, on occasion, makes me feel almost suicidal?

Oh my .. I know how this feels ..

I can't even bear to hear people talking that they saw a dead animal on the road .. I think about it all day long .. It's horrible ..
If I happen to see one myself (like I did yesterday, I saw a squirrel - which is one of my fave animals in the world) I go crazy .. I keep thinking of it all day long and I feel so bad and uneasy ..

The funny thing is, that when I do see a dead animal, a name pops out instantaneously in my head. And I name that animal that way. I know this sounds crazy and weird and most of my friends think I'm a lunatic for doing that. But I can't help it, I've done it since I can remember.

I was driving the other day when I saw the squirrel .. And the name Mihaela popped in my head just like that. I have no idea why I do that and where do the names come from, but somehow I feel it makes me cope better with those kinds of things.

My family has always been so good with animals. It's a fact my dad loves our 3 cats more than he does me. He always buys food for stray cats and dogs, seagulls even. He says people are able to provide food for themselves but animals can't, especially in the city.

My parents have always been telling me I should toughen up. But I can't .. I just can't bear to look or hear about any kind of animal cruelty. I instantly fall inot depression. I hope I will never hit an animal on the road because I think I would never ever be able to forgive myself.

So thanks for posting this topic, as you are not alone in this

[Bling]

ouija ouija, on 05 October 2012 - 02:02 PM, said:

I must admit I felt affronted when I first read that ........ 'tool' is definitely a derogatory expression in theses parts. But then I thought he/she meant I was a 'tool of the media', now I think something else is meant.

Well at least I'm a cute white knight now!

[Professor T]

ouija ouija, on 05 October 2012 - 02:35 PM, said:

Thank you for the external link to Vipasanna. I found it very interesting and will go back to it because I feel there is something in it that will help.

This is a form of interospection, looking within, self analysis...
It can be good for finding the root of this angush, but a quiet room & 30 minutes of just deep reflection on your self and this anquish I think would be more effective in overcomming the anguish and letting it go. Think of the anguish as your little monster.. and know in your heart that you made it and you are it's master and have it in your power to shrink it and make it go away..

Funnily enough, when I went through something similar, I found the camomile tea helped as well..

[lizzieboo]

Having noticed Professor T's comment about chamomile tea, I had another thought: aromatherapy. The trick to aromatherapy, however, is not to go completely "by the book" when it comes to choosing which scents calm you. For example, lavender is usually listed as a refreshing scent, but I find it very soothing and calming. It cheers me without making me nervous or hyper at all, whereas I think of minty scents as refreshing in that they are energizing rather than calming.

Just experiment. If you can find a shop that sells essential oils (sometimes health food stores have them), try out some scents and examine how you react to each one. You'll eventually come up with a list of fragrances that you can use for different purposes.

Hugs to you!

[redhen]

ouija ouija, on 05 October 2012 - 02:35 PM, said:

I'm sorry, I can't remember where I read that saying ........ it was  many years ago. It has occurred to me that when the Buddha(?) first (supposedly) said it, people would be living in very small static groups, so to make sure that 'everyone else' was happy would actually be a manageable task ........ you might only have to consider 20 or 30 people. You would hardly be aware of what was going on in the next village, never mind on the other side of the world!  

Living in megacities is new for humans. Our "normal" population would be around 150 people according to the zoologist Desmond Morris (The Naked Ape, The Human Zoo).

Quote

[Do you know what the point would be of 'postponing one's own enlightenment until all other beings are enlightened'? Would it be to remain on earth and help others towards enlightenment?

Yes, that's what some schools of Buddism teach.

Quote

And you're right, change does take a long time ...... often not even decades, but centuries. It just seemed to me recently that humanity in general was going backwards. I was feeling that at my age(60), I should be able to see some improvements from when I was a child, but they seemed to be far outweighed by regressions.

Until there is a radical legal and cultural shift, animal cruelty laws will not be taken seriously. Until non-human animals are no longer "property" change will not be swift. The most egregious acts like bull fighting have been banned in some parts of Spain, so there's hope.  There's even a new movement  in China amogst the youth for animal welfare.

[ouija ouija]

lizzieboo, on 05 October 2012 - 08:25 PM, said:

Having noticed Professor T's comment about chamomile tea, I had another thought: aromatherapy. The trick to aromatherapy, however, is not to go completely "by the book" when it comes to choosing which scents calm you. For example, lavender is usually listed as a refreshing scent, but I find it very soothing and calming. It cheers me without making me nervous or hyper at all, whereas I think of minty scents as refreshing in that they are energizing rather than calming.

Just experiment. If you can find a shop that sells essential oils (sometimes health food stores have them), try out some scents and examine how you react to each one. You'll eventually come up with a list of fragrances that you can use for different purposes.

Hugs to you!

There's just one problem with this: I have no sense of smell at all! However, I do have a few essential oils and I use them in the hope that even though I can't enjoy their perfume, maybe something from them effects my mood. When I could still smell a little bit I used to like sandalwood. I think it is warm and serene.

Also, crystals can help.

[ouija ouija]

redhen, on 05 October 2012 - 10:12 PM, said:

Until there is a radical legal and cultural shift, animal cruelty laws will not be taken seriously. Until non-human animals are no longer "property" change will not be swift. The most egregious acts like bull fighting have been banned in some parts of Spain, so there's hope.  There's even a new movement  in China amogst the youth for animal welfare.

The situation in Spain made me feel hopeful of an end to bull-fighting in my lifetime ........ then France made it legal and China is starting. This sort of news makes me despair.