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..... strange when you lose someone.. and not to death.

Posted by willowdreams , in Personal blog 23 June 2012 · 619 views

I feel sort of sad today, well.. is it sad? Not sure exactly how to describe the feelings, but I think sadness comes closest.

I have friends here in rl, athiest, agnostic.. religious.. I really do not care what their faith or non faith is, and I never hide the fact that I am agnostic with strong leanings towards atheism. I just figured this is our only home.. earth.. and we are the people of earth and regardless of skin color, religion or non religion.. culture.. locartion, we should be 'friends', because in a sense we are all related and what happens to earth and the people on earth effects ALL of us as a whole, even if we do not see that until further down the line way into the future with the next generation.

I do draw lines though.

I meet more and more pple online, so many different cultures, and faiths.. and I enjoy my online company with them and ooooooooooooh how I wish we could all have a meeting together someplace and have like a week or two week long camping trip and just get to see one another face to face and be able to say to our grandkids.. neighbors.. friends..  that for  while, we all just plain got along and enjoyed each others company, we discussed differences, even debated.. but no one felt pressured or preached at, and everyone was welcome and smiles and laughter was ever ready for all and the different styles of outdoor cooking was there for all to enjoy.

THAT is what a good world should be and though it may only here here and there in small areas, that is what makes the future, those little pockets of 'friendliness' that spread one at a time.. that is like a gentle stream of water, slow.. steady.. wearing down the might rock that refuses to budge and change with time.

But again, I do draw lines.

On facebook, I really enjoyed the texturial friendship with another, he was a born again Christian which meant I had to tolerate a bit of holy roler style preaching out there, because usually with Born Again Christians, that is how it goes, till the settle in and calm down and become more steady on their faith and not so OUT there screaming to all about how they found god.

We would even debate, though I found I had to be gentle with him as he did not seem as independently strong in his faith, and I am telling you now.. thouhg I am not Christian and I have no problems with explaining my side and debating, and if in doing so a christian decides to become agnostic.. or explore more deeply other areas.. I have no problem with it, but when a person is so weak that I find they are eating, sleeping, breathing their faith because if they do not, they find themselves slipping into some kind of sad areas on their life.. I wont debate forcefully,  I treat them with kid gloves.. it is like.. I dunno, their faith is more of a medication that is keeping them surviving.

Does that make sense?

But after a while I have to say no more, I hve noticed over the past several weeks I have stopped chatting with him.. and more or less I am only chatting with religion.

He no longer talks of normal things, or if he does it is so rare that it seems he never does. He will post something like 'here is a word, not sure of the spelling, coudl someone tell me what it means?', I remember he did htis with two words, and I looked them up, found the nearest things I could for the spelling and meanings, gave it to him.. then asked..

could you use these in a sentense so I sort of have a better idea what you mean? (he is in scotland, so sometimes when he says words.. it could be a slang neither or us is overly familiar with since he also talks with others in different parts of the world), he then replies.. no he cannot, because he thinks god put these words in his mind to reach out to another lost soul..

So even heling him with slangs and words and such.. I wasnt helping HIM..

I know many religious people, but rarely do they lose themselves in their faith to such a degree that there is nothing else about them.

No different music.. no discussion of good movies or books.. no discussion on 'i feel ill today.. going ot see a doctor..' and us trying to help him through it.. nothing normal every days. He stopped doing that weeks ago..

So yes, I feel sad.. and unfriended him.. but before I did I told him that he could msg me any time he wishes.. but to talk of normal every day things, weather.. books.. tv.. movies.. music.. ANYTHING that was about him and what he is doing.. I told him tht I understand he is deeply religoius and I would never ask him to change his postings for me.. hense my unfriending him.. as I should never influence another to change their style of postings..

But that I was more interesting in getting to know him as a person since I already know him as a religious person. I know his religion, i know all his church groups, all his ouside the church religous activities.. all his praching. .but I no longer know HIM.. if you know what I mean.

He never mentions family or friends.. never mentions a walk in the park.. or a good cuppa tea.. never mentions a good silly song he enjoys.. or a stupid sitcom on tv..

all that stopped weeks ago.. so I had to say goodbye

and so sadness is the only thing I can think of now.

Or perhaps I feel a loss? I knwo many religious people, this is the first time I had to unfriend one due to losing him to religion.

I hope I made sense here, if I did not? I am sorry.




I understand, he is very young in his faith and seeking some inner balance, or like you said, he is fragile and perhaps has been isolated all his life, so his faith gives him an identify.  He will grow, then his faith will penetrate his life and he will be able to talk about 'normal' things.

We can only interupt reality by our belief system, so our language will reflect that, so I want to say something.  If there is a God (I believe there is), you have that love in you heart, and as far as I can see you will only get better as you age, like a fine wine....It is an honor to know you.

You probably helped him actually, forced him to look back on himself and perhaps to see what he is doing.  Words are important, they are seeds and they take root and grow and change us.  I think if what you said was taken as a seed, it may very well help him.

Faith and life can't be seperate, just like any other philosiphical or religious or spritual path.  Intergration is important, and I believe it is doubt and our fragility that actually bring us together.  I don't have all the answers, not sure we are supposed to.....we are searchers.

Yes it would be wonderful if we could all get together LOL.....

Peace
mark
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willowdreams
Jun 23 2012 05:08 PM

markdohle, on 23 June 2012 - 12:27 PM, said:

I understand, he is very young in his faith and seeking some inner balance, or like you said, he is fragile and perhaps has been isolated all his life, so his faith gives him an identify.  He will grow, then his faith will penetrate his life and he will be able to talk about 'normal' things.

We can only interupt reality by our belief system, so our language will reflect that, so I want to say something.  If there is a God (I believe there is), you have that love in you heart, and as far as I can see you will only get better as you age, like a fine wine....It is an honor to know you.

You probably helped him actually, forced him to look back on himself and perhaps to see what he is doing.  Words are important, they are seeds and they take root and grow and change us.  I think if what you said was taken as a seed, it may very well help him.

Faith and life can't be seperate, just like any other philosiphical or religious or spritual path.  Intergration is important, and I believe it is doubt and our fragility that actually bring us together.  I don't have all the answers, not sure we are supposed to.....we are searchers.

Yes it would be wonderful if we could all get together LOL.....

Peace
mark

You know hon, part of my faith is people is because no matter what, through my horrid abusive childhood, there was always one person there who would do something to make even one moment good.  as a child I had only one real dream, it had nothing to do with 'what job do you want', it had nothing to do with lavish homes, money.. things.

I had one single need. I desperately wanted to grow up and have at the least two children, but if i could have 6 or 8 or 10 *hey, I was a kid.. didn t know what childbearing really meant :P * or even more then a dozen, this way I could teach MY brand of love and home in a home and teach each child to spread it on.

That dream came true, to a point, only two kids *grins*.. reality is reality! two was all i could have!

but I had good people help me, I learned to see it in different people, even different faiths! And yes, non faiths.

I also have a belief that people of different cultures and faiths and non faiths can get together and work together for something other then dislike or even hate.. distrust or outright fear of one another.

About 20ish yrs ago I began chatting online to pple.. i met people online from all over, and one yr about 10ish yrs ago a group of us said 'lets meet, lets go camping', and we did, only maybe about 8 of us, but we all were different, differnt belief systems.

it was only a weekend, for one simple campout, strangers really.. having to trust one another in eahc person getting things ready.. picking out the place.. getting the place.. showing up.. cooking.. et et..

AND another itme it ws a get together that went so well it actually lasted nearly 6 weeks! it was only a handful of people, again like only 8.. but this time it moved to my territory.. and strangely enough (because I am very very very very very selective when it comes to letting pple in my home), it came to my home, 4ish pple.. one of them from another country! while the rest went tto their homes.

we got along, made nice, worked together... became friends that is lasting.. my daughter found her fiance.. sadly of course this means in the future i may lose her to another country! but

i have faith in people, because even through the nightmares.. at least a hand was there.. or a smile..

even through bitter distrusting times.. people pulled through, they were not always of my beliefs, my culture, but they were there in some form, even if only in words.. and you are right... words are a powerful thing, it is our way of communicating, words bring love.. laughter.. tears..

bitterness.. fear.. war


if there ever is such a thing as pure magic.. then i would say that the magic is 'words', verbally said.. sign language.. texted..  it does not matter the style or form

words are pure pure unadulterated magic.

as long as you and i and others understand the importance of words... perhaps the world may seem bad, and filled with nightmares, but with the power of words, and the suggestion of a smile

different cultures and beliefs wont always pull people apart.

as long as there are a handful that can work together for the smallest need, then that handful will grow, even if we do not see the end result in our timeline.. it will still come to fruition on down the road!
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If there are more people like you, yes ;=)

peace
mark
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