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Can atheists and religious lovers be happy?


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#16    libstaK

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Posted 08 October 2012 - 09:43 AM

It depends on so many things.  My eldest niece has recently married a muslim.  I would classify her as "spiritual angling toward agnostic" with catholic leanings, way left of myself I guess.  Prior to the nuptials there was pressure from the future mother in law to convert and my niece actually considered going through the process for the sake of peace and so that an Iman could complete the ceremony.  It was her husband that finally put an end to those plans by stating that as he is hardly a devoted practicing muslim himself it is ridiculous that she should have to conform to something he couldn't care less if she believed or not - so they married with a legal registrar on a tropical island under great protest from all those who thought they were shirking tradition on both sides of the fence - good for them, it was a truly beautiful wedding.

It didn't end there though, pressure kept coming as to how the kids would be raised.  Very proud of my new nephew, he made it perfectly clear to all and sundry that that would be a matter for himself and his wife to decide and they will let us (mostly the mother on his side) know what they have decided is right for THEIR children when the time arrives :w00t: .

Edited by libstaK, 08 October 2012 - 09:43 AM.

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#17    Beckys_Mom

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Posted 08 October 2012 - 09:47 AM

View PostlibstaK, on 08 October 2012 - 09:43 AM, said:

It depends on so many things.  My eldest niece has recently married a muslim.  I would classify her as "spiritual angling toward agnostic" with catholic leanings, way left of myself I guess.  Prior to the nuptials there was pressure from the future mother in law to convert and my niece actually considered going through the process for the sake of peace and so that an Iman could complete the ceremony.  It was her husband that finally put an end to those plans by stating that as he is hardly a devoted practicing muslim himself it is ridiculous that she should have to conform to something he couldn't care less if she believed or not - so they married with a legal registrar on a tropical island under great protest from all those who thought they were shirking tradition on both sides of the fence - good for them, it was a truly beautiful wedding.

It didn't end there though, pressure kept coming as to how the kids would be raised.  Very proud of my new nephew, he made it perfectly clear to all and sundry that that would be a matter for himself and his wife to decide and they will let us (mostly the mother on his side) know what they have decided is right for THEIR children when the time arrives :w00t: .

For some reason I enjoyed reading that.. It reaked of  freedom and we will do as we please, nuts to those who protest... Good for them..I like people who love their freedom and care not what others think..

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#18    Ever Learning

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Posted 08 October 2012 - 10:44 AM

Could probably go out with an agnostic but not an atheist, atheists are rude with out noticing there impolite (nothing to do with there beliefs).
i could probably go out with a pagan as they seem like nature lovers and are sensitive in general, love some pagans more than some Christians.
Probably couldnt go out with morman or muslims as there religion in there eyes is a continuation of mine.
p.s i do know some atheists who i could go out with just not militant ones.

Edited by Ever Learning, 08 October 2012 - 10:49 AM.

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#19    meryt-tetisheri

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Posted 08 October 2012 - 11:15 AM

I think it depends on the degree of a couple's maturity and mutual respect, and also on the amount of 'space' they allow each other to have. Attempts to convert will usually not stop at questions of faith because they are in essence attempts to dominate. Unless each partner can fully accept the other, ideosyncracies warts and all, without feeling threatened or  having the impulse to 'correct' the other, the relationship is doomed anyway. If it's not faith it will be politics or even diet!

edit: typos

Edited by meryt-tetisheri, 08 October 2012 - 11:16 AM.


#20    CommunitarianKevin

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Posted 08 October 2012 - 01:21 PM

Yes. It is about respecting eachothers beliefs. I do not believe in God, my wife is a Christian (though she kind of considers herself more of a deist or theist now.) She goes to chuch without. If I do have to go I just act respectfully and do not partake in communion. We plan to raise the kids Christian. My older son is baptized, and it is in the plans for the younger one in the next couple of months. We have a perfectly happy family.

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#21    Bling

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Posted 08 October 2012 - 06:15 PM

View PostEver Learning, on 08 October 2012 - 10:44 AM, said:

atheists are rude with out noticing there impolite (nothing to do with there beliefs).

Eh? They are rude based on what then, if it's not their beliefs? How many atheists have you met that you're basing this opinion on?


#22    Bling

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Posted 08 October 2012 - 06:23 PM

Luckily for me my fiance is also an atheist, and has never been involved in religion. I have dated christians while I was an atheist and I've been a christian who got involved with a non believer - he converted to my church....but it was a big mistake. I would never be involved in a romantic relationship with a believer - whatever faith, because I feel the fundamental core attitude to life is way too different. I want a harmonious relationship, not one where there's always an elephant in the room. Christians can nice people to have relationships with and so can atheists, but in my experience having polar opposite beliefs (which is what an atheist and believer has) it's no basis for a long lasting relationship.


#23    Star of the Sea

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Posted 08 October 2012 - 06:25 PM

My husband is Agnostic, now leaning towards being a believer even though he was an Atheist when we first married. I am, as you probably already know Roman Catholic. It's never been a problem between us and love blossomed despite of our differences. Our children have been brought up RC and my husband has supported this all through our kids childhood. I don't preach to him or the kids which would be unfair of me, so I have respected his views too. I rarely talk about religion but he knows that I am faithful to God and he respects that about me. So, yes love can thrive, if you show respect to one another.

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#24    Bling

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Posted 08 October 2012 - 06:37 PM

View PostStar of the Sea, on 08 October 2012 - 06:25 PM, said:

My husband is Agnostic, now leaning towards being a believer even though he was an Atheist when we first married. I am, as you probably already know Roman Catholic. It's never been a problem between us and love blossomed despite of our differences. Our children have been brought up RC and my husband has supported this all through our kids childhood. I don't preach to him or the kids which would be unfair of me, so I have respected his views too. I rarely talk about religion but he knows that I am faithful to God and he respects that about me. So, yes love can thrive, if you show respect to one another.

That's lovely to hear. How long has it taken him to 'lean towards being a believer'? Do you think he's changed his beliefs because he's with you? :)


#25    JGirl

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Posted 08 October 2012 - 07:01 PM

View PostBling, on 08 October 2012 - 05:16 AM, said:

The question I'd like to ask is 'Can Atheists and religious followers have a happy relationship together?' Do their virtually opposite views cause too much of a gap between them for they to ever have a deep and meaningful relationship? When I say 'relationship', I'm talking about love and marriage not just friendship. If you fell in love with someone of another faith/no faith - would you convert in order to maintain your relationship?

Please read this article for more ideas, but this discussion is not just about christians:

http://opinionatedat...te-a-christian/
as long as the relationship isn't based predominantly on their faith or lack of. there are a lot of couples who don't share the same belief system whether that be differing religions or as in this case, one who believes in god and one who does not.
i don't think god has anything to do with marriage or coupleship.

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#26    Star of the Sea

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Posted 08 October 2012 - 07:22 PM

View PostBling, on 08 October 2012 - 06:37 PM, said:



That's lovely to hear. How long has it taken him to 'lean towards being a believer'? Do you think he's changed his beliefs because he's with you? :)

I think it's a combination of things Bling. He sees how I have brought the girls up as a mum and how my faith has been entwined in the process. He has been to Mass with me and has got quite emotional during it. When he does rarely come to Church with me, he always has said that there is something about the Mass that really touches him. He also loves my circle of family, my Mum and Dad and brothers who are RC and has always said there is something 'different' about them. Interestingly both his brothers married RC girls as well and they all met at a Catholic social club which was around the corner from where he use to live. He loved the 'vibe' he felt from the Catholic community even though he was Atheist at the time.

He had a 'heart attack' just over 2 years ago and that affected him profoundly and he told me that he did actually pray to Jesus as the Doctors didn't expect him to survive. So slowly over 27 years and more recently he has mentioned that he does believe that there is a God and now gets a bit offended if anyone disrespects Jesus. I don't think he will ever convert to RC but that is his decision and I would never, ever pressurise him to do so.

Edited by Star of the Sea, 08 October 2012 - 07:31 PM.

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#27    Bling

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Posted 08 October 2012 - 07:31 PM

View PostStar of the Sea, on 08 October 2012 - 07:22 PM, said:

I think it's a combination of things Bling. He sees how I have brought the girls up as a mum and how my faith has been entwined in the process. He has been to Mass with me and has got quite emotional during it. When he does rarely come to Church with me, he always has said that there is something about the Mass that really touches him. He also loves my circle of family, my Mum and Dad and brothers who are RC and has always said there was something 'different' about them. Interestingly both his brothers married RC girls as well and they all met at a Catholic social club which was around the corner from where he use to live. He loved the 'vibe' he felt from the Catholic community even though he was Atheist at the time.

He had a 'heart attack' just over 2 years ago and that affected him profoundly and he told me that he did actually pray to Jesus as the Doctors didn't expect him to survive. So slowly over 27 years and more recently he has mentioned that he does believe that there is a God and now gets a bit offended if anyone disrespects God. I don't think he will ever convert to RC but that is his decision and I would never, ever pressurise him to do so.

Even though I'm an atheist, i love hearing stories of people who truly love their faith and can be happy with it, if it works for them then fair play. Regarding your husband, I've known alot of people turn to religion when they suffer a health scare or are questioning their place in the world and it's good he got comfort from it - I know I did for a while.





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