Irish Posted May 26, 2005 #1 Share Posted May 26, 2005 Just for a wee bit of fun here! As the newly ordained. The Right Reverend Irish, spiritual guide to the Steel Circle I will answer all your questions, with tongue firmly in cheek. My first question received was a PM Dear Reverend How many skeptics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Thanks, Becky Dear Becky None, they all live in eternal darkness. The Reverend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
__Kratos__ Posted May 26, 2005 #2 Share Posted May 26, 2005 Dear Reverend Irish: What is the Steel Circle? Signed, Kevin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrmonsoon Posted May 26, 2005 #3 Share Posted May 26, 2005 What makes you closer to the steel circle than the rest of us? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH2097 Posted May 26, 2005 #4 Share Posted May 26, 2005 Dear Reverend, Why is the sky blue? Sincerely RH2097 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irish Posted May 26, 2005 Author #5 Share Posted May 26, 2005 Dear Reverend Irish: What is the Steel Circle? Signed, Kevin 642648[/snapback] Dear Kevin The Steel Circle was created by the notorius Falco Rex. He had a vision one day that he could prove there is inteligent conversation free of hostility and vile words in the land of UM. A place were believers, sceptics, penquins and unicorns roam the boards of the unexplained. The Rev What makes you closer to the steel circle than the rest of us? 642654[/snapback] I shared a bottle of the best whiskey with Falco Dear Reverend, Why is the sky blue? Sincerely RH2097 642669[/snapback] Because God ran out of the green stuff working on Ireland. The Rev Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BurnSide Posted May 26, 2005 #6 Share Posted May 26, 2005 Irish rather than posting several times in a row, go back and re-edit your last post to include whatever else you need to say. And you can quote more than one person at once. I've merged your posts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Falco Rex Posted May 27, 2005 #7 Share Posted May 27, 2005 Dear Reverend, Why is it that whenever I share a bottle of whiskey or two with you I wake up in an alley with my wallet missing? Signed, Falco Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irish Posted May 27, 2005 Author #8 Share Posted May 27, 2005 Dear Reverend, Why is it that whenever I share a bottle of whiskey or two with you I wake up in an alley with my wallet missing? Signed, Falco 642920[/snapback] Dear Falco Rex Strange indeed! Have you ever noticed odd markings on the back of your head or found yourself walking like a penguin the next morning. I believe the missing time period would suggest and alien abduction. I know this is a bit of a stretch but I remember as a young choir boy awakening in a field next to the Bishop the first thing he said was holy sh**t did you see those buggers. We kept it as a secret so as not to panic the congregation. I was tinking anytime you see those little grey lads they never carry their own wallets and it must be very expensive to travel the galaxy these days. I would suggest a long hot shower and carefully remove any implants you received. By the way what you up to Sat. night? All the Best the Rev Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MichaelS Posted May 27, 2005 #9 Share Posted May 27, 2005 Dear Rev Irish, I have a friend that says Guinness is nothing more than beer that was made incorrectly... and that it sucks. As both an Irishman, and a Scotsman, I find this to be sacreligious- and down right rude to boot. How should I deal with the miscreant? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irish Posted May 27, 2005 Author #10 Share Posted May 27, 2005 Dear Stewey 1972 Your friend appears to be suffering from a serious delusion possibly brought on by demon possession. Take him out back of the Guinness brewery in Dublin and show him that 10,000 rats can not be wrong. If that does not work maybe a Saturday night out on the town with the Bishop, Falco and myself will convince him otherwise. There still is time to convert him and repair his poor damaged taste buds. Good luck! The Rev Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coldethyl Posted May 28, 2005 #11 Share Posted May 28, 2005 dear reverend, i think harp lager tastes better than guinness stout. is there something wrong with me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Falco Rex Posted May 29, 2005 #12 Share Posted May 29, 2005 Dear Reverend, After reading your earlier advice I decided to hire a professional videographer to follow you, me, and the Bishop the next time we went bar-hopping.. After waking up the next morning I was shocked and appalled by what I saw..The chicken-fight; the party at Snoop Doggs' house where the Bishop shed his clothes and stood at the end of the hall pretending to be door, and the gang warfare with the Russian Mafia.. And that's not even getting into the trip to Tijuana... So my question is this.. Given the fact that my wallet was again lifted; this time by that hook-nosed midget with the hunch-back from Prague( Don't deny it! I have it on video!);how much money could I make if I blackmailed the Bishop about that sequined green dress he wore while we were fleeing from the Border Guards? Signed, Falco Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irish Posted May 30, 2005 Author #13 Share Posted May 30, 2005 dear reverend, i think harp lager tastes better than guinness stout. is there something wrong with me? 645074[/snapback] Dear coldethyl There are several reasons why this can occur in the human species. Don’t worry to much, many live a normal life in spite of these deficiencies. The first that comes to mind is that you have been raised by a pack of Liberals. Liberals tend to like their beer the same as their politics, watered down. Also, some are born with fewer taste buds than others. Much like Marmite on toast it requires a certain degree of sophistication. I would suggest the following experiment. Take a 6 pack of Harp and a 6 pack of Guinness and return to this website. Now drink the entire 6 pack of Harp while staring at my avatar when you have finished the Harp start on the 6 pack of Guinness. After the first 3 Guinness you will slowly start to notice a change in Father Jack as he magically turns into Mel Gibson. Case closed. Guinness helping ugly people get lucky since 1822. The Rev Dear Falco Denial is a word us priests don’t believe exists! However I suspect that there may be some truth to what you have said. So I consulted a personal friend of mine perhaps you have heard of the famous Dr. David Icke. He is well informed of Snoop Doggs reptilian agenda. It started back in the 1970’s when Mr. Dogg asked the Bishop to pay for repairs to his record player. The repair cost were denied by the Vatican and Mr. Dogg was forced to play it manually, thus resulting in that god awful noise they call rap music, soo I believe he has had his revenge. Since that time we have been battling the take over of the reptilians, you might remember having dry scaly skin and an urge to eat flies for a few days afterwards. As for the Bishop, well he gets a kick out pretending to be a door especially at private clubs were they have that little sliding window you have to talk into to gain admission. Now you understand why the bouncer is always ugly. The hook-nosed midget with the hunch-back from Prague happens to be my aunt Sylvia who needed to pay the milkman. She tells me your wallet is in the mail. You promised not say any thing about the trip to Tijuana…….. Now with all my reasonable explanations of the events there is no reason to blackmail anyone. Besides he has agreed to let you wear the sequined green dress next Saturday. So be nice and send me that tape (and any copies, ya little skalley WaGG) . The Rev Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent-Storm Posted May 30, 2005 #14 Share Posted May 30, 2005 Dear Rev. I keep seeing a very greedy little dwarf in the corner of my bedroom. Now he says he will go away if i feed him with guinness and current buns. And if i do he will reward me with a pot of gold. Now this seems strange to me, is this little dude telling me lies. Yours Silent-Storm.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irish Posted May 30, 2005 Author #15 Share Posted May 30, 2005 (edited) Dear Silent-Storm Not to worry, its just the Bishop he had a slow day yesterday with the collection plate. Give him a couple of bottles and send him on his way. PS. Don't fall for that pot of gold crap real Leprechauns dont keep their gold in their boxers. All the Best The Rev Edited May 30, 2005 by Irish Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walken Posted May 31, 2005 #16 Share Posted May 31, 2005 Dear Reverend, I've hard some rather scan-da-lus rumors that you are in fact not a reverend. In fact, I've heard words the devil himself would not spew, that you're in fact not even Irish. Which tool should best be used to SPLICE this liars head open? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH2097 Posted May 31, 2005 #17 Share Posted May 31, 2005 Dear Reverend, I've hard some rather scan-da-lus rumors that you are in fact not a reverend. In fact, I've heard words the devil himself would not spew, that you're in fact not even Irish. Which tool should best be used to SPLICE this liars head open? 648041[/snapback] I have a pretty nifty katana that I've been dying to try out lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Falco Rex Posted May 31, 2005 #18 Share Posted May 31, 2005 Dear Reverend, I've followed your advice and mailed all copies of the video directly to the Vatican. I have also received the Green Dress from the Bishop.. However; to my horror, he's completely pitted-it out, and also spilled a large quantity of chees dip all over the front of it. And I have that formal dinner with King Juan Carlos of Spain tomorrow!! What should I do? Yours, Forlorn Falco in New Hampshire Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irish Posted May 31, 2005 Author #19 Share Posted May 31, 2005 Dear Reverend, I've hard some rather scan-da-lus rumors that you are in fact not a reverend. In fact, I've heard words the devil himself would not spew, that you're in fact not even Irish. Which tool should best be used to SPLICE this liars head open? 648041[/snapback] Dear Walken Rumors, rumors and more rumors that’s all they are young Walken. I can assure you that I diligently hand cut and collected all 22 coupons from the top of the Weatos boxes. And I used proper return postage to acquire my position as reverend. As for the Irish thing it is true only that I have eaten so much Chinese food over my long life that Beijing has offered me citizenship. The Rev Dear RH2097 My fellow Calgaryain Katanas are rather messy and may stain my cassock. I recommend rolled up newspapers. The Rev Dear Falco Thank you for the return of the evidence ah! Sorry videos. I trust that there are no other copies floating around the Sun office. You wouldn’t want to waste your Saturday nights doing pennants now you wrasscle. As for the dress, Spain is hot and humid this time of year and you may find the open pits refreshing in the night breeze. I would recommend that you purchase some of those green Doritos chips and secure them to the dress with the left over cheese dip. Only a discerning eye will notice the difference between the sequins. And beside that you will be able to offer King Juan Carlos a midnight snack as you troll I mean stroll the beaches of Madrid. The Rev Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walken Posted May 31, 2005 #20 Share Posted May 31, 2005 Dear Reverend, I have completed Halo on legendary mode and now have very little to do. I have come to the conclusion that I could re-in-act Halo by painting my cats blue and cutting tiny plasa rifles out of card-board, before driving down my road shooting at my neighbours and robbing a convenience store, before blowing up my apartment building claiming it is a super weapon capable of destroying this entire universe. What method would be best applied to avoid detection by the authorities during this epic adventure? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*MoG* Posted May 31, 2005 #21 Share Posted May 31, 2005 (edited) Dear Reverand, What type of hair removal is most Christian, shaving, waxing or hair removal cream. Please help - I am currently 'going natural' and now that the sun has come out I seem to resemble a wooly mamoth! Thanks Mog. Edited May 31, 2005 by Mystic Mog Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irish Posted May 31, 2005 Author #22 Share Posted May 31, 2005 Dear Reverend, I have completed Halo on legendary mode and now have very little to do. What method would be best applied to avoid detection by the authorities during this epic adventure? 648710[/snapback] Dear Walken I cannot understand how you acquired a Halo in the first place? And I bet you don’t even know how to play a harp. I think you should find something more age appropriate to waste your time with. I am sending you a subscription to National Geographic Magazine. PS check out issue 2237 page 33 Bhena is the best The Rev Dear Reverand, What type of hair removal is most Christian, shaving, waxing or hair removal cream. Please help - I am currently 'going natural' and now that the sun has come out I seem to resemble a wooly mamoth! Thanks Mog. Dear Mog I am going to assume that you are talking about your head as this is a family orientated website. It is true that God only created a few perfect heads and the rest He covered with hair. As Christians we are used to persecution so I would recommend waxing in small painful strips. Without giving a way my age, wooly mammoths make adorable pets! The Rev Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Undefined_innocence Posted May 31, 2005 #23 Share Posted May 31, 2005 (edited) Dear Rev. I seem to be having problems believing in your truths. You seem to make each answer so pretty that i have a hard time discerning wether you are truthfully good, or Or good at being untruthful. Could you please send me some references that i may check in on? PS. I find the Bishop quite disturbing. I am having problems believing he is a truthful man also. Please help. Edited May 31, 2005 by Undefined_innocence Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irish Posted May 31, 2005 Author #24 Share Posted May 31, 2005 Dear Undefined_innocence We have a wise saying handed down from St. Patrick. “Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies”. I have excellent references just check with the following people and get back to me. Amelia Earhart, experienced fly girl. Jimmy Hoffer, Cement expert. Bin Laden, cave explorer. David Icke, exotic pet collector. George Bush, Tap Dancer. I am sure they can give both me an the Bishop the big thumbs up , at least I hope that’s their thumb. The Rev Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walken Posted May 31, 2005 #25 Share Posted May 31, 2005 (edited) Dear Reverend, I notice that your name is an ugly shade of green. So is Walkens. Shall we dance? Intresting to note, So is Falco's. Perhaps he can dance too, no? Edited June 1, 2005 by Walken Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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