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request for a raise

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#1    Mr-X


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Posted 31 October 2002 - 05:35 AM

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the
following reasons:
      I do physical labor
      I work at great depths
      I plunge head first into everything I do
      I do not get weekends or public holidays off
      I work in a damp environment
      I don't get paid overtime,
      I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
                                I work in high temperatures, and
      My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Dear Penis:

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following  reasons: You can not work 8 hours straight, You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods,
You do not always follow the orders of the management team, You do not
stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other  locations, You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working, You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift, You
don't always observen necessary safety regulations, such as wearing
the correct protective clothing, You will retire well before you are 65, you are
unable to work double shifts, You sometimes leave your designated work before you have completed the assigned task,  And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.
     Sincerely, The Management  

Oh, you should never doubt what no one is sure about.
- Willy Wonka

#2    Halo_Jones


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Posted 31 October 2002 - 10:19 AM

You forgot to add that 2 mins work, does not justify a full hours pay  ;D
Nice one Mr X :s2

#3    Bizarro


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Posted 01 November 2002 - 02:10 AM

hahahaa.  i really liked this one, X.  keep em coming  :s2

if there was a meteor,
adrift amongst space,
set about on a collision course
not with Earth, but my face...
i wonder if id even know,
at what time i might,
be passed off like an old style
and by the meteor be smite?

- me, 1997

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