My Own Personal Hell

[thaphantum]

i usually don't have nightmares in the usual sense... creatures and things in my dreams don't scare me in the least bit... but from time to time i have dreams that seem so real that they scare the crap out of me...

after i posted earlier... i went back to sleep... in my dream i was on the phone talking to a friend... but suddenly i couldn't open my eyes and i could feel the scar tissue on my face...

what really tripped me out was the fact that i was blind... and as a seeing person... when something happens, my first reaction is to check my surroundings or look at whatever part of my body has been hurt...

that was crazy... because when i woke up a few minutes ago... i was thinking... damn... if i ever went blind... i would be in my own personal hell on earth...

i'm not even sure that this goes in this area... so the moderators can move it if they wish... but i just thought i would share that disturbing dream...

oh yeah... i remember why i started posting it in this section...

if you went blind... how do you think that would affect your belief in God/karma/whatever you believe in?

personally, i don't think it would change my belief in God... cause Lord knows i can't really say "i don't deserve this"... lol... i have way too much past to say that... but i think it would really suck...

Edited April 6, 2007 by thaphantum

[GoddessWhispers]

That imo, should be in your own personal Blog.

[mako]

this is a subject that you should discuss with Seanph, he has experience in this department (not blindness, but paralysis). My recurring deam is being back in Vietnam right after we crash landed. In the dream, instead of crashlanding on the runway of the airbase, we crashlanded just outside a VC held village. The Major and I were trying to E&E (Evade and Escape) back to friendly territory, but we have VC all around us. I always wake up in a heavy sweat before we actually escape. I guess you could say that is my personal Hell!

[Shadow_Hill]

if you went blind... how do you think that would affect your belief in God/karma/whatever you believe in?

As I believe that God exists but plays no part in my life, it would not change my beliefs. Why blame a being who has had no hand in my condition?

I have seen many do that though... blame God for their misfortunes. They expect too much... they expect a reward for good behaviour, some sort of immunity to suffering.

As for my own personal hell... there are too many possibilities to list.

[mako]

Shadow Hill, your beliefs seem similar to that of the Deists, you might not be one of us, would you?

[SilverCougar]

if you went blind... how do you think that would affect your belief in God/karma/whatever you believe in?

I'm already half blind.. *chuckles* Being fully blind would not effect my beliefs.

However, being a blind massage therapist would have it's perks. *evil grin*

[Radian]

Ive mentioned this experience on a previous thread.... but this is about fears.

My personal hell or fear would be the night we were running away from my mother who was in a manic phase of mental illness mixed with some serious drugs who attempted to kill us (my siblings and myself). I have nightmares still about that, and it was when I was 9. But, in this hell dream everything doesn't work out--- I dream I'm running, but the weight of my brother (3 years old), and sister (six), is weighing me down, and I can't seem to move my legs in this hell. I'm getting very frustrated & in tears at my brother/sister b/c neither seems to not coorperate with me.. He's on my back, and she's fighting me not wanting to run, so i'm dragging her ... and I can hear my mother close behind us.

[ReignStarz]

Ever heard of Lucid dreaming?? That stuff scares me like crazy...Its when your sleep/awake and you can control your dreams....I remember I had dreams of spiders all around me and I felt as if I was awake. So awake that all my senses work and when I blinked they were gone...Lucid dreaming can be controlled though you should read up on it.

[Shadow_Hill]

Shadow Hill, your beliefs seem similar to that of the Deists, you might not be one of us, would you?

I think I might be...

[thaphantum]

Ever heard of Lucid dreaming?? That stuff scares me like crazy...Its when your sleep/awake and you can control your dreams....I remember I had dreams of spiders all around me and I felt as if I was awake. So awake that all my senses work and when I blinked they were gone...Lucid dreaming can be controlled though you should read up on it.

i have those types of dreams all the time... i never knew what it was called... i'm going to read up on that too...

it's a great thing to control your dreams...

[ReignStarz]

Yea I usually get them too. I also get dreams where im awake talking to someone(Person im sleeping next to lol) About something and its gibberish but in my mind I know what im saying is correct and I know that its right even when they tell me its wrong.. Its pretty wierd..

[Grandpa Greenman]

I haven't gone blind but it is always a possibility with my MS. Sometimes I have to lay in bed with my eyes closed for days on end cause I get dizzy when I open them on those days I might as well be blind. I did lose my ability to walk for about two months. Doctors would come in everyday and tell me I would never walk again. I became more spiritual. When I went into rehab nearly all the nurses had know idea what a Pagan was, by they time I left they knew. My walking is still not all that great and I walk with a cane and lately I been thinking I should start using my walker again.

You learn to adapt cause your still alive and you still have things to do. I know a lot of people who are disabled in many different ways in my MS group. They are some of the most religious people I know. I think there are only three besides me who are non-Christians and they are Jews.

My father was blind toward the end of his life, but it didn't have an effect on his spirituality cause he was a life long atheist. He lived as good a life as possible. He use to go fishing, get talking books, and a number of other things he enjoyed, but most of all he never lost his sense of humor.

You have to live with what life throws you. You would be amazed at how much strength you get from adversity.

There was a show about a man who had ALS on Frontline on PBS. It worth watching if you can catch it.

So Much So Fast

[Nephilim_Slayer]

i usually don't have nightmares in the usual sense... creatures and things in my dreams don't scare me in the least bit... but from time to time i have dreams that seem so real that they scare the crap out of me...

after i posted earlier... i went back to sleep... in my dream i was on the phone talking to a friend... but suddenly i couldn't open my eyes and i could feel the scar tissue on my face...

what really tripped me out was the fact that i was blind... and as a seeing person... when something happens, my first reaction is to check my surroundings or look at whatever part of my body has been hurt...

that was crazy... because when i woke up a few minutes ago... i was thinking... damn... if i ever went blind... i would be in my own personal hell on earth...

i'm not even sure that this goes in this area... so the moderators can move it if they wish... but i just thought i would share that disturbing dream...

oh yeah... i remember why i started posting it in this section...

if you went blind... how do you think that would affect your belief in God/karma/whatever you believe in?

personally, i don't think it would change my belief in God... cause Lord knows i can't really say "i don't deserve this"... lol... i have way too much past to say that... but i think it would really suck...

It wouldnt change my belief in God. I'd view it as a challenge that was given to me, an obstacle to conquer. Would it suck? Very much so...but I think it would strengthen me as well. I've had dreams where I had some sort of blindness, but not the typical earthly blindness we know today.