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Is Suicide Selfish?
Posted by
lizzieboo
,
16 September 2012
·
460 views
I've read many arguments about whether suicide is a selfish act. One especially vehement condemnation of those who end their own lives surprised me greatly because it came from a woman who is, herself, a person with bipolar disorder. Apparently her father killed himself when she was a child and, to this day (she's middle-aged now), she declares that she "hates" him for having ruined the lives of his surviving relatives (herself included).
I don't see it that way. I feel deep sorrow and pity toward survivors of friends or relatives who chose to kill themselves, but I also feel sorrow and pity for the person who chose to leave the world at his own hand.
This is where my compassion toward people who committed suicide comes in: I have, myself, wanted to end my life not just to end my own pain--but also to relieve my loved ones of the burden of having to deal with my mood swings. During my darkest bouts of bipolar depression, one of the most overpowering negative emotions I experience is guilt for putting my family and friends through the pain, stress, and annoyance I'm sure they must feel due to my stupid moods. And I feel that my friends and family deserve better from me.
What makes it worse is that even when I am so deeply depressed that I wish I could just go to sleep and not wake up, I'm still fully cognizant of the fact that there are millions of people all over the world who have it so very much worse than I do. So who am I to be depressed, and to place the burden of dealing with my depression on people who have their own pain and troubles.
I've heard the arguments about survivors feeling guilty because they wonder whether they could have "saved" the person who killed himself, and I understand that. But to feel anger and hatred toward a person who killed himself, or to condemn him for "selfishness" is, I believe, unfair. That person may have genuinely believed that he was doing his loved ones a favor by removing the necessity of taking care of him.
I don't see it that way. I feel deep sorrow and pity toward survivors of friends or relatives who chose to kill themselves, but I also feel sorrow and pity for the person who chose to leave the world at his own hand.
This is where my compassion toward people who committed suicide comes in: I have, myself, wanted to end my life not just to end my own pain--but also to relieve my loved ones of the burden of having to deal with my mood swings. During my darkest bouts of bipolar depression, one of the most overpowering negative emotions I experience is guilt for putting my family and friends through the pain, stress, and annoyance I'm sure they must feel due to my stupid moods. And I feel that my friends and family deserve better from me.
What makes it worse is that even when I am so deeply depressed that I wish I could just go to sleep and not wake up, I'm still fully cognizant of the fact that there are millions of people all over the world who have it so very much worse than I do. So who am I to be depressed, and to place the burden of dealing with my depression on people who have their own pain and troubles.
I've heard the arguments about survivors feeling guilty because they wonder whether they could have "saved" the person who killed himself, and I understand that. But to feel anger and hatred toward a person who killed himself, or to condemn him for "selfishness" is, I believe, unfair. That person may have genuinely believed that he was doing his loved ones a favor by removing the necessity of taking care of him.
