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Who you gonna call?......

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#1    Kira


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Posted 10 August 2002 - 09:23 PM

:s2 Here's some thing that was emailed to me. Thought you might like it.

A transcript of the new answering service recently installed at the Royal College of Psychiatry hot line...

"Hello and welcome to the mental health hotline-

If you are obsessive, press 1 repeatedly....

If you are co-dependant please ask someone else to press 2 for you......

If you have multiple personalities, pres 3,4,5, and 6.......

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so that we can trace your call.........

If you are delusional, press 7 and your cal will be transferred to the mother ship.........

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.......

If your are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press no one will answer.............

If you are dyslexic, press 969696969696969...........

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on line......

If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address,phone number,date of birth,social security number and your mother's maiden name...........

If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000........

If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Please wait for the beep................

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.........

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.........

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.........

If you have low self-esteem, hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you..........

;D Enjoy.....

We do what we do because of who we are. If we did otherwise, we would not be ourselves.

#2    Tommy


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Posted 10 August 2002 - 09:54 PM

:s2 nice find CW :s2

"Superstition created all the gods and angels, all the devils and ghosts, all the witches, demons and goblins, gave us all the augurs, soothsayers and prophets, filled the heavens with signs and wonders, broke the chain of cause and effect, and wrote the history of man in miracles and lies" ~ Robert Green Ingersoll

#3    Guest__*

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Posted 11 August 2002 - 01:57 AM

very good celtic  :s2

#4    Rae



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Posted 11 August 2002 - 02:33 AM

If your are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press no one will answer.............

 I thought they were all hilarious, but this one was my favorite!
            :s2   Very Funny!  :s2
    Thanks CW!

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#5    Homer


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Posted 11 August 2002 - 04:07 AM

:s2 Brilliant CW :s2

אַ֭תָּה אֱלֹהֵ֣י יִשְׁעִ֑י

#6    dalia



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Posted 11 August 2002 - 09:03 AM

Loved it Celtic...thanks!   :s2

Dalia  :su

Purrr-fectly happy

#7    Halo_Jones


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Posted 11 August 2002 - 12:43 PM

                                                                                            Very Good CW  :s2
7 7 7 7............ I'm Still Waiting.......     :sj                  

#8    Loonboy



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Posted 11 August 2002 - 01:13 PM

If you are co-dependant please ask someone else to press 2 for you......


Do what you want and be what you feel. Because after all, those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't 'mind.

Work hard, keep the ceremonies, live peacably, and unite your hearts. Hopi

Listen to the voice of nature, for it holds treasures for you. Huron

The soul would have no rainbow if the eyes had no tears. Minquass

#9    odinsupreme



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Posted 11 August 2002 - 07:04 PM


Odin S. :s9

#10    Magikman


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Posted 12 August 2002 - 03:00 AM

:s2 :s2 :s2

Very funny stuff, Celti.   :su


Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep insights can be winnowed from deep nonsense. ~ Carl Sagan

"...man has an irrepressible tendency to read meaning into the buzzing confusion of sights and sounds impinging on his senses; and where no agreed meaning can be found, he will provide it out of his own imagination." ~ Arthur Koestler

#11    SpaceyKC


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Posted 12 August 2002 - 04:37 AM

            :s2  Great post,  CW!!   :s2
          That's one to print out...and put next to the phone!!   ;D

"Science may have found a cure for most evils;  but it has
         found no remedy for the worst of them all --- the apathy of human beings."
                                                     Helen Keller

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